Who the hell am I?!

August 30th, 2011 by Agent Kevin Miller

Hey. You.

Every week you get blogs or podcasts or emails from me. You may or may not read them, I have no idea. If you don’t, you should hit the handy little ‘unsubscribe’ button at the bottom of the notices.

The only reason you get my blather is because at some point you were interested in something regarding self-employment and you signed up or bought something through my website.

Here’s the deal, I don’t even LIKE ‘work’. I don’t care about ‘business’. In a social group, I’d rather hang with the women and talk about kids and relationships than ‘sports’ and ‘work’ in the guy’s circle. The “So, what do you do?” always stumps me. “What do I do?” I make breakfast for 7 kids, I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t see or quite possibly touch baby poop, I run on elk trails, I spend a lot of time looking at computer screens and ‘pushing buttons’ as my kids say, I can fix a lot of stuff that so often breaks in my house… What kind of a question is that?

All I can really say for myself is that I think our culture and society hands out plates of crap and most folks say ‘thank you’. I just can’t. It’s crap. It smells and makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. It comes in the form of mindless media consumption and grotesque consumerism addiction and the worst to me, giving away our inheritance for a scrap of crap, or in other words…giving away our God-given calling for a lousy job to pay the bills so we can buy dumb ass stuff that is nothing close to an actual necessity.

Why listen to me? I don’t know. I guess just for that. I see folks suffering from accepting crap and it hurts my heart. I think it hurts God’s heart. That may be all I can offer or have going for me. I can help you find an idea that fits you and make money with it so you own your time and life and can live out what you were created for and live out your calling better. Trade in the crap for God’s feast.

But otherwise, I’m a wreck.

Want to know about me?
I’m a glutton at heart. Some overweight folks say there is a skinny person inside them trying to get out. Not me. There is an obese guy inside me striving to escape. I’m pretty sure I have a food addiction. I bend it to being skinny, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not there. Food haunts me. Coffee, sugar, carbs and wine.
I’m often an ass. I more naturally disapprove of what my kids don’t do, then what they do. I believe my charge is to delight in them and show them the mercy and love and grace of our Lord Jesus. But I spend way too much time disdaining what more they aren’t doing. Even though they do more than any other kids I could possibly point to. I suck.
I’m a control freak. You might not guess it, cause I don’t have to control the situation or circumstance and can endure about anything (the next problem). What I have to control is…me. Guess who this serves. Me. Nobody else.
I’m an endurance junkie. As a pro cyclist I would have won ten times as many races if I’d have stuck to what I was most skilled at, sprinting. But I loved long, suffering endurance. This doesn’t serve relationships. Instead of fixing what needs to be fixed, I revert to enduring the pain. Wow. That’s freakin’ stupid.
I’m a luster. A “lust for life” as in the book title about van Gogh sounds good. And on one side, it is. It drives me. Lust in the right place is powerful. A lust for God, for truth, for righteousness. And I have those! But I also have a lust for food, sex, adrenalin, pride and more.
I get angry. A lot. Now again, I don’t like being out of control, so I don’t rage or lose my temper. I just simmer under the surface and disable myself from being worth a shit to anyone or anything. At my worst I’m prone to hitting inanimate objects (and after one hole in a door that I had to later fix, try to contain it to things outdoors, though a hard, too hard run or bike ride can usually suffice. Self-flagellation.)
I’m prideful, arrogant, egotistical, self-centered…

That’s probably enough.

What’s the point here? We’ll never totally fix ourselves. We don’t arrive. Zig Ziglar loves saying that “God don’t make no junk.” He’s totally right, but we are born broken. And we never get totally fixed here on this earth. None of us. Don’t kid yourself. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal and don’t strive for your own. Maybe you’ll feel you’re better off than me. Great. Then you have even more reason to say no to the crap.

Regardless, we can DO better. We can BE better. Even in our eternally broken state. None of us have an excuse, cause there is always someone whose had it worse and is doing more.

You have this life. You are where you are right now. What are you waiting for? When will you have it all together. When will the circumstances be good enough?

Give it up.

Just do the right thing now. Do it anyway. Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s by just existing and making excuses. You’re ripping everybody off, yourself, your family, God and humanity.

Quit saying “Thank you” for the plate of crap. It’s crap. It’s not so monumental to say “Oh God, no, I’ll pass.” You might miss a few meals, but it will be worth it. The crap doesn’t sustain you, it’s just a myth.

Brought to you by the wreck of Agent Kevin Miller and the gift of the wonderful leaders at Free Agent Academy where we join arms to say no to crap.

Sept. 6, 2011 Update: I did a show on this blog and discussed:

Why did I write it?
Why so candid?
Why did people find value in it

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Free Agent Underground Show – “Who the hell am I?!”

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Posted in Calling, Faith, Idea, Personal Development, podcast, Self-Employment
120 Comments

Discouraged By You

You and Dan have a similar passion… so why do I feel encouraged when I read his stuff and shit on when I read yours?
- Tim
  
  I don’t know u my friend, but Kevin’s stuff went through your grid a little differently than it did mine. I suppose it is where we are at in life. Bruce Von Bec´k is real. Kevin is real. I can relate to their self analysis, yet with a tone of hope. The problem with our “Christian” culture is that it doesn’t encourage the realism; it only hypes the phoney. Until our people admit where we are, we won’t see repentance and revival.
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Tim, I like like your last line. We can repent and revive as we are…immediately. That…is the hope and truth.
  - http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller
    
    This is such truth (crappy, but real) –
    “The problem with our ‘Christian’ culture is that it doesn’t encourage the realism; it only hypes the phoney.”
    
    Most of our churches are full of the pharisees Jesus condemned as snakes. But He came to love us broken, humbled, messed-up, needy ones. All those holy folks? All offended by words & sin & failures? Well, they got it goin’ on, and don’t need Jesus anyway, right?
    
    Oh, and there I go, gettin’ all self-righteous defensive of my man….
    
    Chock-full of my own sh$&. Daily aware of my desperate need for a savior.
    
    I surely don’t need to read more words of wonderfully-polished wisdom from a spit-shined pharisee. Give me the compassionate, nitty-gritty truth of cranky ol’ doubting Thomas…there is where I see Christ’s mercy, His hard truth, and His tender grace. Tell me again about how passionate, spontaneous Peter cut the guard’s ear right off…how Jesus had to tell him, “Get behind me, satan!”…and still loved him so, tenderly reminding Peter three times over, washing away the shame of betrayal, failure, curse-words of our humanity.
    
    The reality is we all deal with crap, occasionally partake, and if we’re real honest, sometimes even wallow in it, like a grunting pig in warm mud. The gift of God’s Word is that we get to read the story of David’s failures…and see that despite his pride & sin & lust & crap, he was broken, humbled, repentant, weeping…and beloved by God Himself.
    
    Oh, that I could even be a little like sinful David, like cranky Thomas, like rash Peter…to be real, and broken, and loved by my Lord.
- Paul in Nashville
  
  I feel encouraged by both Dan and Kevin’s work. They are totally
  different forms of communication, but I need to view my challenges from
  different perspectives, and often. Kevin’s writing in this case is very
  blunt. There is no ‘sugar coating’… and I like ‘sugar coating’. But
  this morning, THIS is exactly what I had needed. A slap on the cheek to
  get me out of my trance. Many times I just stare at the problem, getting
  frustrated without seeing the solution. If I can get out of that trance, and look at it from a totally, and I mean TOTALLY different angle, I most commonly
  see something that was way off scale allowing me to see the learning
  experience, solution, or benefit of being in that tough situation.
  
  For those slightly disturbed by the article, (I was a little too) ask yourself why you were disturbed. In my case, it came down to the following excerpt:
  
  “Endurance Junkie.
  I’m an endurance junkie. As a pro cyclist I would have
  won ten times as many races if I’d have stuck to what I was most skilled
  at, sprinting. But I loved long, suffering endurance. This doesn’t
  serve relationships. Instead of fixing what needs to be fixed, I revert
  to enduring the pain. Wow. That’s freakin’ stupid.”
  
  That is me, and I was angry to be made aware of it. It scared me a little. I don’t want to face the fact that I’ve been veering away from what I am most skilled at, or wasting my time, all this reflection is a way of admitting I was wrong. So I get upset at myself, and upset at Kevin for bringing it to my attention.
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Paul – your reply blesses me tremendously. You didn’t sugarcoat it either. My quote on ‘endurance’ doesn’t give me joy either. I hate it actually. But I’ve proven it’s truth. As much as I long to care for people, especially my wife, I continue to fall back to enduring instead of addressing. It doesn’t serve her. And thus doesn’t serve me. And yet I still do it so often! I regret much. If it helps you or anyone else…that helps redeem my regret, though doesn’t take it away. So let’s you and I make a pact to quit. Quit enduring. Start sprinting to addressing, eh?!
- http://hirstmusic.com Mike Hirst
  
  Similar passions, but very different messages. Dan teaches work that you love. Kevin teaches living a life that matters. I would love a job as a pyrotechnic, but that would be as empty as any other J-O-B I’ve ever settled for. Dan’s teaching scratches that itch about work. Kevin’s teaching disrupts, interrogates, and pokes at the very fabric of life. Some people just aren’t comfortable with being uncomfortable.
  - Sheiran
    
    Kevin’s “rant” and your response resonates so well with me, especially the last sentence. This kind of genuine transparency and honesty is what I also love about Oswald Chambers work. A particular online title for one recent devotional was The Delight of Despair. I also smiled and enjoyed a few giggles as I read Kevin’s message.
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      Ah, thank you so much Sheiran. Comparing me to Oswald Chambers…I’m blushing. And glad I made you giggle.
      - Sheiran
        
        LOL Kevin! The comparison is a broad one : )
        I have recently been reading “Our Ultimate Refuge” on the book of Job. It also relates his experiences while serving as chaplain to British troops in Egypt during WWI and the criticisms that people make when judging others without knowing what has been often commonly referred to these days as the Back Story.
        
        Keep writing.
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Mike, your statement of “Kevin’s teaching disrupts, interrogates, and pokes at the very fabric of life” makes me want to strive and live up to that. Thank you. Thank you immensely.
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Cindy-Lara/1589330270 Cindy Lara
    
    Whenever I say the truth to people, some people embrace it- or they get very angry. Maybe it’s conviction that makes us re-examine our journey.
  - http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller
    
    That’s perhaps the greatest praise I’ve ever read about my husband.
    wow.
    Thanks, Mike.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Unfortunately, I don’t think a true email address was given for this post, so me replying won’t be worth much. I’m leaving it here though, for the sake of the worthwhile replies to it below.
  - David Thomas
    
    I actually don’t get that from Dan’s podcast at all. In listening to it, it seems that he is pretty blunt about what he thinks, and often speaks “off the cuff” in his answers and sometimes has to backtrack a bit. I don’t get an all rosy picture from him. I do think that both Dan and Kevin push people out of their comfort zones, which is uncomfortable, but the only way to grow as a person.
- http://twitter.com/jasonvandehey Jason Vandehey
  
  I don’t think that Dan is as transparent as Kevin in some ways, and his children aren’t teenagers and younger anymore either. I know that Dan has probably lost his temper in life, I’m sure that Kevin can attest to it. He’s probably said things that he shouldn’t have, and has probably not always had rosy golden days with his wife and family. Dan just doesn’t seem to share those types of things in the blog or podcast. That’s OK. Kevin has the burning desire to reach down into the pit and show people what kind of stinking pit it is and help them climb out. Dan seems to use a more “Come up and see the golden sunshine up here” approach. Both are fine, reach different people?
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Thanks for this Jason. I think we both speak what’s truly on our heart. I owe much to his example in my life of not settling for crap!
- http://www.jondale.com Jon Dale
  
  (Caution: my comment is not suitable for children…or adults without a sense of humor).
  
  Sometimes it’s good to get shit on a little. Granted…none of us want that all the time…but I’d prefer someone who spoke the truth to me than someone who always tickled my ears.
  
  I’ve been impacted by Dan’s writing and consider him a friend. I’ve been impacted by my friendship with Kevin, by the example I’ve seen him live out with his wife and kids (the whole herd of them) and I enjoy his writing. In fact you’re right, Kevin is the shit.
  
  There’s nothing wrong with leaving someone a negative post…but next time you’re gonna shit on someone have the guts to sign it with your name.
  
  Was that too harsh?
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Brother, I’m up late trying to keep up with emails and event planning. This made me laugh to myself on the couch. Can’t tell you how grateful I am for you…for peers who know the score of what we’re trying to do. And for friends who truly care. Everyone should be so rich. You Jon…make me feel rich.
  - http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller
    
    oh. my. gosh.
    my cheeks hurt from laughing.
    
    and I completely agree….Kevin is the shit.
    (in the very best way, even if he sometimes really pisses me off, with that whole endurance donkey-hole-routine.)
  - http://coachradio.tv/ Justin Lukasavige
    
    That was harsh, Jon. It’s very difficult to shit on someone while using your real name. Then everyone would know how big of a jerk you are.
    
    It’s much easier to hide behind a pseudonym and tell someone their stuff is crap while “pretending” to be friends, than it is to reveal your true identity.
    
    Give the guy a break, ok?
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      You guys are killin’ me, I’m going to lose every conservative Christian friend I have. Sh*t.
      - Archie
        
        NO… YOU WON’T !
http://www.facebook.com/bruce.beck Bruce Von Beck

Kevin, in June 2009, I completed the training given by Ashley and your dad to become a certified facilitator for 48 Days. I had grand dreams of being a life coach and helping others discover their talents and gifts. I also joined your Free Agent Academy. Then life changed. I hit a deep, deep depression that lasted from July 2009 to this past Feb. I planned on ending it all, the pain was just too much to carry on. I gave up everything. Quit my job. Dropped out of site. I shut down life to the bare minimum of functioning that I could get by with. I stopped eating. I went from 250 to 200. Then I started eating til I hit 291. A roller coaster of emotion, food and despair. Then life changed again. In February, Time Warner Cable’s Road Runner was installed. I started going back to Facebook. I connected with old friends. I was able to hide, but reach out and be me. The old Bruce. The Bruce that laughed and served others. And then God ramped up the recovery. I started working out, went back to church, joined a Thursday morning Bible study. Life is good again. :) I now know who I am and who I belong to. Had a superficial understanding, but now I know in the marrow of my being that I am God’s. I’m starting to look for work again. I’m volunteering at Cancer Patient Services – helping them migrate to new donor and client software. I’m full of life and dreams again. I will no longer be the old Bruce who settled for a life of crap in which I do not fully use the gifts that God has given me. I have a destiny and want to leave a legacy of love and hard work that blessed others. I don’t want to take any more. I want to give. I want work to be play and play to be work. Many I’s in this post – just realized. Sorry, but it is about me and what you wrote. :) Where am I now? Looking for a foundation job. A job in which I can launch my true vision of what God is calling me to. I’ve reserved 4-5 web addresses for life coaching ideas. Same idea, different names. Reserving them. I want to go through the 48 Days facilitator training again. Don’t know if I need to do the whole thing again or not. I want to join you again at Free Agent Academy. I believe in you and the leaders you’ve brought together. I don’t have a lot of money. In fact, my creditors could attest to that. So I’m praying for a foundation job to pay for my return to a productive life. Really connected with what you wrote above. Perhaps some day I’ll be able to meet you in person . . . to thank you for providing an alternative to the 40 year rut that so many Americans are in. Thank you!!!!
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Bruce…thank you. Bless you. My efforts within that blog are all worthwhile for your reply here. Great to hear from you. So sorry for the hard path you were on…wow. Thank you SO much for sharing and baring with us here. Brother, what you went through, God can redeem as you help and serve others. It will become a ‘talent’ that you use the rest of your life. Connect with others who will support and encourage you and don’t let go for fear of death. And hey, when you want to rejoin FAA, let me know, I’ll honor you having been with us before.
Tim

I was going to hit “unsubscribe”, but gave your title was interesting. So I read. This is one of the best posts I have read in a long time. Thanks for the transparency.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Tim, thanks for the honesty. You’d be unsubscriber #7 at this point. I’m immensely grateful you got value from this, truly.
http://www.kevingainey.com Kevin Gainey

Love the honesty and even the tone – right up my alley and it’s uncanny how similar sone of the statements are to my own thoughts. Though I think those thoughts are more common in our culture than anyone wants to admit. Looking forward to talking about this stuff and everything else next week! Just don’t look to me to be an inspiration when it comes to coffee or carbs!
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Kevin – I think the truth is that we all have a lot of similarities. Good and bad. That was part of my point here. Folks don’t produce good works because they are ‘fixed’ or have ‘arrived.’ They are broken…and just produce anyway. So stoked to be seeing you next week here in Colorado for the event. I’ll consume your share of coffee and carbs…
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Cindy-Lara/1589330270 Cindy Lara
    
    So jealous of all the fun and learning going to happen at your awesome seminar.
Ivan Bickett

Kevin, here’s what I love, you’re human. And you share that with us all.

The internet has allowed so many folks to hide who they are with anonymity (which in a way allows people too scared to say what they think to your face to hide behind the unknown and lambast others). But you have taken the other route and said, “Here I am. This is me. The real me. Enjoy.”

Kudos to you for being bold, brave, and swimming against the stream.

I discovered years ago that it’s MUCH better to just be me. In person or online. One, I’m a horrible liar so I would NEVER be able to lie through my actions for very long. Two, it’s MUCH less painful to just be me and turn people off on the front end than it is to be what some else wants and then when the real me shines through, b/c it will, be rejected later. So I am who I am. Take it or leave it.

And Kevin, even reading your list of “faults” I still was just sitting here going, “I KNEW this guy was a goodie-two-shoes! THAT’s all that’s wrong with him?!?!” I think I’d be happy if my faults were as pleasant.

~Ivan
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Ivan. Hey, I didn’t say that was ALL my folks, just the ones that surfaced first as I wrote. I can keep adding to that. And I’m not OK with them, I’ll continue till my dying days to improve. But regardless…we’re here to serve and love and leave a legacy, eh? As you are fervently bent on doing right now…
http://www.dmdude.com Digital Marketing Dude

Honest and gritty!! Nice job Kevin.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks brother! ‘Gritty’ is good by me
Steve

Thank you Kevin. Thank you for your flat out honesty and your courage to share it – most refreshing! Your very words could be my own and I think many other men out there could agree. All of us are a mess to one degree or another, but we’re also all wonderful to one degree or another. But we still have to be honest with ourselves about the mess. Some of us never see improvement in areas of our lives because often we don’t own up to the crap we create in our lives. It’s only when we face this reality that we can truly shake off the crud and set course for a new direction.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Well said Steve. Yeah, we’re all a mess. We can leave it at that, or be a ‘wonderful mess’ as you reference
http://forgottenflix.com Joel G. Robertson

Kevin, man, this post spoke to me on a profound, deep level. I struggle with many of the same issues as you (and so many more). As I move through FAA, I’m learning so much about myself, how I’m wired, etc. And while that’s helping on one level, on another, it’s painful as it forces me to come to terms with many of my “faults”. But thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for helping so many see that there is an “alternative” to what we’ve been doing.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  The truth so often hurts, but it’s the only things that hurt, eh? My wife revealed a truth about me yesterday…a way I am NOT there for her. It hurt. It hurts now. But it’s true. Only in knowing it can I correct it though, as you attest to here. Thanks brother, honored to be a small part of your journey to truth.
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Cindy-Lara/1589330270 Cindy Lara
    
    It just gets better and better!!!
Dr David Powers

Awesome angry truth…I love it. Makes me hurt because it’s true. I consider that a good hurt, a hurt that’ll make me want to change. To misquote the famous sermon title, we’re all Sinners in the Hands of an Angry god (little g). It’s just that all too often the god we serve is the crap that’s served to us.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Brother, you’re a kindred spirit…I know. I adore your realness as well. You honor me by reading and commenting
Anonymous

I love it Kevin. A beautiful rant filled with gems. I’m a lot of those things too.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Mike…’a beautiful rant’. That sounds OK
Kristiann

Kevin…you paint a perfect picture of what we look like with the coat of our sinful nature. I’m thankful that the cross has made it possible for God to look at me through the eyes of Jesus, washed white as snow. Although we have to fight that worldly dirty nature daily here on earth, I know that God is willing to fight with me to bring who I truly am (made in HIS image) to the forefront of my life to reflect His name.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Well put Kristiann…thanks sister.
Jack Lynady

Answer: Loved
http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

I just opened my laptop this morning at 10:20am and right at the top of my email are alerts about these blog comments. The very first one listed was from the ‘Discouraged by you’ person. My heart sank a bit. Not because I’m devastated by a critic, but for the fear I missed the mark. I also got 6 ‘unsubscribes’ so far. But with so many of you commenting that this had value for you, and out of thousands of subscribers I guess losing 6 isn’t terrible. Thank you all. I’ll respond to each comment, but just wanted to say thanks. Not more normal post. It just came out and with a little trepidation…I hit ‘publish’ and let it fly. I’m never totally confident. It’s like hearing from God. Was that really God speaking, or a bad bean burrito from lunch… Thanks.
Moncrief Williams

We all hurt at different levels and I commend you for sharing that you are human……God uses this to bless others when we realize that He is ultimately in control…..not us.

May God continue to hold you in His mighty Hands, so that you can continue to be a blessing to others.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Moncrief. Part of my cry here is that we can do great things, even as we’re broken. Waiting to do great things till we’re ‘fixed’ is folly. If there is any ‘fixing’ to happen, it’s during the journey to worthwhile endeavors.
Jerrycampbell01577

Loved the meat of the subject, just hurt by the language in the title and the post. It was strange that I had to make sure I didn’t read this in front of my kids so they would not see the title, especially from a fellow believer. I appreciate the point that you are trying to be real, I just feel we are called to be different from the world and I have always struggled with believers who want to be different and set apart, yet who still use language that parents don’t want their kids to hear. Hear my heart. I am not trying to be legalistic or condemning. I really am not, but I just struggle with this issue of foul language by believers when other words would work just as well. I hear your heart and still benefited from the post, I just stumbled over the language factor.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Jerry, you know…I hear you. I really do. And I won’t even try to justify my language. It’s definitely not a post for kids, no doubt. And the public use of profanity is not something I condone, and actually think it’s ignorant and insensitive. So then why did I use it? I’m not above some shock value to draw attention, but then I wouldn’t use it for that alone if it wasn’t true to who I am. In the heat of my heart, and in true rawness, those words communicated best as my fingers rapidly typed, and I decided to trust them. So oddly enough, it was done in faith. Maybe it was wrong. Regardless, thanks for your graciousness in your reply and I am sorry to have caused you to stumble, brother.
  - David Thomas
    
    Actually, I think kids should see these things. Language is out there, and whether we think so or not, they have heard it and read it already. Imagine if all of us had these thoughts put in our heads as kids and grew up with it. What a different world we might all have. This post was written from the heart (it reads that way, anyway) and sometimes the nicey nice filter gets bypassed. This can be a good thing, and I personally think that this is one of those times. I must respectfully disagree with Jerry and Curtis.
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      David, it’s interesting that this came up about kids. I don’t curse in front of my kids. Well, not for the most part. At least not something like sh*t. But I didn’t write this to them. I wrote it to ‘grown ups’ that read my stuff. I spoke with conviction and fervor and said it exactly like I would to my wife or best friends or pastor and doctors (best friends in truth). They can handle it and understand and speak similarly. It’s much about context. We all have our little laws that we attest to, and we judge others by them like it’s eternal, absolute truth. I don’t eat meat and won’t patronize McDonalds. My little personal law. I try not to disdain those that don’t follow my laws…as they’re just that. Mine.
- Curtis
  
  Absolutely with Jerry on this one. Shock value makes me run the other way. I am disappointed.
  - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
    
    Well Curtis, I sure don’t aim to disappoint, and I value you. As I stated in my reply to Jerry, I didn’t do what I did with absolute confidence. Maybe just regrettable truth.
    - Curtis
      
      The end does not justify the means. Sorry.
      - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
        
        I accept that statement in regards to you personally Curtis
    - http://roborr.net Rob Orr
      
      I don’t think it’s a regrettable truth, but maybe an honest, unpleasant or even brutal truth. The thing is regardless of how we’re all broken or in whatever way it manifests itself we’re ALL still broken and at the mercy of God.
      
      It’s not like God doesn’t know these things about us. Here’s the most profound thing I’ve learned recently – he’s wanting to know if we know these things about ourselves! “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” God is perfectly clear of how and where we’re broken.
      
      I think this principle – more than anything else recently has been the most difficult “spiritual” challenge I’ve had to face – seeing what’s really in ME.
      I applaud your honesty Kevin.
      - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
        
        Rob – that’s a great line, “…he’s wanting to know if we know these things about ourselves!” That’s really good, as I see most folks viewing God as soley focused on us getting ‘fixed.’ Like that’s the point of our existence…to get fixed. We’re broken. Serve and do great anyway, eh?!
        
        Yeah, I’m continually getting more clarity on what’s really in me. And there’s not much to brag about. Less and less everyday. Which is great. I can quit wasting time on me and go brag on others instead.
Doug G

Kevin….

It is all crap. all the stuff that we are told is important…it’s just crap. 5 years I ago I was entrenched in corporate America, loving my 4 weeks vacation, free lunch every day, living the “Office Space” life…yeah, built a house in the ‘burbs, did all of that crap and learned the hard way that it was not the life I wanted and not the lifestyle I wanted for my family…then, through a series of life’s events I have been unemployed for the past period of time…I have done odd jobs and Patty and I are working on our business. God has been there and provided what we needed, not what we wanted.

It is a broken world…crap just happens and sometimes I help make it happen. Food, yeah I agree with ya… sometimes I enjoy eating a hot dog and who knows what crap is that, right! As I have aged I have realized that most of the things that are important, really aren’t…give me a day with my wife, daughter, a cup of coffee and I am good…

Just working on my focus…

Peace,
Doug
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks for your transparency Doug, I’m grateful to be a fly on the wall of your journey. Your reply reminds me of the story of “The Mexican Fisherman”. If you haven’t read it, I just found it here: http://www.inspirationpeak.com/shortstories/mexicanfisherman.html
  - Doug G
    
    Oh yeah…I have heard that one before…outstanding…what are we chasing anyways? A bright shiny car, the right house in the right neighborhood, kids going to the right school, to get into the right college, to get out with massive debt and not have a job…yeah, that works right…ya know, a dream day is spending time with family and friends (with some work thrown in there)…I firmly believe that it’s about relationships…after all, that’s I think Jesus/God wants from us…Speakin of crap, I used up the last of Autumn’s wonderful coffee this morning and said, “Oh crap, I am out of the good coffee!, need to find some $$ to order some more…peace!
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      Doug, absolutely…good line, “What are we chasing anyways.” You should blog on that title, or I will. We as a culture don’t ask ourselves that. It steps on our own toes, cause the answer is horrid. As for coffee…I’m so wrecked. Hey, just start roasting your own. Seriously. I can school you in how.
      - Doug
        
        Ohhh…roasting my own coffee…sounds fun, but I do enjoy supporting your daughter’s mission. I have been marinating the thoughts on what we are chasing lately…funny thing, in preparing to move back to Colorado I have been selling a bunch of stuff on craigslist, stuff that I was holding on to because it was stuff that seemed valuable for some reason…interesting though, it has felt good to get rid of the stuff.
        
        http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
        
        I adore getting rid of stuff. Hey, get out here and we’ll have a coffee roasting party
http://www.facebook.com/people/Cindy-Lara/1589330270 Cindy Lara

I hope my friends read this. I love it! Stay true to yourself. The world is full of phoney baloney- we need authenticity! Your biggest calling is your family!!! Most Americans have given up that precious freedom.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Amen Cindy. Hey, forward it on to your friends if you think it would give them value.
Aaron

Not offended by one word here Kevin I can echo most all of them, ‘cept I aint’ skinny, and a couple other things too, oh well!

I hope your audience is whittled by the edge of this post to a sharp and effective poking point that stabs an ouchie in the ass of the over-bloated crap-eaters all lining up for the next sale at Junk-You-Don’t-Need-Mart to impress the Cul-de-Sac-Neighbor-Clan.

I’ve been beating this same drum myself, to a tiny and un-engaged audience. Thanks for sharing the Truth, Honestly to Yours.

Aaron Nichols
http://www.weirdforgood.com
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Aaron, OK, I chuckled out loud. That’s quite a line. Excellent. Hey, you are speaking your voice…trying it out for size, and at FAA to do the work. You are on the journey. Keep at it. Keep pushing for counsel and feedback brother. Thanks for letting me be a small part of what’s happening with you.
- http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller
  
  holy cow, that is hilarious!!!!!!!
  
  What a writer you are, Aaron – gonna check out your site –
  as we are also, “Weird For Good” (and “Weird For God” too, for that matter)!
  - Aaron
    
    Teri – THANKS! It wasn’t an accident that Weird for God is part of my message as well “What’s the difference between Good and God?? Zero!”
Brent Franklin

Kevin I Love your open honesty here. I admit my first thought was wow, I can’t believe he put that out there. I pride myself on and very much value complete honesty, openness and sincerity. You hit it here brother. As in all our conversations I found myself thinking that you and I are so much alike, well except for the fixing stuff. I am more the clumsy break then ask for help to fix it.
I forwarded this to my wife with comments that your honesty here really helped to drive home your point, which I totally agree with. There has and will only ever be one perfect man on this planet. And you aren’t him. By you I mean whoever reads this or the one typing it.
Keep it up. Keep reminding us that all we can do is keep working at being better. If not may as well give up and lay down to die. Why strive for settling? One of my favorite quotes actually comes from a fictional character in a novel by Robert Heinlein “You live and learn or you don’t live very long.”
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Brent, as I just replied to an email about this blog, writing it came out naturally, but it wasn’t comfortable to hit publish. Hey, I wasn’t much of a fix it guy till I had to be. With a big home and land and 7 kids, it’s just necessity…I can’t afford the downtime to get somebody to come fix stuff or go down the pass to buy new stuff. I need things to work NOW! Thanks for your encouragement…thanks greatly. That quote is beautiful.
Dr David Powers

I already commented once, but I felt led to comment again. I love some of what I’m reading in these comments and it pains my heart to read others. Kevin, I’m in full support of what you said, glad you were honest enough to say it, and forgive you for the ‘potty talk’ (as if you even need forgiveness for it). It’s honest. I’m a sold-out, born again, full on Christian, but, you know, I use language from time to time that I won’t let my kids use. What you said was honest. I didn’t see it as done for shock value or as an attention grabber. Wow, imagine where we’d be if more Christian men weren’t so afraid to voice their minds and speak their hearts!
If I bash my head or get mad and blurt out a curse word in front of my kids, instead of acting perfect and ranting about what they should and shouldn’t do, I think it’s a great opportunity to teach them something about not being perfect, about living with a sin nature, about how it really hurts to stub a toe on the coffee table.
Anyway, that’s me Living the Barbarian Way in SC!!!
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Living the Barbarian Way. I dig that, and you David. You know that. Yeah…it’s amazing how tamed the average man has become, and even more so, the ‘Christian’ man. Where it’s more important not to offend than to speak plain and saving truth. I actually wrote the potty talk because it’s what honestly came into my head as I wrote and I chose not to censure myself. Again…no big justification, I just did it in faith. I guess the comments speak for it overall, eh? Man, wish you were coming to CO with us next week, I’d relish more time with you.
http://twitter.com/Scottabilly Scott Moore

Kevin,
Though I still like McD’s and a few meaningless TV programs (Psych anyone?), you always make me consider what I’m doing. You make me want to live better. Like some wild, hairy freak in the wilderness (ie, John the Baptist) you call out to all of us, “Repent!”

You’re in good company. In John 6, Jesus doesn’t tell the multitudes to stop eating crap, but He does tell them they need to eat his flesh and drink his blood. “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.” (John 6:66) Obviously, you and I need to be a little more careful about who we offend and why, but if nobody ever gets offended, then you’re probably not having any impact at all. Press on… (Philippians 3:14)
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Earlier today some sweet lady compared me to Oswald Chambers. Here, you compare me to a wild, hairy freak in the wilderness. That’s actually more comfortable I suppose. As I said in the blog…I’m very much a wreck. But I have no patience to mess around much. I surely don’t ever communicate for the purpose of offending. I actually don’t like offending people at all. I’m quite the people pleaser in truth. But…I just don’t like crap. I don’t like people I care about accepting crap and suffering for it.
  
  Thanks for this Scott. What you wrote here inspires me.
Ted Wolboldt

First, I have to remember we are a spiritual beings living in a human (sinful) body. Next, were children of God. Then, husbands/wives, fathers/mothers. All of these are states of being, not doing, we’re human beings, not human doings. I am coming to believe as I pursue this journey, that what we do is not nearly as important as how we do those tasks which move us towards our goals, and what we become as a result of how we do them. If we focus on the spiritual fruit of the Holy Spirit (the natural laws that God has given us) in each of our endeavors, I believe the plates of life’s crap will be fewer and fewer and the feast that God has prepared for us will continue to grow greater and and grander as we become the spiritual beings he intended us to be.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Ted…this my brother, is pure wisdom. A truth I know well…doing vs being. And yet I fail at it each and every day. Maybe that will be the tattoo I’ve always thought of getting. “Be” Eager to see you out here next week.
http://www.andytraub.com Andy Traub

The responses here remind me of Shawshank Redemption’s best line – “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.” Kevin, you need to celebrate the unsubscribes. It’s like having the party poopers leave early. It’s not for them, move on to the people it IS for. The reason this post has received so much response is because it RESONATES in its truth. People respond to ideas that they hate or they are. 99% of these responses are from people who are exactly what you are…a lousy sinner saved by Jesus and doin’ the best we can with a world that hands us crap. The difference is that we use it as fertilizer for improving the world while the suckers just say “thank you” and eat it up.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Dude, we crossed in cyberspace, just sent you an email. That line from Shawshank…thank you. Such a huge gem. Unsubscribes, I’ve had just over 10 at this point I think. Andy, I just read your reply four times over. Thank you for speaking truth. Thanks for your encouragement and support and for being a fellow lousy sinner who is fighting for more than crap!
  - http://www.andytraub.com Andy Traub
    
    Yeah, crap is unavoidable. It’s what we do with crap that makes us different. Andy Andrews’ books have taught me a lot about that. Can’t wait for you to hear our show together. He just oozes wisdom about how to approach life. Seriously, embrace the unsubscribes as outlined here - http://www.andytraub.com/unsubscribe/
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      Great wisdom brother, and great post, just read it. You’re a rockstar in my world, and I want everyone I know to hear what you have to say
- http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller
  
  oh my gosh, Andy, you are freakin’ hilarious…
  
  love this:
  “like having the party poopers leave early”
  and this:
  “The difference is that we use it as fertilizer for improving the world while the suckers just say “thank you” and eat it up.”
  
  Your blog posts & video blogs are huge inspiration for bein’ real, putting it all out there, and pushing thru to turn all the crap into stinky-sweet fertilizer for sure!
  - http://www.andytraub.com Andy Traub
    
    Thanks Teri. God really does give me some smart stuff to say. He gives me analogies all the time. It’s awesome. I could never come up with this stuff without the Holy Spirit. And yes, the Holy Spirit does give me analogies that relate to turning crap into fertilizer. Thanks for your kind words. I’m screwed up just like your husband and it’s awesome.
Archie

Kevin, to be quite honest, no, I don’t read every one of your post. But believe me, it’s not because I don’t want to. It is simply because within our network and circle of good friends, we have SO many great bloggers and winners! And a great deal of them is due to your from the heart efforts. Brother, anything you have to say will be of utmost importance to me, and I can assure you that nothing you say will EVER cause me to hit the unsubscribe button. How’s that?!!!
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Honestly Archie, I think if you unsubscribed…I’d be sorely tempted to close up shop. It would nearly kill me.
Anonymous

Look how well you know yourself~Amen for that! Most of us are a compilation of all of the above, but refuse to open our eyes to it. Nothing worse than a turd-muffin who thinks they are a chocolate chip muffin!
Imagine that…… in-spite of your being human, entwined with a sinful nature…..you still HAVE ACHIEVED GREATNESS! How bout that!
God has opened your eyes to see and you are focusing them quite well. Even if you wanted to you couldn’t settle. It is that unstoppable drive pushing you towards something beautiful, something worthy, something valuable to embrace each and everyday….I know it all to well. The world will readily throw thousands of things at you each day to try to fill the longings, but……I also know it can’t be found in this world…….ONLY through Him!

Wonder how much of your post Teri would agree with????

You ROCK Kevin!
Carolyne
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  There are some folks whose comments and opinions I appreciate, but they aren’t as important to my heart. Your’s Carolyne…means a lot. Thank you for this. Me achieving greatness, is hard to accept. But I’ll admit I’ve been graced to achieve some things that I surely deem as great. They prove God’s mercy (unmerited favor). You are totally right though…the point is that we can be broken wrecks and do and be great!
http://www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com Teri Miller

This SO reminds me of Jamie’s recent post…

http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2011/08/who-told-you.html

As she attests to – people are starving for a place to be real, for someone to own up to the reality of crap we all shovel thru every day, for the confessional-conviction to bring a little light into our dark-skeleton closets.

‘Cause we’re all sinners falling short of the glory of God; if we could be honest, and ditch the pride, we all have regrets, we all have daily failures. And when we speak ‘em & admit it, our eyes open a little more to the light & hope of stepping out of that imprisoning-dark closet of secret crap.

I’m so full of crap too, my love…and ever longing to push away that plate, and feast on something more nourishing.
Learning, growing, trying to dig my way out of these ruts. Wish the new path wasn’t so hard to navigate.
Trusting the new view will be so worth it.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Lover. I’ll never stop trying to grow into something better and more whole. But meanwhile, we can deliver great things, eh? I see you doing it, and I long to as well. We may be crap, but we don’t have to accept or serve it to others, even as we seek our Lord to bring us out of our stink. Thanks for sticking with me and loving me through my stench…
http://www.facebook.com/buckman.randy Randy Buckman

Wow Kevin!! You struck a nerve and 83 COMMENTS! Nice post! I too have been a life long “gay friend”, hanging out with the girls talking about life or whatever rather than sports or fights or whatever. I have no “beer drinkin’ buddies” nor do I even like the taste of beer. If I do drink alcohol it’s probably some neon colorful fruity thing with an umbrella in it. And I’d probably rather go see a chick-flick or some movie that deals with relationships/life than action, sports, etc. And I think that’s one of the reasons why Barb and I have such a great relationship, I’m not trying to live behind some expected or preconceived notion of masculinity.

The candidness here is crazy awesome!!! I wish I knew myself so well. I love the whole ‘behind-the-scenes’ experience or the true look into a person. Especially from a “celebrity” such as your self. I know you probably wouldn’t say it, so ok, pseudo-celebrity? It almost energizes me or something. I don’t really know, but it’s greatly appreciated. Even just watching interviews or bios of people gets me pumped. I think you did a great job on this Kevin!

I realize some people may not have taken this post the same way as myself, but it just makes me remember that saying that goes something
like…”If someone stops being your friend because you told them the truth, or were being yourself, I guess they weren’t your friend anyway.”

I greatly appreciate this Kevin! It’s much needed for many of us. I resonates all throughout me. Not only cause I agree wholeheartedly with the plate of crap our society gobbles up, but because I too, have, and sometimes struggle with, not saying ‘Thank You’ for my plate of crap. I wouldn’t have changed a thing, even the not-so politically correct parts. That’s what makes it real and genuine!

Thank you for being human!

Randy Buckman
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  I think you just called me a ‘gay friend.’ Not sure how I feel about that…but dang, I don’t like beer either and I really enjoy a good chick flick that makes me get misty. But the fact that now we have both cursing and sexual preference topics as a part of this post is getting sketchy. We’ll have to get someone on the topic of politics next.
  
  Man, so grateful you got value from this. Means a ton to me Randy. Yeah, I sure don’t qualify as a celebrity, but am grateful that I get to walk with a lot of people and give what I can. I mainly like that said it ‘energized’ you. That…makes my day.
  
  Great quote. And I was being myself, that’s for sure. It’s what I would say to friends in my living room, so…
  
  Hey, thanks for being human with me…so grateful to be walking with you some Randy.
  - http://www.facebook.com/buckman.randy Randy Buckman
    
    LOL! Ya know what I mean….a guy that can hang out with women and talk about…whatever they are talking about, and actually be engaged and have no ulterior motives behind it. That’s what I meant:) No offense.
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      I’m with you. Women are far more interesting, no doubt. Better to kiss too…
http://www.thebootstrapcoach.com/ Josh Bulloc

Kevin,

I love this post. It reallys helps us see how real you are.

Josh Bulloc
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Josh. And so grateful that who I am didn’t totally run everyone off. Seriously.
Dr David Powers

Now that’s funny where Randy is going. I like participating in sports more with women. It seems like it’s more about the sport and the fun rather than all the testosterone and competition and seeing who has the biggest ****. Don’t get me wrong, I can tear down and compete like a man should sometimes, but these days I enjoy the fun times better. I am now comfortable enough to even say that there are some dudes in my bromance circle without it coming out completely gay.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Bromance. That’s really, really funny.
Pingback: Crap-Eaters Unite! You’re gonna be pissed at me for this one! | weirdforgood
Wendy Isham

I just love that you are human Excellent words from an excellent father, husband and business man. Just what I needed to read today to push me!You rock Kevin!
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Wendy…thank you. Immensely.
Camilla

Thank you Kevin for your honesty. I have been wrestling with the decision to return to my humdrum job or launch out on my own. I want to launch, but I am afraid of failure and not being accepted by those around me. And I am really getting sick of it. I want to be free to be a wife and mom who is dedicated to faith and family and not chained to a timeclock. Thanx for being you. You inspire me.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Oh Camilla, thank you for this. Hey, the key is where you say “I want to be free to be…” Make that “I must..” and “I know it to be my responsibility…” and you’ll have the right fuel to make it happen.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=549113262 Jared Angaza

Brother, I’ve been following this thread since you posted this blog, and it’s great to see so much raw interaction.

I love the fact that you write raw and unadulterated. You don’t write to please the masses; you write what’s on your heart because you believe that doing so might possibly help another soul that shares similar struggles and longs for more. So you dare to make yourself vulnerable, constantly baring your soul, challenging others and yourself, no matter the risk of loosing those governed by the status quo. Because what you want authenticity and true community that thrives on this type of interaction. I think it’s beautiful.

I’ve written often about the beauty of “failure”, which is closely connected to your post here where you list some of the maladies and tendencies you struggle with. I believe these struggles are vital threads in the fabric of our soul. Our experiences and struggles unite us as humans. When we unpack those characteristics, we experience authentic relationships where we are able to connect and grow from each other on the deep level we were created for.

I applaud you for being real, authentic, vulnerable, dedicated, passionate, raw and introspective. And I appreciate the fact that it all stems from a genuine desire to serve humanity and honor our Creator. This is why we’re here.

You are correct. Much of the world is asleep at the wheel, careening through life as if they have no control over it. People need to be awakened, and you are doing that every day through your words, and more importantly, your example.

We all create our own reality, whether we are actively involved or not. Most, are not. They are unwilling participants in life, waiting to see what happens to them next. I choose to live deliberately, purposefully choosing each step. I embrace my maladies, constantly studying them and knowing that the more I understand them, the more that knowledge can benefit others. I am at peace; with life, death and beyond. I have no fear, of anything. I am not, and will never be, content. And nothing is more important to me than relationships; with humanity, and our Creator.

Relationship trumps everything. I don’t put any value on time or money. They are just contrived human coping mechanisms. I use them for what they are, but they will never govern my actions or dominate my thoughts. I have no room at all for worry in my life. It serves no one. I am where I am, and who I am, because I choose this path every second of every day. I am fully aware of who I am, and those I encounter. And I am grateful for all of the experiences, good and bad, that have led me to this enlightenment. In general, I am just grateful, and I love this journey.

Like you, I am dedicated to doing everything in my power to impart this type of inner peace, understanding and love on everyone I come into contact with. This is who God made us to be.

Thank you brother, for being who you are and having the courage and discipline to inspire those longing for a deeper, more meaningful life.

Namaste.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Brother…thank you. Immensely. This line is gold, “We all create our own reality, whether we are actively involved or not.” I’m going to read it to folks on my show in a moment
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=549113262 Jared Angaza

Brother, I’ve been following this thread since you posted
this blog, and it’s great to see so much raw interaction.

I love the fact that you write raw and unadulterated. You
don’t write to please the masses; you write what’s on your heart because you believe
that doing so might possibly help another soul that shares similar struggles
and longs for more. So you dare to make yourself vulnerable, constantly baring
your soul, challenging others and yourself, no matter the risk of loosing those
governed by the status quo. Because what you want authenticity and true
community that thrives on this type of interaction. I think it’s
beautiful.

I’ve written often about the beauty of “failure”,
which is closely connected to your post here where you list some of the maladies
and tendencies you struggle with. I believe these struggles are vital threads
in the fabric of our soul. Our experiences and struggles unite us as humans.
When we unpack those characteristics, we experience authentic relationships
where we are able to connect and grow from each other on the deep level we were
created for.

I applaud you for being real, authentic, vulnerable,
dedicated, passionate, raw and introspective. And I appreciate the fact that it
all stems from a genuine desire to serve humanity and honor our Creator. This
is why we’re here.

You are correct. Much of the world is asleep at the wheel,
careening through life as if they have no control over it. People need to be
awakened, and you are doing that every day through your words, and more
importantly, your example.

We all create our own reality, whether we are actively
involved or not. Most, are not. They are unwilling participants in
life, waiting to see what happens to them next. I choose to live deliberately,
purposefully choosing each step. I embrace my maladies, constantly studying
them and knowing that the more I understand them, the more
that knowledge can benefit others. I am at peace; with life, death
and beyond. I have no fear, of anything. I am not, and will never be, content.
And nothing is more important to me than relationships; with humanity, and our
Creator.

Relationship trumps everything. I don’t put any value on
time or money. They are just contrived human coping mechanisms. I use them for
what they are, but they will never govern my actions or dominate my thoughts. I
have no room at all for worry in my life. It serves no one. I am where I am,
and who I am, because I choose this path every second of every day. I am fully
aware of who I am, and those I encounter. And I am grateful for all of the
experiences, good and bad, that have led me to this enlightenment. In
general, I am just grateful, and I love this journey.

Like you, I am dedicated to doing everything in my power
to impart this type of inner peace, understanding and love on
everyone I come into contact with. This is who God made us to be.

Thank you brother, for being who you are and having the
courage and discipline to inspire those longing for a deeper, more
meaningful life.

Namaste.

(sorry, that was outrageously long)
http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

Friends, I’m discussing this post and your incredible comments on the live show in about 15 minutes: http://bit.ly/o3bcaD
http://www.thefrustratedentrepreneur.com Guy Madison

Great post Kevin. What I love about you is that you have the courage to speak truth rather than what people sometimes want to hear. This is a good thing! You are not concerned about political correctness. That is a goood thing! These are things that make you different…in a good way. For me right now, this is a really difficult process because I am in a really great job (if there is such a thing) working for great people who take really good care of me. Because I am in the insurance business and am a broker, the sky is the limit in my income and I do quite well. I pretty much have the freedom to come and go as I please…so what’s wrong with me!!! The passion inside of me to be self-employed is so strong. Why? Is it pride? Why do I have this “frustrated entrepreneur” inside of me screaming to get out? My life would be so much easier if I just focused on my job and let this dream go! But, my dream just won’t die!

Sometimes I think that the real reason I want to be in business for myself is so that I can be in control of my destiny. I’m a total control freak! Imagine trying to work a job where you are NOT in control. Was this job God’s way of humbling me? Or was this His way of providing for my family and their needs beyond my wildest dreams and that it wasn’t all about me!

A few weeks ago, my 78 year old dad (mostly self-employed his whole life), told me I was an “IDIOT” if I didn’t do everything in my power to hold on to my job! He said, it’s not all about me and that I have a responsibility to take care of my family! That comment really hurt, but I think my mom and dad too often operate with a sense of fear and gloom and doom, especially in light of what they believe is coming down the pike for our country. Maybe I am naive…maybe I’m nuts, but I still think we live in a land of unlimited opportunity!!! Right?

All that to say…I am still searching for that perfect opportunity to be in business! I’m a total serial entrepreneur so quite frankly I don’t care if I am a one man solo entrepreneur or have a whole slew of people working for me. I don’t even mind partners if they are like minded partners. I love doing seminars and public speaking and that has been the focus of my website and it is slowly, but surely coming together! Mainly though, in whatever venue, I’m all about encouragement. That is my mission…to encourage people to be all they were created to be, regardless of their line of work.

Kevin, you are a pioneer and a trailblazer and I feel a kindred spirit with you. Keep up the great posts…I enjoy reading them! You are da man!
Guy Madison
The “UN” Guy
http://www.thefrustratedentrepreneur.com
http://www.thefrustratedentrepreneur.com Guy Madison

Great post Kevin. What I love about you is that you have the courage to speak truth rather than what people sometimes want to hear. This is a good thing! You are not concerned about political correctness. That is a goood thing! These are things that make you different…in a good way. For me right now, this is a really difficult process because I am in a really great job (if there is such a thing) working for great people who take really good care of me. Because I am in the insurance business and am a broker, the sky is the limit in my income and I do quite well. I pretty much have the freedom to come and go as I please…so what’s wrong with me!!! The passion inside of me to be self-employed is so strong. Why? Is it pride? Why do I have this “frustrated entrepreneur” inside of me screaming to get out? My life would be so much easier if I just focused on my job and let this dream go! But, my dream just won’t die!

Sometimes I think that the real reason I want to be in business for myself is so that I can be in control of my destiny. I’m a total control freak! Imagine trying to work a job where you are NOT in control. Was this job God’s way of humbling me? Or was this His way of providing for my family and their needs beyond my wildest dreams and that it wasn’t all about me!

A few weeks ago, my 78 year old dad (mostly self-employed his whole life), told me I was an “IDIOT” if I didn’t do everything in my power to hold on to my job! He said, it’s not all about me and that I have a responsibility to take care of my family! That comment really hurt, but I think my mom and dad too often operate with a sense of fear and gloom and doom, especially in light of what they believe is coming down the pike for our country. Maybe I am naive…maybe I’m nuts, but I still think we live in a land of unlimited opportunity!!! Right?

All that to say…I am still searching for that perfect opportunity to be in business! I’m a total serial entrepreneur so quite frankly I don’t care if I am a one man solo entrepreneur or have a whole slew of people working for me. I don’t even mind partners if they are like minded partners. I love doing seminars and public speaking and that has been the focus of my website and it is slowly, but surely coming together! Mainly though, in whatever venue, I’m all about encouragement. That is my mission…to encourage people to be all they were created to be, regardless of their line of work.

Kevin, you are a pioneer and a trailblazer and I feel a kindred spirit with you. Keep up the great posts…I enjoy reading them! You are da man!
Guy Madison
The “UN” Guy
http://www.thefrustratedentrepreneur.com
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Guy, thanks for this. Thanks so much. Hey, this line is very telling, “My life would be so much easier if I just focused on my job and let this dream go! But, my dream just won’t die!” Brother…we’ve just got to fight the cultural flow towards ‘ease’. It’s such a strong flow! But when did we buy into the thought that our goal in life is ‘easy street.’ Easy doesn’t serve anyone. Not us, not those we love and care for, not those who are destined to be helped by us.
  
  As for being a control freak…I hear you…but think we must discern what is our responsibility to control and what isn’t. I honestly believe it’s my responsibility to be at the helm of being a parent and teacher to my kids, being the protector of my family, being the STEWARD OF MY TIME. I don’t think that’s a luxury, but my duty. If I give my time to an employer, I take it away from my family, friends, and those God would call me to serve. So are you a control freak? Or just rightly feel the weight of your responsibilities that others have given up on?
  
  Brother, thanks so much for your encouragement here. Means so much to me. I’m not sure you need the perfect opportunity. But maybe just more clarity on what you can and should devote yourself to.
  - http://www.thefrustratedentrepreneur.com Guy Madison
    
    Appreciate the good thoughts Kevin…thanks!
Cathy

Wow, Kevin. Just seeing this and what comes to mind is “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Thanks for summing this up for me, about me. I’m scratching and clawing and not giving up on God in uncovering all of my purpose because He is not and has never given up on me. Appreciating (and missing) your honesty even more as I let go of my excuses.
Cathy G.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Hey, I’m a fan of righteous anger/frustration. Beats the heck out of passive complacency…
Ivan Bickett

Kevin! Just finished the show man.

I love you, man! This was a good show. And if someone’s just reading through the blog post and the comments, I recommend you listen to the show to. It’s worth it.

Thanks for being real, Kevin. Thanks for sharing with us out here what God has placed in you and on your heart. I’m a firm believer that the world doesn’t need another imitator or another person just going with the flow. What the world needs, what I need, is being being fully who God made them to be.

Thanks for bringing it.
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Thanks Ivan. Huge thanks. Your testimony here is worth gold for folks giving credence to the message. Love you too brother, we’ve gotta spend time face to face some day…break bread together
  - Ivan Bickett
    
    This makes me smile.
    
    Kevin, FAA/You are at the top of my “conference” list for the up coming year. Not sure what you’re planning, but I’ve got the will and I will FIND a way!
    
    October 7th is quickly approaching. I’m SO FREAKING PUMPED! And SCARED! I have NO CLUE how this is going to work, but I am CONFIDENT I am finally walking in the direction God would like for me to go. I couldn’t be doing this without you and FAA!
    - http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
      
      We’ll be posting info on next years events soon after this one. OK brother, press in hard to FAA and the courses and leadership.
http://twitter.com/christophermust christopher battles

Thank you Kevin. I remember when you first did this podcast. I had it saved in podcast app for a long time and went back to it a few times. I do not remember if I ever commented on this and I wanted to tell you thank you. Your brute honesty is inspiring and is another breath of fresh air.
We can be thankful for the “crap,” but it is not a place to settle and often is. Cliche, but “carpe diam” seems to really sum this up.
Thank you again sir.

K, bye
- http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller
  
  Christopher – great to see this one come back up…and thank you. Brute honesty…I believe in it brother.

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