Or at least give you the best chance at it.

Many folks want to pursue self-employment but don’t have their spouse’s support. As much as I motivate folks to defy all obstacles to self-employment, I learned the hard way never to defy your spouse.

My wife Teri and I are on the beach for a week celebrating our 20th anniversary, but took a break from our ‘break’ to do this week’s Free Agent Academy member’s class together. And for the first time, we invited the general public to listen in.

This is unedited, uncensured and very candid. Below is the live video, or you can listen to or download the audio.

Life’s a beach! (at least for us this week)
Kevin

P.S. I take inquiries for personal self-employment coaching or business consulting about every 90-days, and just posted some new info and opportunities to connect with me here. I’d be honored to discuss YOU…with you:
- http://freeagentacademy.com/work-with-kevin/

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Free Agent Underground Show – “How to get your spouse’s support for self-employment”

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Do you have an idea for a business? Or you’re already in business to some degree, but things aren’t where you’d like them to be?

I’ve got a great resource for you in today.

I am admittedly not…a planner. Making plans feels like being tied down, and I like spontaneity. Each day, I want to decide whatever the heck I feel like doing. And instead of taking time to plan, I’d rather just work on building and launching stuff.

Get the show here:
Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

However, this Friday I leave with my wife Teri for 10-days on the beach to celebrate our 20th Anniversary. We spent a LOT of time planning, and the result is a free flights, a really affordable condo right on the beach and a cheap rental car. Without making a plan, we’d either:

1. Not been able to go,
2. Spent 4X as much money,
   
3. Ended up with a mess of flight times, car availability and place to stay.

It was our planning that made it all possible, affordable and successful. And you would have done the same…for a TRIP. No matter what personality type you are.

So what about your idea or business…becoming or flourishing in self-employment? Do you have a plan? Not a novel of details, but a *Simple, Strategic Plan? Could be a one or two pager.

CAVAET: There are many, who are great at planning! And planning, and planning, and planning…

And they never pull the trigger. Sound familiar?

In today’s Free Agent Underground Show I’ll be live with James Woosley. We’re playing the ‘odd couple’. I tend to pull the trigger with no plan and create chaos and collateral damage. James tends to plan, and plan and plan…and not take action. Though today, he’s on fire…delivering and shipping like a mad man! In his personal life and business. Join us to hear what has changed him…

James was an early member of Free Agent Academy. He developed a business and has been our Professor of the Roadmap Course (his course) for a couple years now. This week, he’s rolling out promotions for his new book, “Conquering the Entrepreneurs Kryptonite.”

Join us to hear how you can utilize simple planning, no matter your personality style, to deliver…and deliver well.

Free Agent Underground Show

• Wednesday, May 8, 2013
• 2pm Mountain Time / 4pm Eastern Time
• Live video and chat here

Plan on it!
Kevin

Today we are launching a Spring 2013 promotion to allow you to ‘audit’ Free Agent Academy, on the cheap.

I’ve posted a quick 4.5 minute video (with a killer view up near my house) that goes over the details, or…keep reading below:

NOTE: I have a special little bonus for the first 10 folks who take advantage of this promo that is NOT mentioned in the video…you’ll have to scroll to the bottom of this message to see it.

DETAILS: When you’re interested in a college, you can walk onto campus and look around. Talk to the students. Even audit a class and meet the Professor.

If you are interested in becoming self-employed, starting something up on the side, or you’re already working on an idea or business and want to grow that baby…

As of today, you can ‘Audit’ Free Agent Academy and see if it’s for you. See if this is the right time for you to start working towards your…freedom.

And truthfully, you get a lot more than a mere ‘audit’…

*Read more about the ‘Aware & Able’ Groups here

Our Academy is $95 per month. This new Audit opportunity is…only $35.  And, you get started for a mere $7 for 7-days. Kick the tires, get to know us (and we get to know you!) and get a personal question answered in the next week’s class. High value, low risk. Not bad, eh?!

If you are contemplating free agency, this is the opportunity for you. Feel it out…see what it takes, hang with other Free Agents and aspiring, and get your feet wet.

If you know you desire self-employment but aren’t sure if this is your time, again…great opportunity to immerse yourself in the right environment to get integrated at your own pace.

Or…if you’re just unsure if we can really help you in Free Agent Academy, here’s a chance to get backstage and see what we’re really about.

Again, this is a special Spring 2013 promotion, not necessarily something we’ll offer longterm. If you’re interested…don’t wait. $35…dinner and movie for two, or a month of investigating your life of freedom…

See more info and enroll here!

BONUS: Here’s a little incentive for the first ten people to register after I hit ‘send’ and post this. On the 8th day (after your 7-day trial), I’ll send you this CD (actual CD, not electronically!) of Nightingale-Conant’s “Best Personal Development Lessons -Celebrating 50 Years of Changing Lives.” It’s a great motivational kick-start, featuring people such as Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Denis Waitley and even…my own Dad, Dan Miller! I was raised on this stuff, and this CD is the best-of-the-best.

Recently a friend and past Free Agent Academy member Jason Garey posted an audio on Facebook and tagged me. I try to at least check in on anything someone directs towards me, so I clicked the link  and an audio immediately started playing. Seeing it was just over 4 minutes, I let it keep going.

The message that followed more than inspired me…it gave me something to ASPIRE to.

It’s an excerpt from a conference talk given by John Fancher, shared by Perry Marshall, both internet marketing experts. It was titled The most amazing, must unusual tribute, and the subject is Walt Whitman.

What you first hear will give you an initial perspective, which will be significantly altered at the end. Here you go:

The entire audio here is 13 minutes long. After my introductory preface, the excerpt we’re discussing is found from 1:45 – 6:20. I then spend a brief 6:40 discussing 7 aspects worthy of focus:

 Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

Now, I can’t add anything to the power of the message. I can however open up seven doors to help you digest and act on it:

1. A Care And A Quest

Did you hear the crux, “He [Walt] saw the stuff that should not be, in these people he loved so deeply and he said ‘I’m going to do everything in my power with all of my talent to change all of this’.”

Walt Whitman’s outrageous goal wasn’t for him, it was for others. People he found a worthy cause in, and therefore…a quest for. One of the deepest needs of humanity is a cause and a quest. We’ll either engage in it through real life, or we’ll engage in a counterfeit via spectatorship: TV, movies, books, video games, gossip, sports and more. We are incapable of denying it.

Until you find someone or something worth devoting yourself to…you’re in a hurt. You’ll stay numb and aimless.

2. Immerse Yourself Daily

He visited those fatally wounded soldiers every day. This is what fueled him. We’re confident he was there for them, but it was just as much for him…as their need was the root of his commitment to succeed. If we aren’t keeping ourselves consistently immersed in what motivates us to aspire, we’re usually found sitting on empty in our efforts to progress.

3. Be Your Own Support

Nobody ever told Walt he was any good. He had no pedigree for success. And his first effort totally failed.

What made his achievement possible then? Believing he could. His art would have died, never come to life, never got honed and refined to be anything worthwhile if he didn’t decide to believe it. My experience is most people who succeed don’t do so cause they have ANYTHING more special than anyone else. They are simply the ones who committed to doing it…anyway. And why do they commit? They have a strong motive. Wounded soldiers, or something else…

3a. God?

Is the “I am the greatest” aspect hard to swallow for you?

Walt utilized a good amount of Christian theology in his work, but his exact stance on an Evangelical God is sketchy. For those of you who are like me who recognize a greater power (Jesus, in my case), this is still 100% relevant. You are called to believe in God through you. The gifts and talents you’ve been given. Regardless of bad decisions you’ve made, or bad events or circumstances you’ve been victimized in and through, it doesn’t take away from you being birthed with inherent gifts and talents and abilities and grandeur. Your greatest enemy is just a world who by far and large will never, EVER encourage and support your right to greatness. They’ll only admit to it, then applaud it, after YOU do it and prove it. It’s just the way our culture works by far and large, unfortunately.

4. Use Whatever You’ve Got

Walt used his poetry. Apparently he thought his greatest skill was writing and communicating. We’ll assume if he had a killer arm he would have set out to become the world’s greatest baseball pitcher. If he had a mind for math and an eye for design he might have been a renowned architect. If he grew up on the coast he might have been a legendary surfer. Whatever he had he would have used as a platform to influence and provide for others.

5. Who Are You

If you are listening or reading, you are my ‘wounded soldiers’. I believe you have greatness in you to change the world with your ideas, passions, burdens. Not a motivational belief, but just a fact, like gravity.

I have firm belief you have a heart. Pumping now in your chest. Just as tangibly, you were not made to be filler on this planet. And those who achieve greatness don’t have anything more than you. They were naive enough to believe, or one of the few who had someone encourage them, or they at least never had anyone tell them they couldn’t, so they believed because unbelief never grew.

Who are you to do it? Who are you NOT to!

6. What Do You Expect?

You will achieve your expectations. YOU WILL. End of story. If you expect to be a mediocre worker at a mediocre company making a mediocre wage and you’ve never been given a reason to believe anything else, then you will absolutely achieve your expectations.

If you do the HUGE, HARD, MONUMENTAL work to rewire your brain so you can expect more, you will rise to that expectation!

However, in truth, you don’t truly have to believe you can. The other relevant motive is finding that care and cause and a quest that causes you to believe you HAVE to. Many a great achievement has been realized, not because one believed they actually could, they merely believed they must.

7. Changing the World

Maybe you don’t feel the motive to change the world. It may be to change one person’s world. Your own. A loved one. Want to be self-employed solely so you can be the master of your weekly work schedule, simply so you can be a more available and engaged spouse or parent? Bravo! Changing one life is…changing the world.

During my many years of walking with people in the pursuit of self-employment, I’ve worked with a lot of single people. In the past week alone, I’ve had personal video-consultations with four singles (members of Free Agent Academy), three never married, one divorced.

For this specific commentary, I’m not including single parents. Some of the ‘tips’ are relevant, some are not (see ‘Pressure’).

At face value, you’d generally expect someone who is single to have a much easier time of pursuing a big endeavor such as becoming self-employed. They have far fewer demands on their time and money, the very things most married-with-family folks blame as primary obstacles!

What I’ve found however, is the lack of pressure is the biggest challenge for singles.

I’m like most people and I tend to produce and deliver best when the consequences for not coming through are high. Not providing for your spouse and children is huge. And even without kids in the picture, the accountability of a spouse usually trumps all.

When you don’t have that accountability and responsibility…it’s much harder to come through and so much easier to delay and coast along.

It’s changed my tune from feeling burdened in building a business while having a wife and 7 children. Maybe it’s God’s perfect design because He knows that without the tremendous pressure, I’d never get anything done!

So if you’re married, take heart…the pressure is probably good. Quit wishing you didn’t have the pressure and responsibility. Use it for fuel.

If you’re single, what can you do to help your self-employment pursuit?

1. Make it exist
It’s just you, so any endeavor can just be a thought or desire or dream. If you want it to happen, you’ve gotta make it exist. To yourself! Write it and paste it to your wall. Instead of thinking, “I’d really like to be self-employed, I think it’s best for me and my future,” write down, “I must and will be self-employed. I’m planning my j-o-b resignation. This IS going to happen!” Even if you don’t know the exact timing… (see #2)

2. Make timelines and deadlines
Get serious with what you want and what your goals are. Then create some timelines and goals. Let others know (see #3 below). You might take it further to create actual deadlines, possibly with consequences (see #4 below).

3. Get accountability
You have nobody to report or respond to, and nobody to comment on your daily existence. You need it. Go find it and get it. It’s paramount. Isolation is the enemy.

4. Create pressure
When it comes down to humanity, it’s just very hard to perform at a high level without pressure to respond to. Consequences. This is why most people don’t take action towards self-employment until their job gets so painful it’s highly detrimental to their lives. Or until they get laid off. It’s why people don’t lose weight until it’s threatening their very lives. I knew a guy who wrote a resignation letter to his boss, gave it to a friend in an addressed, stamped envelope and gave the date for his friend to send it, making the friend promise to send it no matter what, even if he later begged him not to! I know another guy who was very overweight, and he signed up for an out of state marathon a year and a half out. He paid the registration, bought his airline tickets, reserved a hotel room, then announced it to everyone he knew. Loss of money and the shame of public failure are great consequences. Find what works for you and risk it. With all due respect, you DO have less to lose. Let that work for you.

5. Go do stuff
As stated earlier, isolation is a huge enemy. And again, as we’d often assume that in being single there is much more time and opportunity to be out doing many things, it often lends itself to doing…less. You’re more oft left to yourself and nobody and nothing impresses upon you. Lack of exposure to many new and different things leads to lack of ideas and opportunities. So go. Do. Get involved with different things. Invest yourself in endeavors that interest you, it will be a massive key to discovering yourself more fully.

Last…and I didn’t give this a number, because it’s just a good bit more personal and deep than a mere ‘tip’. It’s a personal observation, experience and belief. In being single, I surely won’t assume you’re goal is to NOT be single someday. But for those of you who are desiring a spouse, this journey can be a primary ingredient. Generally people are attracted to someone who has a fairly good grasp on who they are, and what they’re about. So…here’s to you!

Just the statement and thought alone, is daunting and convicting,

“This was his life’s work.”

What will it be? What will I have to show for it? Will it be…anything? At the end, will I have achieved a LIFE’S WORK, or just a…life of work?

Maybe I’m odd, but I look forward to being old and gray. Wise. At peace. Standing before my family and friends with gratitude of a worthy life. I hope when I’m feeble or dead and am talked about, they’ll say good things about me in regards to how I cared for and served them.

And I greatly desire to have my life viewed as…spent well. That I was a good steward of the life given to me.

LIFE’S WORK…

This is not about who I was as a husband, or father, or friend or provider. It’s about…what I did with the exorbitant amount of time I spent working at a vocation to provide income.

We grew up as kids in schools reading history books and required reading lists of people’s LIFE WORK. We didn’t read about a zillion other people who really had no…LIFE’S WORK.

It seems we’ve grown away from the desire to even have a…LIFE’S WORK. It seems we’ve made an unfortunate peace, instead, with a life OF work.

I really don’t mean to diminish the man or woman who toiled away in the factory or doing whatever to provide for their family. There is valor there, and not everyone has equal opportunity.

But to see someone devote the same vocational time to a cause they cared about and mattered in, or build something that endures and can be passed down…is hard to reconcile.

Many will end their working days and when asked what their LIFE’S WORK was, there will be nothing to say. I’ve seen the sadness in those folk’s eyes. We see them degenerate much more quickly.

Even worse to me is to see those who are still in the midst of work, and the glimmer is dying or dead as they realize no result from their long hours beyond the morsel they get to take home at the end of the day.

At the end of all our days, we’ll have all made money, kept a roof overhead, clothes on backs, food on the table and generally provided much more beyond that.

And we’ll have done it through either devotion to a vapor now gone and forgotten, or through our unique and lasting contribution and offering to the world and our own hearts.

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes
 

Painting by Paola Angelotti

My brother Jared always felt a pull to serve and give to the ‘least of these’. Literally, the most downtrodden. From homeless people when he was a kid, giving them every cent he had, to ultimately, prostitutes in Rwanda. Today he lives in Mombasa, Kenya, where he and his wife Ilea have devoted themselves to north Africa at large.

Jared comes from the same Caucasian parents I do, and we were raised together in Kentucky suburbia. Jared is just not at home in America. The poorest people here are wealthy by global standards, with a glut of opportunity and every resource at their fingertips. He has no more desire to serve the American population than he does to donate money to Donald Trump.

I on the other hand, feel specifically called to serve middle and upper class America. How do I justify it?

Well, justifying my perspectives is one of my greatest skills and abilities. And I’d submit we all need to be able to justify what we devote ourselves to. But first…let’s stop. Before even trying to justify my servitude to the most wealthy, affluent and spoiled population on planet Earth, here’s the deal:

I can’t help it. It just is. And THAT…is what I have faith in.

My passion and burden is primarily for the average American couple with kids and a mortgage who is imprisoned to a life of going through the motions, doing the daily grind, and their heart is dying. I want to free and inspire them to go do huge things. Huge meaning…serve others. Whoever they feel called to.

Which means my primary focus is NOT…everyone else. It’s not a different culture, race, victim or cause. Not that I don’t care about others or don’t give of myself elsewhere, I just understand where my heart is.

For better or worse.

My friend Justin Lukasavige feels called to rescue the underdog. Lately he’s devoted himself to The Exodus Road, which rescues girls in Thailand from sex slavery. Justin and his wife Christine have 3 girls and the mission is dear to their heart. But superstar Dave Ramsey devotes himself to helping Americans get out of debt. Those poor people who can have anything they want, at any time, and through their bad choices have gotten themselves into a financial bind. Poor babies…

But he doesn’t have to justify it! It just is, and he’s done a ton of good for humanity. Freed people to do great things.

EVERYONE…literally EVERYONE, needs help. And God surely isn’t telling us we all need to figure out who is in the most need and all serve that one target market.

James 1:27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t cite this Bible verse. Jesus and his disciples went from town to town serving all walks of life; Kings, tax collectors, military leaders, the sick and the powerful. But ‘orphans and widows’ always had a special honor of attention. Is this because it’s more important to serve them?

That doesn’t make sense, or time wouldn’t have been wasted serving all the others. It seems to relate more to…in whoever or wherever you feel called to, also make care to tend to these. My take on it at least.

And on that note, gotta give a call out to my amazing wife Teri (3rd from the right) who just returned from a week’s service to the teen girls at the Manuelito Navajo Children’s Home. A place for abandoned, abused or neglected children. Right here in the good ole, U.S. of A. I’m so proud and admiring of you my Teri (and Kristy & Kelley!).

I’m grateful for the professional sports chaplains that jet around the country in style and watch the best sports spectacles on earth for a living. Even while a fellow seminary buddy of their’s may be in the African bush trying to reach cannibals for Christ. That sports chaplain may lead a millionaire sports star to devoting his wealth to save 50 African villages!

Who do you feel called to serve?

Again, there should be, for your own peace of mind, a viable justification to why you want to devote yourself to a target market. One piece of my own puzzle is I believe that in freeing the average American, I can help spawn a tidal wave of service globally. The treasure of provision and resources is here in America, I want to help release it!

But then there’s also the aspect of…it just is. Who I feel called to doesn’t seem quite as grand and valiant as some others. Honestly, I just have to accept it. It would be false of me to devote myself elsewhere due to mine or anyone else’s perspective.

I doubt when I get to heaven, God will say, “Well Kevin, you meant well. But you’d have scored more points with me by devoting yourself to the blind, legless underwater basket weavers of Indonesia.”

I think He has a specific purpose for me right where I feel drawn.

So…who do you feel called to influence and serve and free and equip and inspire?

It feels harsh at first, but then, oh so hopeful…

Check out this writing from Frederick Buechner, one of my fave authors, it’s an excerpt from his book, ‘The Alphabet of Grace’:

“I say that feet are very religious too. I say that if you want to know who you are, if you more than academically interested in that particular mystery, you could do a lot worse than look to your feet for an answer. Introspection in the long run doesn’t get you very far because every time you draw back to look at yourself, you are seeing everything except for the part that drew back, and when you draw back to look at the part that drew back to look at yourself, you see again everything except for what you are really looking for. And so on. Since the possibilities for drawing back seem to be infinite, you are, in your quest to see yourself whole, doomed always to see infinitely less than what there will always remain to see. Thus, when you wake up in the morning, called by God to be a self again, if you want to know who you are, watch your feet. Because where your feet take you, that is who you are.”

He’s simply saying if we want to understand who and why we are, where and whoever we are today…just look at where our feet go.

This got me to thinking about…

• What we eat
• How much or less physical activity we get
• What we take in through your eyeballs
• Where we go, and where we don’t go
• What we do and don’t stand for and allow
• What we speak through our mouths
• What environments we subject ourselves to and submerse ourselves in
• Who we spend time with
• What we read
• What we listen to and let into our ears
• What our hands do

And again…just where are feet go throughout every day.

For myself, I quickly wrote down these primary areas in my life which I desire success and health in:

1. Money
2. Faith
3. Relationships
4. Work/Vocation
5. Purpose
6. Joy
7. Peace
8. Health

Then asked myself, “Where do my feet take me, most days, in each of these areas?” Am I taking steps toward health, or…illness? Or just maintaining a status quo? I hate status quo…

DAILY is a huge key here. As an lifelong athlete, I know well that we benefit much more from daily deposits than from weekly. 20-minutes a day of physical exertion dramatically wins out over being sedentary for 6 days and then doing one 2:20 minute exertion.

Most of you here are reading because you want to address #4 Work/Vocation, and through that, #5 Purpose in and with your life, and in truth…use those as primary vehicles to give you freedom to gain health in all the other areas! Which of course is my main premise, and why I’m sitting here typing.

Gaining health in any area here, is a PROCESS. Not an event. Joining the gym is an event that makes that doesn’t change a thing. It’s going there every day for many months…the PROCESS…that does it, eh?

We talked about this at length in this week’s Free Agent Underground Show, and there were a few comments of worth posted:

You are a sum of your habits. That was a big aha for me a few years ago. Makes me think of Andy Stanley’s book The Principle of the Path, “Your direction — not intentions — determine your destination in life.”
- Jonathan Milligan, www.bloggingyourpassion.com

I found my feet at Bible Study, instead of the Bar. Our feet can take us places that our mind doesn’t want to go.
- Aaron Nichols, www.weirdforgood.com

I gotta point my feet in the direction that I want to go. It doesn’t make sense to think I want to take the necessary steps to improve and then point my feet in the opposite direction.
- Janet Myers, http://kenyareal.org

So on one hand it feels harsh to accept that where I am today is almost exclusively a result of where I’ve pointed my feet. What steps I’ve taken. I’m stoked about all the positives, but the negatives…hurt.

But on the other hand, it feels pretty hopeful and viable to realize I can dramatically address those negatives, simply by pointing my feet in a better direction. Today. Tomorrow. The next day. It will take a while, but a few steps in the right direction, every day…I can do that.

You?!

Photo by RyanBSchultz

Is there really, honestly a chance you could live outside of the norm and have a successful business of your own, doing something you truly care about and serving people? With time flexibility and immense freedom? Even…getting wealthy amidst it?

Of course you expect me to say yes and to pummel you with inspiration, motivation, exhortation and support from many pithy platitudes and quotes, right?

My experience is those things won’t matter much unless you are already committed or engaged to the process. The people who get value from such things are the people reading it as confirmation to what they’re already doing, not instigation for what they’ wish they’d start working towards.

If you are looking for the fuel and a trigger to change your life in a big way, you’ll have to come to grips with the truth you are…aiming for the fence.

You’re aiming for the fence while surrounded by friends, family members, coworkers and just about everyone you know, who are…not. They don’t even conceive of the fence. They’ve accepted a life of guaranteed first base hits. To mention you not only want to contemplate aiming for the fence, but you are committed to it, is just beyond their personal understanding, reason, logic and belief. They don’t believe it for themselves, so they can’t for you.

And it’s so, so hard to believe for yourself, something no one else can believe for themselves, or you either. I’m just commiserating with you here.

Hank Aaron is well known as a baseball player that was King of the home run hit. He owned the fence. And yeah, he also struck out more than about anyone. But he is immortalized for when he DID make it. And he made it a ton.

I’m fairly certain that for all of his life, he was alone in believing he could be King of the home run. Nobody believed in him, till he actually achieve it. And that’s not belief, it’s just recognizing a truth. Somebody along the way had to believe in what had not happened yet. And I bet that one person was Hank.

Can you handle this in your life? Really? It’s hard. To believe in what hasn’t happened. To believe in what’s unreasonable (in our cultures eyes).

I’ve never even seen this goofy movie. But somebody sent this clip to me, and I dig it.

It defines two things I believe are true:

1. You’ve got to believe in slim chances, otherwise all you ever believe in is…what’s easy and ‘reasonable’. And nothing of true, eternal value is easy and reasonable.
2. Often the spoils go to those who don’t know any better than to believe they can do it.

Could you take such slim odds and instead of responding in fear and disbelief at the size of the challenge, respond in faith and expectation at the fact there is…A CHANCE! That paradigm and perspective trumps, well…about anything.

Here’s to not knowing any better, eh?

Photo by Trev Stair

A spouse, children, friends and a job that affords a nice car, house and amenities. The American Dream, right? Oh, plus you go to church.

So if you have this reality, you should be good. Right again?

But…what if you’re not content with this great reality? Maybe you’re being a little selfish? Being in the top percentage of wealth and fortune globally just isn’t enough?

Well, call me selfish then. And if it doesn’t feel like enough for you, let me see if I can help you justify your heart.

And it’s not enough for me. If that’s the extent of my life and what I teach my kids to do, it actually feels dramatically selfish, and a good bit incestuous.

I mean, is our life’s calling to care for ourselves? ”But what about our children? Isn’t it a worthy life to devote to raising children?”

Tempting to say yes, but I just can’t reconcile it. If I make sure all my needs are met, then make sure all my kid’s needs are met, and raise them to do the same, it’s like the modern day church never stepping foot outside the church walls. They just stay inside, teach themselves, support themselves, care for themselves and whoever else is inside.

Isn’t the point to strengthen ourselves so we can go serve those in need? And by ‘those in need’, I mean…every and any human on earth. Everyone has a need, and we all have unique offerings and inclinations to specifically serve some aspect of humanity.

“Well, then if I raise my kids up well, they can go serve humanity and I’ll have done my part, right?”

Not really. They will tend to replicate what you did. So if you devoted 100% to your family and didn’t serve outside of that, they probably will too. If you’re not devoting to a bigger story than just inside your home, why will they do differently?

This all leads then, to the question of…what should our lives include other than work and family?

The answer would be:

• Purpose.
• Calling.
• Mission.
• Cause.

Choose the vernacular that speaks to you. But by definition, they are all fulfilled in serving others. Our heads and hearts are wired to be needed by others in a life-serving, meaningful way. If your work just provides income, then you’re missing out here, eh?

So what do you do? How do you scratch this innate itch and longing?

For full disclosure, I don’t know exactly! I have plenty of hard tales to share in my own journey, and my wife Teri has grappled a lot with a big family and her feelings of discontent.

But I can offer…first, have faith in your desire for a bigger vision of your life. Second…find your cause. Find the one that fits your heart and abilities. Just cause your friend goes to Africa and feeds starving children doesn’t mean you should. You may be called to serve the wealthy, the criminal, the abused, the uninspired, the ill or just the confused. Which covers…all walks of life.

Should your bigger purpose be fulfilled within your work? Maybe. If you have small children, is it still time to devote myself elsewhere? Maybe not.

What do you think? Do you feel freer and more encouraged and supported to embrace a bigger vision? Or did I piss you off by saying work and family isn’t enough?

Join me for today’s Free Agent Underground and we’ll unpack this more, plus I’ll share how this topic has unfolded in the lives of myself, my wife Teri and our seven kids. It’s not all easy answers and calm waters, I’ll say that much here…

Free Agent Underground Show

• Wednesday, March 27, 2013
• 2pm Mountain Time / 4pm Easter Time

Live video and chat here at showtime

I’ll post the show replay here later today.

In yesterdays Free Agent Underground Show I spent 45 minutes with a live audience discussing the main reason they were pursuing self-employment. What was the predominant driving factor?

Was it to discover and engage in their Purpose, or just to have Freedom?

The answer? Almost 100% said Freedom. Yes, they want to discover and fully engage in their Purpose long term, but the primary motivator initially is just to get Free from the j-o-b and the grind so they can…

…and this is what bubbled to the surface.

• Level 1 Purpose is Lifestyle Freedom & Design
• Level 2 Purpose is the literal Actions and Engagement of their Vocation, or in this case…their business

I feel this is a great clarity. People want a grand, overarching Purpose to our work and life at large. But initially, they want to achieve Purpose in their day to day Lifestyle Design.

And I fully understand and can attest to this myself, I just haven’t really defined it this way. I’ve long said I’d do work I didn’t like if it was my own, as opposed to anything…that put me under and employer. Meaning…I’d run a business doing just about anything as long as it was mine and I retained control and authority over the responsibilities and decisions of my life. Today is a normal example. My oldest daughter is flying to “Nana & Papa’s” house in Tennessee for Spring Break, (Yes, any of you at the 48 Days Coaching with Excellence conference will get to meet her!). So, I stayed home to see her off and hang with little ones while my wife took her to the airport.

This fulfilled my 1st level Purpose of being a fully invested and present Husband and Daddy. This is a heavy piece of my ‘Level 1′ Purpose I protect at all costs.

And my live audience yesterday attested to the same desire.

The Level 2 Purpose is where I normally direct the bulk of my attention. I want to spend my life working at what I believe I was made for, and I want to get as many others working in their giftings and passions. I honestly believe it’s what makes people and the world, more healthy and whole. On that note, let me share 3 current resources I’ve posted on Facebook in the last 24 hours:

Starting the habit of doing uninspired work in one’s 20s yields compounding regrets every decade thereafter.

And much like smoking, the younger you start and the longer you do it, the harder it is to quit, the more damage it does, and the more helpless it makes you feel.
- shared by Steve Pavlina

Incredible, profound and very irreverent post at The Onion (sensitive folks should avoid):
- Find The Thing You’re Most Passionate About, Then Do It On Nights And Weekends For The Rest Of Your Life

So what does all this mean? You can take a deep breath from the pressure of finding that ONE BIG THING to devote yourself to for the rest of your life…and to begin with, just find SOMETHING to get paid for, so you can get free of the cubicle. The grind. The commute. The boss. The _____________ [fill in your own stuff].

And as I’ve experienced with so many people, including myself, just getting going with something, often leads you ultimately TO that big Level 2 Purpose.

If you relate to this perspective, we can now simply look at you, your skills, abilities, talents and experience and look at the low-hanging fruit of “what product or service can you bring to the marketplace?”

It may not be what you want to do for life, but…if it gets you free for your Level 1 Purpose…we’ve got you started, eh?!

So…what could you do. That’s the question. You’ll need others to help you see yourself fully. Let me know if I can help…

Yesterday was Sunday and I stayed home all day. In my house, on my land with my best friends (my family). No pressures and no stress. We made green eggs and pancakes (gluten free) in honor of St. Patricks Day. We had a big snowball fight in the Colorado sun and snow (my 3 year old Nekoda pictured, ready for warfare). We read about food in Genesis then discussed the ‘blood type diet’ we are adopting this week. We made paper airplanes and launched them into the ceiling fan, first one to get a rip wins. We played a word game (Upwords) and watched a meaningful movie (Finding Forrester).

It was a good day.

Today is Monday. And…I’m staying home again. My wife is taking some time for herself and I’m hanging with the kids. I’m doing a little work, but typing this out now from our big dining room table while the kids eat lunch and the fire is warming us from the corner. I found my kids playing out in the woods and joined them (following Nekoda’s footsteps in the picture below). Went for a run in the sun while they napped. The point isn’t me not having to work, I probably put in as many hours as most. But I get to decide when and how I work.

I crave the peace and stability of this lifestyle and greatly fear giving control of my life to anyone else who may jeopardize it. This is one of my primary reasons for being self-employed.

At face value, it would be more peaceful and stabile to travel cross country in a passenger bus, eh? Cheaper too. But you must give up a good portion of your freedoms and desires. You can’t speed up to get their faster, or slow down to appreciate something along the way. You can’t blast the music, or have silence. You must trust the driver 100% because you have zero control of the driving. If there’s a breakdown, you can’t take any action to repair the problem.

Not many people take the bus.

I see people every day however, striving to find peace and stability, while not having much control over their lives. They have values and beliefs and passions they long to be true to and they’re fighting and stressing to achieve them, while the majority of their week is spent adhering to a life they can’t control.

Work.

The j-o-b.

Traditional employment.

Being…an employee.

Riding the bus…

Not all job setups are bad, I hear good stories here and there. But they’re the exception, not the rule. We know…the statistics don’t lie.

Most people long to have control over their daily lives. No fear of being ‘let go’ or getting a bad review or working feverishly to meet an unreasonable deadline. Dealing with office politics and so many hard relationships where you can’t be real in order to ‘protect the job.’

That’s not peaceful. That’s not stabile.

Is this you?

It’s possible to change it. You really CAN achieve the deep peace and stability for your life which you desire. So what’s between where you are now and where you want to be?

Most likely, almost certainly…a time of less peace and stability. And thus the reason few people ever make a change from the norm.

The key is getting help and going after the goal with wisdom and efficiency to minimize the stress between here and there. Something I have personally…seldom done well. But I’m getting better.

How do you get wisdom and efficiency to make the journey and transition from where you are now, to a better place, less daunting? Five things:

1. Experienced counsel
2. Personal counsel
3. Customized strategy
4. Commitment
5. Routine

Not to minimize anyone, myself included, but the first one is not hard to find. The most brilliant minds in business are only a click or book or podcast away. We generally miss the rest and have the perspective that going from traditional employment to self-employment is some action adventure movie or akin to the big bang theory where a tornado rips through a salvage yard and out the other end comes a Boeing 747 in flight with martinis being served.

It’s nothing as glamorous or dangerous as those.

Just a journey. From one place to a better.

NOT…on a bus.

Are you craving more peace and stability for your life?

*Pictured: As I’m typing this, Nekoda woke from his nap, came in and climbed into my lap and said, “Will you take a picture of me?” I pulled up Photobooth on my Mac and he said, “Do the fishy one”. I’d never seen it, an effect that puts ‘fishies’ around your head. Cuteness. Freedom to be his Daddy when he wakes from his nap is worth…everything to me.

“The problem with self-employment is…self. We want to own our work, not go it alone.”

If we study people who are successful enough that we’d pretty much all know them, it’s very, very hard to find one who made it by themselves. When we dig in, we find a prominent team of people who were part of the endeavor, even if the one we know got most of the recognition.

Conversely, the vast majority of people, most of us, who desire to achieve something worthy…go after it alone. Think back for yourself, how many things have you tried all by yourself? And how did it turn out?

OK, truthfully…this topic is not one of my favorites. I LIKE going it alone. I’m impatient, opinionated, enjoy solitude and get frustrated dealing with others opinions and ideas and perspectives. This is my nature. But at 42 years old I can simply look back at my life and see where I failed, I went it alone. Where I succeeded, I had support. That’s it. Period. So today I have to seek out a team. All in all, I’ll still admit it’s not easy for me, and I often veer into isolation. It’s just been proven in my life however, I’m not an exception. I can’t skip over what works. And going it alone, does NOT work.

We have elite runners stay at our house most weekends during Spring through Fall for high altitude training (we live at 9,300 feet above sea level). We’ve had marathoners and milers, very different disciplines. But all of them do two things the same:

1. They run twice a day, first thing in the morning and late afternoon,
2. They don’t eat before their morning run.

Those are just two habits among many. But imagine if I wanted to pursue elite running, and decided…”I think I’ll eat a big breakfast, then just do one big workout midday.”

Why would I do differently, when the folks who are at the level I want to get to…are all doing the same thing? Doesn’t make sense eh?

When we look at people who have achieved success in sports, work, business, personal development, fitness, finance or any area we’d desire great results in…we find a solid support group they are part of. Nearly 100% across the board. And culturally, we’re generally drawn to this. We just usually get away from it after formal school ends and we go off on our own. And…stay alone from then on in most of our endeavors.

We often try to cobble together some semblance of a group from wherever we land, which is often a job in some company. Where we’re generally paired with and surrounded by people we never choose to be with, and who often don’t share our same values, beliefs, morals, goals and interests. We just happen to share the same office fulfilling some task for an employer.

That’s not intentional and comparable to groups of people who come together to help each other achieve success.

One of my favorite ‘support groups’ of history is the Inklings. This was an informal literary group that met in homes or pubs or various places to discuss and debate aspects of their shared writing advocacy. The successes that came out of this group or profound, and include C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien.

I’m also fascinated by animals in the wild…especially on the African savanna. They ALL live and work in groups. And what do predators do with their prey? Try to single them out so they are vulnerable. For me it’s such a great analogy of spiritual life. The Enemy tries to isolate us and keep us alone. He knows we are then vulnerable and…weak. We’ll fail.

So back to us. If you can relate, and know you have desires for different/more/better but you’re doing it alone without a cohesive, invested group of others to give you the strength that successful people have, what do you do?

Well, you go after it and find them. If you want to run a marathon, you go join a running club. If you want to overcome an addiction you join a support group.

Want to start a side business or pursue self-employment fully? Want to pursue purpose and freedom in your life? I can place you with a team of six others pursuing free agency, immediately – check it out, we’ve still got spots left: Get a personal consultation with me, then join a 7-member small group

How about you? Are you going it alone? Or have a testimony about success in some area alongside others who bolstered your efforts?

Seven people are going to almost double their money. Check out this video for the lowdown, then the details are outlined below:

I’m offering seven Free Agent Academy subscribers a 6-month membership package for the price of membership only, and including $529.95 in equivalent Cash savings. Here’s the breakdown of bonuses:

$95: Extra month of membership
In taking the 6-months of Free Agent Academy membership, your 7th month is free!

$250: Introductory consultation with me
Upon registration we’ll immediately schedule a consultation to happen via video conference (or phone if that’s your only option) with you and me. You’ll complete a lengthy questionnaire before our meeting so I’ll be primed to dive in with you and ascertain how we can get you hitting the ground running in the proper Free Agent Academy groups and courses that drive you towards your free agent desires.

$150: Group coaching session
I’ll be placing you in a private group in Free Agent Academy with the other six participants taking advantage of this special offer. 30-days from the day we fill the slots, after I’ve had the personal consultation with each of you, we’ll do a group coaching session, by video (again, you can use phone if that’s your only option). I’ll facilitate each of you sharing your status, getting feedback from the group and myself, and getting you all plugged in together. This will launch your Action Group within FAA.

$10: Official Free Agent Academy Nalgene bottle
Just the coolest water bottle ever!

$24.95 Born To Win book
From my buddy Tom Ziglar, co-written with his Dad Zig (Zig’s last book, as he recently passed away!)

= $529.95 in cash bonuses, or savings…however you want to phrase it.

How much is the offer? Free Agent Academy membership is $95 per month, see the details on our Enroll Page. This offer is simply the cost of 6-months of Free Agent Academy membership = $570.

Everything else, all $529.95, is included. FREE.

Again, if you were to solely became a member…you’d pay this anyway over the course of six months. And this includes month 7 for free!

OK, the first 7 people to register claim the offer. Go!

REGISTER ME NOW

Eager to walk closely with 7 of you!

Kevin

The Small Print:

• Action Groups are a new feature of Free Agent Academy. You are paired with 5 to 10 other members and meet twice a month via Google Hang Out on live video. The support and accountability is powerful for your success.
• Paying 6-months at a time is a great accountability factor in itself. This keeps you from merely ‘trying’ and motivates you to dig in!

This is an Accelerated Free Agent Coaching Package
& Personal Retreat rolled into one:

DEVELOP YOUR FREE AGENT
MAP AND TIMELINE

(what’s this really, truly gonna take?)

TWO COUPLES ONLY: Two Dates To Choose From (first come, first serve):
April 18-21, 2013 (Thursday to Sunday)
May 16-19, 2013 (Thursday to Sunday) 

Coaching Retreat Schedule (full details further below)

• Immediately – Session 1: ‘Context and Aware & Able’
• Pre-Retreat – Session 2: ‘Work & Biz’
• Thursday – Session 3: ‘Free Agency in Marriage’
• Friday – Session 4a: ‘Expert Counsel’
• Friday – Session 4b: ‘Debrief’
• Fri/Sat – Session 5: ‘Next Steps’
• Post-Retreat – Session 6: ‘Map & Action Steps’

It’s one thing to pursue Purpose in your work and life, and Self-Employment…on your own. Doing it when you’re married, and even more so with children…adds a mountain of questions and complexities. I know. Through 20 years of marriage and 7 children, we’ve built multiple businesses. Some failed, some succeeded. We went $100,000 into debt, and we became debt free. We lived in a bank-repo modular home, and built an oversized, custom home in the mountains. We’ve public schooled, private schooled and homeschooled. We nearly killed our marriage…then resurrected it. You can check out some candid blogs and interviews here:

• She traveled to hell and back with me (blog)
• Marriage, Self-Employment and a Free Agent Anniversary (podcast)
• Self-Employment & Marriage (radio interview)

So if you’re a couple desiring successful free agency, or desiring more-successful free agency (you’re already in it!), let’s take all the questions and doubts and ideas and challenges and overwhelmedness…and get some clarity. Make a plan. Get real. We know nearly everything that DOESN’T work. And maybe not all, but a lot…of what does!

I’m looking for two couples, on separate dates, to join me on an extended weekend. Here’s a 6-minute video overview, then more details below:

I also read through this and you can listen or download here:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

We’ve been offering coaching package to couples for many years, as they are my personal target market. Who I understand and connect with most. The majority of our members in Free Agent Academy are in their 30s to 50s, with kids. The core of the Coaching Package is taking the methodology of Free Agent Academy and drastically accelerate the depth and progress by working one-on-one.

However, it’s usually done remotely. Never before have we done the bulk of it face to face. So now, for the fee we’ve always charged for the coaching package itself, I’m inviting you to come out to Colorado and spend a few days with us, and including 6-Months of membership in Free Agent Academy, AND…a 4-Day/3 Night (option of a 4th night) stay in a cabin right next to the cabin I office in! Along with the coaching and retreat we’ll have time to commune and build a relationship as well.

Just so you don’t miss it, the cabin and membership is on us.

It’s a chance for a majestic mountain getaway and in-depth, accelerated ‘Free Agent’ Life & Business Coaching in one fell swoop. This is for you if any of these apply:

• You’re wanting more freedom in your lives than traditional employment allows,
• You’re needing to generate extra income on the side,
• You’re ready be proactive instead of reactive with your lives and get intentional toward where and who you want to be,
• You’re desiring to planning your work around your lifestyle values, instead of the other way around,
• One of you wants to pursue free agency and the other…has concerns. And you must be together on a plan!
• You have an idea you feel strongly about, but want to know if it’s viable, and how to pursue it without risking the farm,
• You already have a business, but you don’t have consistency, sustainability and ‘freedom’ yet. And want it!

Two Dates To Choose From (first come, first serve):
April 18-21, 2013 (Thursday to Sunday)
May 16-19, 2013 (Thursday to Sunday)

I have my office in a cabin (left side in the above pic) in Green Mountain Falls, Colorado, halfway up the pass between Colorado Springs and where I live in Woodland Park, CO. The cabin is owned by my buddy Scott Stearman, a renowned  sculptor of bronze memorials. Right across the stream from this cabin is his studio (pictured here to the right) where the magic happens!

20 feet to the right of my office cabin is a little red cabin (pictured on the right, behind the tree in the pic above). It’s a charming vacation rental, also owned by Scott. It all sits in a gorgeous valley at the base of Pikes Peak. The heart of the Rockies. Green Mountain Falls has more western history in it than a museum. It’s one of my favorite places in the world. I love running the streets past the pond and gazeebo, through the neighborhoods of eclectic, artsy mountain homes, and along the ridge where my favorite trail is…passing over multiple water falls. Here’s a few pics below, but type ‘Green Mountain Falls, CO’ into a search engine and you’ll see all the info and pics you want.

I can bend your ear for hours on the activities and beauty that abounds here. It’s why I picked it from all places on Planet Earth to call home. But I’m going to jump to the details of this offer, as it’s an incredible deal and only open for two couples to take advantage of.

Following are 6-Sessions where we utilize the courses and curriculum of Free Agent Academy, customized for where you are and what you most need. Our goal is to take youfrom where you are today and accelerate you a year ahead in progress…over a few days.

Session 1: ‘Context and Aware & Able’

We have our first session via video using Skype or Google Hang Out. I’ll have some  initial info from you beforehand and this will be a chance to ask more questions and get a good pulse on your status. Then we’ll review our ‘Aware & Able’ group focal points and discern your greatest areas of need and attention.

Session 2: ‘Work & Biz’

Prior to coming out to Colorado, we’ll focus on the core ‘Work & Biz’ courses in Free Agent Academy, where you need to be focused and any additional resources needed. You’ll fall into one of these three areas:

1. You’re seeking an Idea to pursue,
2. You have an Idea that needs to be refined and built for launch,
3. You’re already in business and you need substantial growth

Session 3: ‘Free Agency in Marriage’

I grew up in a home where my Dad never worked for anyone else. And he went through a slew of businesses. Trials and Triumphs galore. It was a wild ride. Teri and I have been married 20 years and been through the best and worst of self-employment, financial duress, chaos, 7 kids, cross country moves and building a big, custom home. We’re experts in what NOT to do. And have a good bit to offer on what DOES work. So our focus will be on how you both view the positives and negatives of free agency and how to be in union.

This is Thursday when you arrive. You’ll check in to your cabin and relax till dinner. Then you’ll meet up with me and my Bride…Teri. We’ll treat you to a long, slow dinner, with one of two options:

1. At the Miller Homestead with our whole family – we love to host people. You’ll see our land and custom built home (straw bales!), meet our crew and experience full-fledged free agent lifestyle. We’ll banish the kids after dinner for time to talk more intimately.
2. Or at one of our quaint nearby Woodland Park restaurants, if you’d rather have a bit more peaceful experience. Our kids are awesome, but I know when we want a ‘retreat’ we aren’t looking to be with anyone’s kids…so we understand if you’d rather this option.

Session 4a: ‘Expert Counsel’

We have the privilege of proximity to some of the best ‘free agent’ minds I’ve ever met. Depending on my discerning of your greatest need, and the expert’s availability, we’ll spend a couple hours with one of the following men, who will have been briefed on you prior to our gathering:

• Gary Barkalow – Planet Earth’s premier guide in Personal Calling. Gary runs The Noble Heart and speaks to people around the world on Calling. He is a dear friend of mine and our Professor of Calling in Free Agent Academy.
• Scott and/or Hermine Stearman – As mentioned before, Scott is a very successful artist Scott Stearman who has taken a passion and turned it into a business. His wife Hermine recently left a long, lucrative career with Hewlett Packard to pursue her heart, get a counseling license and now has her own practice, Life In Transition Coaching and Counseling. It was a massive decision and she’s well versed in the transition from a ‘lifetime career’ to free agency.
• Justin Lukasavige – Justin left a ‘dream job’ as an airline pilot to be more available to his family. He started a financial coaching business from scratch, then developed a business coaching coaches, then onto launch CoachRadio.TV and today dabbles in these areas but has devoted the majority of his time to the Exodus Road ministry which saves young girls in southeast Asia out of sex slavery.

All of these amazing people are prolific free agents who’ve experienced the challenges and triumphs of free agency, and now guide others.

This happens at 9:30am on Friday

Session 4b: ‘Debrief’

This is a ‘light’ session following ‘Expert Counsel’. We’ll drive or walk over to the historic ‘Pantry’ in Green Mountain Falls for a long, slow lunch to discuss further. Depending on their schedule, our ‘expert’ may or may not join us.

Session 5: ‘Next Steps’

The best guidance in the world is useless if you don’t have a clear plan to leave and take action on. The culmination of discovering and discerning you and your desires, goals and convictions is then…what needs to happen now. We’ll give due attention to ‘risk drivers’ and any primary obstacles to you progressing right away. Our primary focus will then be on the next 90-days, with a view of the next 12-months.

This session can happen one of two times. Friday afternoon so you’re Saturday is completely free to rest and ruminate, or go explore what Colorado has to offer. OR…Saturday morning, 9:30am till lunch. Your choice.

Sunday

• Free morning. Sleep in. Stay in your jammies. Or go for a hike. Or drive off for an adventure. It’s your time.
• This is fly home day, or if you’d like to arrange to stay and extra night…we can talk.

Session 6: ‘Map & Action Steps’

We’ll reconvene at 30-Days out for a complete audit and discern primary needs and direction. Where do we need to shore things up or make revisions or additions? And again…next, immediate steps.

Unlimited email access to me is part of the deal for the entire duration of this package, so the in between time will not be devoid of us interacting.

THE BIG PACKAGE

$2,600 Regular fee for the 6-Session Coaching Package

$300 Our experts consulting fee

$570 6-month membership in Free Agent Academy ($95 per month times six)

$450 4 days and 3 nights in the Free Agent Retreat Cabin in Green Mountain Falls, CO (normally only available for a full week’s rental)

$3,920 Total

$2,900 - Special Offer

(The cabin and membership is on us. No cost to you. All you’re paying for are the regular coaching fees.)

Choose now from these two dates (first come, first serve):

We’ll take April 18-21, 2013:
REGISTER NOW

We’ll take May 16-19, 2013
REGISTER NOW

Following is a questionnaire and inquiry form. If you don’t see it, just click here and jump to the page.

FAQ

This isn’t a question, but a thread I’m hearing from most folks…what they want to know at the core is…’What’s this (free agency) really, truly…gonna take? Can we do it in the context of our lives or must we go through complete hell first?”

• Great question. We’ll hit the core of this for you and your specific life.

What exactly is the schedule?

• Immediately – Session 1: ‘Context and Aware & Able’
• Pre-Retreat – Session 2: ‘Work & Biz’
• Thursday – Session 3: ‘Free Agency in Marriage’
• Friday – Session 4a: ‘Expert Counsel’
• Friday – Session 4b: ‘Debrief’
• Fri/Sat – Session 5: ‘Next Steps’
• Post-Retreat – Session 6: ‘Map & Action Steps’

Is this only if you already have a business or an idea to build on and grow?

• We’ll definitely do that if it fits, but no…if you merely know you want free agency but feel clueless as to there to start and lack faith you can really do it…this is the place for you. I spent many years growing businesses, today I spend more time helping people begin the journey to free agency.

“What if we come out only to find…we aren’t ready to commit to free agency?”

• Great question. My answer is twofold:

1. You’ll have an incredibly valuable, life planning process and experience,
2. Better to get clear on that now instead of wasting a year or two and who knows how much money and heartache trying to make something happen, eh?

Is this just for us alone, or with another couple?

• The intent is for couples alone, just us and you. But the value of relationships and connecting with others is powerful. If you would desire to be with another couple, let me know. We’ll talk…and it could result in a lesser cost for you.

Overall couples have been excited at the prospect of getting the gnitty gritty on free agent life and the pursuit and reality…and insight into what will be most effective, efficient and viable for them.

Other Informative Details

*All meals other than those noted above are on your own. You can cook at the cabin or choose from many nearby restaurants, from Woodland Park to Manitou Springs and Old Colorado City, or even downtown Colorado Springs

Location: Green Mountain Falls, South Central, Colorado, USA (15 mintues from Colorado Springs)

Getting Here: I prefer flying into Colorado Springs (COS). It’s less than 30 minutes away and is a small airport where you never have to wait! You can usually get cheaper flights into Denver, but it’s 100 miles away. Your call.

Accommodations:  Cabin, 2 Bedrooms + Convertible bed(s), 1 Bath (Sleeps 2-6)

This is a simple mountain cabin located next to a beautiful year round mountain stream at the base of Pikes Peak. The road to the summit is only 2 miles to the east. There is a trail system within walking distance that traverses along the ridge overlooking town, complete with two waterfall crossings.

One mile up the road is the sleepy little village of Green Mountain Falls with it’s lake and gazebo. “The Pantry” restaurant is renowned for breakfast and lunch, and the “Blue Moose Tavern” is open nightly. For true fine dining, 1/2 mile from the cabin is the Black Bear Restaurant.

7 Miles up highway 24 is Woodland Park with all the conveniences you will need. Wal-Mart, restaurants, fast food, and shopping are just a few minutes away from the cabin. Pikes Peak , Garden of the gods, Seven Falls, and Cave of the Winds are all within a 10-15 minute drive from this sleepy little cabin.

5 miles back down Ute Pass is the little town of Manitou Springs. Taste the water from the mineral springs while gift shopping. The arcade and Patsy’s candy will offer something for everyone.

The little mining towns of Cripple Creek and Victor (where folks come from far and wide to gamble) are 45 minutes west. 11 mile canyon, out of Lake George is a nice drive along a mountain river with lots of places for a picnic.

Cabin Features

• Non Smoking Only
• Minimum Age Limit For Renters
• Pets Not Allowed
• Bedrooms
  • 2 Bedrooms, Sleeps 6, Beds for 2-6
  • Convertible bed(s)
  • King size beds (1), Queen size Beds (1), Sleep Sofa or Futons (1)
• Bathrooms
  • 1 Bathroom
• Kitchen & Dining
  • Microwave
  • Refrigerator
  • Kitchen
  • Cooking Utensils
• Amenities
  • Wood Stove
  • Linens Provided
• Entertainment
  • Satellite / Cable
  • WiFi
• Communications
  • Telephone
  • Free Long Distance
• Outdoor Features
  • Deck / Patio
  • Outdoor Grill
• Location & View
  • Mountain View : View of Pikes Peak
  • Water View : Stream view
• Activities
  • Hiking
  • Mountain Biking
  • Golf
  • Rock Climbing
  • Fishing
  • Cycling
  • Sight Seeing
  • Shopping
  • Horseback Riding
  • Wildlife Viewing

I’ve just realized a truth about myself. I’m a violent man. When a trial presents itself in my life, I’m naturally inclined to choose violence. Instead of…going the distance.

There’s a movie called ‘Lawless’ about some bootlegging brothers during the prohibition-era. Lots of shooting and wounding. A quote that happens fairly early on from the older brother to the younger, during a quip about vengeance is this, “It is not the violence that sets a man apart. It is the distance he is willing to go.”

I paused the movie, as I’m prone to do (drives my family crazy, though didn’t/wouldn’t watch this with them) and wrote it down. It hit me and at the time I didn’t know why. It kept itching at me…

The itch got bigger this morning as I was corresponding with a guy who knows what he’d like to do vocationally and business wise. He knows it would fulfill him and be a glorious intersection of his heart and work and life. And thus I know…to find him actually doing it would result in finding him being more whole. More filled with his glory and the ability to pour glory out into others. I just don’t believe that’s a luxury and optional. I think it’s necessary. But he’ll have to commit to a long road…

So what I found out about violence is, it’s force, and force is an exertion of strength or power. Most of the time when faced with something hard, angering, shameful, frustrating, lacking or hurtful, I resort to my strength or power (often just my perceived perspective of power). I grit my teeth and endure, or rail against, or wall up or any number of things.

Instead of…going the distance. That’s always harder.

Violence…exerting my own strength and power is natural. And I can endure a lot. Even worse, I think I like aspects of it. My desire for adventure and adrenaline may actually feed this inclination. It’s great for the battlefield, not so good for the rest of life.

Going the distance is the big sigh of resignation…to step back. Sit down. Let go. Ask for help. Admit feelings and fears. And commit to the long road of healing, restoration, discovery and building something better.

And to be realistic, as I write I’m thinking about literal areas in my life:

• My marriage
• My faith in and following of and dependence in Christ
• My parenting
• My finances
• My home
• My work
• My lifestyle design at large

The other day I wrote down a list of things I want to progress in. Things I want BETTER for. And they included most of those areas above.

Now I have to discern what distances I must commit to in order to achieve any levels of success.

If I won’t commit to the distance, no matter what, then I’m choosing the violence of staying where I am. A place I’m not at peace with settling for.

I wrote in a blog last week that our communications must include a big idea, nuts & bolts, entertainment and hope. So I’m looking at this and wondering what the hope is. It doesn’t feel so hopeful. It mainly feels…hard.

For me, I have to project a year or five years down the road to what my reality will be if I choose to stay put…in the violence. And what it would be if I commit and go the distance. Ugh. Easier and natural to just settle for 2nd best, justify that my current mediocrity isn’t so bad, then medicate that lie by reading about and watching others go the distance, eh?

What about you? Do you…will you…choose violence and stay put…or commit to go the distance and move away from and out of…the violence?

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

Photo by Jon Rawlinson

You didn’t choose your name, your parents did.
You didn’t choose the upbringing that equipped or crippled you and created your good or bad self-image.
You may not have chosen your course in life. Someone or circumstances did.
Today you are…where you are. You can’t flip a switch and change your life reality overnight, but…

You can change your name.

Literally and/or figuratively. We tend to live up to ‘our name’.

My one blood brother’s name was Jared Miller. He was born into a caucasian body here in the U.S.A. But it never fit him. He found his heart and home and wife in Africa (his wife Ilea was also born stateside, but likewise found her heart and home in Africa where they met). To fully adopt their heart-heritage, they legally changed their last name to Angaza, which in Swahili means “to bring light”. [Check them out at www.JaredAngaza.com]

Now, you may not desire to change your literal name. While I would dig having a more unique name, I’ve no plans to change what I go by. But I’ve been on a journey this year (which I’m smack-dab in the middle of today) toward changing how I see myself, and from that…who I am, how I am and what I do.

There are some big, core aspects of my life circumstances, character and behavior I want changed. On a bit lessor level, but relevant for this topic…I’m an endurance junkie. I raced BMX from age 10-16, then at age 18 left home before my senior graduation to become a full-time cyclist (10-speeds back then!). I raced at the elite level till age 32, then took up running. So at age 41 I found myself with lungs like the elk whose trails I run on, but 6′ and dipping below 155lbs. I went from being referred to as strong and fit to…slim. A nice way of saying “skinny”. I don’t want that to be my name. So on July 17th of 2012 I began weight lifting. I’m now 6-months into lifting 6-days a week. And guess what, I’m no longer skinny. It’s fairly remarkable.

I’ve changed my name from ‘skinny’ to…well…my family says ‘buff’. My 8 year old boy Ian said when I was in the middle of a workout, “Daddy, you look like the Hulk!” I shifted 100% of the kid’s inheritance to him later that afternoon…

Again, this is on a lower level than other areas I’m committed to ‘changing my name’ in. But it’s worthy. I’m changing my ‘name’ in regards to my physical stature, and it’s for life. My little kids will never know ‘skinny Daddy’.

*Pictured…I couldn’t quit get myself to post a before-and-after pic, but here’s me modeling a t-shirt that benefits The Exodus Road, run by my friends the Parkers and Justin Lukasavige; “A non-profit organization that fights modern day slavery through covert investigations. Our coalition of operatives work together to gather evidence and conduct rescues for those trapped in sexual slavery.” Check them out here. On the note of ‘changing your name,’ check out Justin’s blog today where he is changing his name in a big way, “Why I’ve Never Accepted Donations, And Why I’m Starting.”

Now, I’m not throwing out some pithy message of “You can be who and what you want to be, simply name it and claim it!” No. Changing our reality in any respect is ridiculously hard. Which is why few do it. We generally resign ourselves to the hand we’re dealt.

But changing our name is a big start. What we call ourselves, what we believe about ourselves, how we see ourselves. It’s a destination which redirects our vision. And we can become what we can see. What we see with our mind’s eye. What we can believe for the future.

Interestingly, I’ve had this blog in mind to write since I watched ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ a few nights ago. Prior to this scene, Wolverine’s girl was murdered and he had a new vision for himself (revenge). In this scene they are making Wolverine’s body indestructible (I bolded some sections):

Dr. Frost: When it starts, whatever the reason is that you’re doing this, focus on that. Maybe it will help.
Wolverine: Trust me. I’ve been through worse.
Dr. Frost: No you haven’t.
William Stryker: (to Wolverine) We’re gonna make you indestructible. But first, we’re gonna have to destroy you. You remember what we were looking for in Africa?
Wolverine: I remember.
William Stryker: Well, I found it, it helped us to create a metal compound so strong, that you’ll be able to withstand virtually anything. It’s called adamantium. I can’t put Victor down myself, Logan, to kill him, you’ll have to embrace the other side, become the animal.
Wolverine: Let’s do this.
William Stryker: Oh, I almost forgot. (brings out Wolverine’s old dog tags.)
Wolverine: I want new ones.
William Stryker: What do you want them to say?
Wolverine: Wolverine.

His original dog tags had his literal name ‘Logan’ on them. He changed his name to reflect a direction he wanted to go. The scene inspired me.

This morning I pull up my computer to write and found my wife had written a blog where she is in essence…giving herself a new name. It’s an incredibly profound post, I highly recommend you check it out:
“Unremarkable Me”

Anyone else desiring a new name for a better destination?

Most of you read blogs. But do you know WHY you read the ones you do and don’t read so many others? Many of you also write blogs yourself, and you realize not many folks are reading what you write.

So what does it take for a blog to capture your attention, keep you reading and get shared? This is just as relevant for a podcast too.

Today I bring you great wisdom as a student, not the teacher. Your teacher today is Roy H. Williams. “The Wizard of Ads” he’s known as. I’ve been reading his weekly blog (yep, he only writes one per week) for as long as I can remember. I generally find two out of five to be a bit obtuse, and the other three, flat-out brilliant.

The following bullet points come from his blog titled, “Look Through These Lenses To See a Better Outcome.” You can read it here (and I recommend signing up for his Monday Morning Memo). This comes from a study on non-fiction books and what four attributes the successful ones had. Here you go:

1. A Big Idea

• Concept
• Insight
• Information

2. Nuts & Bolts

• How To
• Step-by-Step
• Instructions
• Examples

3. Entertainment

• Writing style
• Anecdotes
• Adventure
• Surprise

4. Hope

• Visualized Happiness
• Promise
• Inspiration

Now I will be so bold as to add one more. Not because I’m wiser, but a study on successful non-fiction books doesn’t fully apply for the newbie. We also must address:

5. Credibility
The can nail the four points above and still fail if you haven’t established your credibility. How can you do this?

• Overcoming – your personal success story
• Testimonials – from people you’ve helped
• Endorsements – people who already have credibility, recommending you
• Stating and Selling It – the hardest way to do it, but if you have the personal relations skills, sales ability, charisma and even the looks…you can sometimes gain credibility coming from ground zero.

My personal experience is, and you can think for yourself regarding people you read, generally someone will be stronger in an area or two which may compensate for weakness in other areas. But most will hit all areas to a decent degree.

So my counsel is this – be honest in reviewing your own blogs or podcasts and see where you’re weak amongst the four attributes, and use them as a guide to write your next one!

Also see which ones you are most natural at and leverage them. Shine them even brighter.

For myself, I think I tend to best hit #1 “A Big Idea” and #4 “Hope”. I do a bit less on #2 “Nuts & Bolts” and don’t pay much attention to #3 “Entertainment”. So in my next blog I’ll try to juggle or mime or something…

Do you see where you’re weak and strong? Does it ring a bell with why you like certain bloggers and podcasters?

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

Photo By PaddyMurphy

There are few people in business or even life these days, who are really good at relating to people. Relating to people well is the key to selling yourself. If you can’t sell yourself, you can’t influence anyone or sell them a product or service you believe in.

We’ve become a culture of ‘order takers’. Walk into most any retail outlet and you have people waiting around to take your order. They have no concept of helping you and serving you and actually making a sale.

If you’re looking to be self-employed, you’re going to have to be able to relate to people well. Not be a ‘sales person’ per se. We don’t look at introverts and extroverts and say, “Well introverts, too bad for you. You aren’t outgoing enough so you won’t be able to sell yourself and you’ll never get a date or get married.”

No, we all must sell ourselves.

So in yesterday’s show we sat down with personal relations expert Pierce Marrs. Pierce is a friend of mine and a friend and neighbor to my parents, Dan & Joanne Miller of 48 Days fame. Many folks hire Pierce (www.MarrsCoaching.com) to help them with their personal relations skills. Whether that means selling a product or service better, getting a promotion or yes…even getting a date.

We’re fortunate to have him in Free Agent Academy as our Professor of Sales. He’s truly amazing at what he does. And many of you will recognize his voice from many voiceovers, such as with the Andy Andrews ‘In The Loop’ podcast.

We spent most of the time talking about the first and biggest key of relating to people well…building rapport. And the beauty here is building rapport is simply being interested in others and asking them questions.

Did you hear? It’s not getting your pitch down. It’s not TELLING people what you know or what your product or service is or telling them ANYTHING!

“When I go in to see someone, my goal is to be the most interested person in the world in them!”
Pierce Marrs

So instead of going in to sell, we’re to go in and care. We’re to be a student of our prospect and simply show immense care for them.

Now doesn’t that beat the hell out of ‘trying to sell somebody something!’

And an important note, you’re not being interested for the purpose of reeling them in to your pitch or offering. What if you question someone enough to find that what you have to offer is in fact NOT what they need? Folks, telling someone what you have isn’t best for them is a trust building goldmine. You’ll often find them trying to sell YOU that they do need it! Or they’ll be so impressed you’ll receive referrals and recommendations from them for folks who truly DO need what you have to offer.

OK, enough from me. I’m just parroting Pierce, so let’s hear straight from the guru:

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Photo by Joelk75

Really? I’m going to be arrogant enough to try and cite ONE THING for success. Yep. And I truly believe you’ll agree, because deep down we all know it. Just like we know the only way we’ll ever lose weight is to burn more calories than we eat. That’s it. End of story. And it somewhat angers me to face it, as paint by numbers is easier than a blank canvas, eh? But only one adds up to much…

We as a culture adore ‘Steps to Success’; “7 Steps to this” and the “3 Keys to that” and the “5 Laws for whatever”. I’m not going to diss these altogether because they have their place, but I absolutely believe the truth is…they are completely UPSIDE DOWN.

How? See if this rings true…

We voraciously devour all these Steps and Keys and Laws with the expectation, belief and hope that:

If we do these things, we will get what we want.

Right? And admittedly, the purveyors of these Steps and Keys and Laws (lets just call them ‘SKiLs’) generally dole them out with this intended methodology. I’m admittedly one of these folks who has not only digested many ‘SKiLs’, but created and sent them out as well.

But folks, it just doesn’t add up. It’s not working. Which is fine for the self-help industry; 1) The masses want the ‘SKiLs’, 2) they never get satiated because the ‘SKiLs’ seldom effect lasting change 3) so we just come up with more and more and more and folks keep buying, and buying and buying them…

It’s similar with the insatiable demand for new weight loss strategies. There’s a new one promoted every day, even though the way we succeed is the EXACT SAME as it was 100 years ago.

SO THEN…if this is upside-down:

If we do these things (the ‘SKiLs’) , we will get what we want.

Then this is right-side up:

When we want something enough, we will do these things (the ‘SKiLs’).

Until your WANT is big enough, no ‘SKiLs’ will matter much.

The fields of the personal development and self-help industries continue to regurgitate the same ‘fertilizer’ in a continually changing array of packages and presentations. But the reality is…success happens when this fertilizer finds a seed which has finally decided to open up and put roots down. Then sure…the fertilizer can help the seed. But the key is getting that sucker of a seed to open up put roots down to grow in the first place! Until then, no amount of fertilizer in any way, shape or form is going to make the seed decide to grow.

So what’s the ONLY SUCCESS TIP THAT MATTERS?

Get your WANT big enough so you’ll put roots into the soil.

When you are fully committed, then you can put all the ‘SKiLs’ into play. Though sadly for those of us purveyors and seekers of:

• Steps
• Keys
• Laws

…success is not the result of more knowledge, it’s simply due to a big enough WANT and ensuing commitment. Then, and only then…will you naturally DO those things necessary to succeed.

Thus, wouldn’t the correct perspective on all the ‘SKiLs’ then be:

Once people WANT something enough and commit to it, these are the traits we find them naturally falling into…as a result of their WANT.

Doesn’t this save a lot of time? Listing the “7 Steps to this” and the “3 Keys to that” and the “5 Laws for whatever” is fine, but it’s merely reporting on the results experienced after a commitment is made and action is taken to achieve that WANT.

Which leaves us with:

How do you get your want big enough?

A broad tactic doesn’t exist. It’s personal and individual and mysterious and…your decision. You’ll want to when or if…you decide to want to. You’ll make the decision proactively or reactively. Or…you’ll simply stay where you are and enjoy reading a thousand more lists of ‘SKiLs’ reporting to the end of your days…

Hard isn’t it? It’s not comfortable to put down the:

• Self-help book
• Magazine
• Blog
• Podcast
• Social media feed
• etc…

…and just sit down to contemplate what we really want. What we really want ENOUGH to commit to, no matter what. Knowing until we radically commit to the want, everything else is fertilizer falling on a closed seed.

Matthew 13: ³ Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. ⁴ And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. ⁵ Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. ⁶ But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. ⁷ And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. ⁸ But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. ⁹ He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” – NKJV

Sometimes we forget what the point of self-employment is. Even I get caught up in the pursuit of ‘work that is purposeful’ and glorifying having a business which is the ultimate culmination of someone’s calling and great service to humanity!

But at the core, we primarily pursue self-employment…simply when a traditional j-o-b will never be enough:

• Not enough flexibility
• Not enough meaning
• Not enough joy
• Not enough wealth
• Not enough challenge
• Not enough security
• Not enough sanity
• Not enough efficiency
• Not enough satisfaction
• Not enough control
• Not enough ____________ [you fill in some blanks]

Due to all those ‘not enoughs’, I would be self-employed doing just about anything as long as it keeps me from a regular j-o-b. I’d even clean toilets! Which…is exactly what my friend and Free Agent Academy member Wendy Staas is doing. She left the corporate world because it was killing her soul with a bevy of ‘not enoughs’, joined FAA to pursue self-employment, and ended up starting a cleaning business. She admittedly hates cleaning toilets. But, it’s better than the fancy corporate gig that came with all the ‘not enoughs’. Not only is she able to be full-time Mommy to her baby girl, but it wasn’t until she became self-employed that she even entertained HAVING a child in the first place.

The combo of becoming self-employed and having a child is what led her to discovering what she really desires to pursue, and in the last year she’s launched:

1. www.naturalbirthevangelist.com
2. www.empoweredmothers.net

As these two parallel endeavors grow, she’s seeing light at the end of the potty tunnel and will ultimately relinquish her cleaning biz.

If I was banned from running a school for self-employment, I’d just jump to the next lowest hanging fruit opportunity that would enable me to remain self-employed and avoid all the ‘not enoughs’ for my life. I’d revive my Small Business Marketing Consulting business, or get serious about turning out Aspen wood furniture (pictured are a couple beds I’ve made for our family). I own a portable wood mill and could make a go of it milling and selling natural lumber. My wife has birthed 7 children (3 home births), home schools them and cooks gluten/dairy/soy/meat/corn free meals. She’s also gorgeous. I’m sure I could create a business around all of that! Then there are the weekly ideas I have for unfulfilled needs in the marketplace I could follow up on…

I’m grateful I’ve found work I’m passionate about and is wrapped around my personal calling, and at the core I desire the same for others. But my point here is…it’s secondary to just being self-employed in order to combat the ‘not enoughs’.

Don’t get stalled out looking for the perfect idea and business and ‘embodiment of my passions’. Sure, let’s find as good a fit as possible, as quick as possible, for your talents, skills, abilities, giftings, cares and experience. But if your primary need is to escape the shackles of the j-o-b, FAST…then let’s just get you doing SOMETHING you can get paid for.

Anyone up for cleaning toilets? What would you/could you do to make a buck on your own and address the ‘not enoughs’ in your life?

We talk about motivation like it’s some kind of fertilizer for success. Sprinkle on a daily dose and like air freshener, it will somehow make things better. Till it fades off and we need more. Truthfully however, most so-called ‘motivation’ is simply speaking to positive thoughts and hope.

The purpose of true motivation is to establish:
mo·tive – something (as a need or desire) that causes a person to act

As you read blogs/articles/book, watch videos and listen to podcasts on personal and business development, are you just seeking to fertilize hope with no real intent to act, or are you seriously seeking motive? This might help you ditch some of the fodder you take in and get more serious with your time and input.

We generally take action for one of two (sometimes both) reasons:

1. Faith – that you can, should and will because you believe…truly believe…and must do it!
2. Fear – that you must, or else!

When we act in faith, we have more margin to do it right and make the best decisions. When we act in fear it’s generally due to outside forces inflicting themselves upon us and we must act quickly and without margin to make the best decision.

1. What ‘better’ in your life do you want or need?
2. What content will help you establish true motive?
3. If today you are in any circumstance that is not what you truly desire and believe is best, which motive-option will you choose, faith or fear?

Kevin

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It’s the God’s-honest truth, but let me clarify. My point here isn’t that being self-employed garners your more friends, but rather…having more friends is a crucial ingredient to becoming successfully self-employed.

I’m using the term ‘friends’ a tad liberally. It doesn’t have to be bosom buddies, but it does need to be far closer and connected than Facebook ‘friends’ or Linkedin contacts.

If you survey successful entrepreneurs, solopreneurs or just anyone who has something they’re doing to earn some income on the side, the vast majority of the time you’ll find them having an above average amount of involvement, association and connectivity with other people.

Why?

It goes back to one of my favorite quotes regarding self-employment:

“The biggest problem with self-employment is…self. The point is to own your work, not go it alone.”

I like the quote for two reason. One…I coined it. Two, I lived it. It’s my primary Achilles heel. All my past business trials, and most of my current weak areas, are due to relying on myself.

We need connection with other kindred free agent spirits for four primary reasons:

1. Feedback
2. Inspiration & Encouragement
3. Help & Support
4. Opportunities

I live in a world of free agents. Most of my closest friends and acquaintances are self-employed and are ultra-connected to other people. Much more than I am actually. I’m the guy who goes MIA the most. Sure, I have a large family with my 7 kids that keeps me hopping, but I also just like my solitude. And sometimes I miss out as a result of not showing up or pursuing others.

Which brings up a great point, this is not about being Mr. or Mrs. Extrovert. It IS about connecting with others in an invested relationship.

Example:
A great friend of mine is Justin Lukasavige of CoachRadio.TV. We’ve been friends for a decade or so and live about 4 miles from each other. On paper, he’s an introvert and I’m an extrovert. But he knows the value of connecting with people, and he’s amazing at it. He’s constantly contacting people he sees value in and encouraging them and helping in any way he can. He SHOWS UP a lot socially. And through doing this, it’s ridiculous how many opportunities he gets to be part of immensely cool endeavors. Often it starts with a Twitter or Facebook contact, or a blog comment. He’s classic for doing a quick phone call or accepting a coffee or lunch (that I’d often decline) and then BOOM…he ends up being asked to be a part of something. And whenever he’s in need, he has people show up in a heartbeat.

Case in point…yesterday we spent a couple hours at his office and here I am talking about him. From this, chances are some people will look him up, hire him for coaching, ask him for help or to be a part of something.

THUS…how do you go about generating all these ‘friends’ and connectivity? Go BE a friend. Anytime you find someone you’d like to be connected with (yes, for your own benefit), connect with them. Some sample ideas of things I like doing, or having done to me:

• Facebook – ‘friend’ people, or ‘Like’ their fan page, and leave a word of encouragement and testimony. Repost things they share or do when appropriate (meaning, it authentically gave you value, don’t just be a groupie).
• Twitter – follow people and retweet their stuff when it’s relevant (to all those who know I don’t use Twitter much, I know, I know…)
• Blogs – Leave comments that testify to how their message spoke to you. Thank them. Don’t try to one-up them with your own brilliance.
• Reviews or Testimonies – You can leave reviews to iTunes podcasts or books on Amazon, these are biggies. And if you do, let the person know, as those things don’t send the author any notice. If you publicly testify to someone online or even to an audience in person, and you know it’s not likely the person will every know about it, contact them and let them know. Not in an “I want credit” way, but in a “I felt someone(s) would benefit from what you do or have to say” way.
• Inquire – What if you want to connect with someone who doesn’t really have a presence in those above aspects? Just contact them and tell them what you see in them and that you’d be honored to connect to ask for their counsel. Buy them coffee or lunch. Find out what they are pursuing right now and send them a helpful resource or contact.

Again…be a friend. Be their ADVOCATE. Reciprocity is more powerful than money or bribery.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t post two famous quotes from Zig Ziglar. Quotes people give a lot of lip service too, but few really make a priority and take action on:

• “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”
• “If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

QUESTIONS for you
- I’m going to be addressing anything you offer in the Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2013 Free Agent Underground Show at 4pm MT / 6pm ET, which will then be posted for the FAU Podcast in iTunes

• Got a story of how connecting with someone led to an opportunity or fruition for your free agency?
• Have a primary way you connect with folks that I didn’t cover here?
• Sounds good but you don’t understand how this can fit you or your circumstances?

Post in the comments so I can cover it in the show

*Photo: Three friends who have added MUCH to my own free agent success: James Garner (Brand guru), Justin Lukasavige (Marketing guru), George Amequito (Graphics guru)

I’m giving an answer at the bottom, and I believe it will give some clarity to an area which gets a lot of attention, but very little action, due to a very vague notion of what freedom really is and how it tangibly relates to us.

Scroll right to the bottom if you desire to see what I’ve offered, and…if you agree. If you’re not sure you agree, read what’s in between here and there, then…comment. Let me (and all the readers) hear your take.

At our core, we want freedom.

free·dom
- the absence of constraint in choice or action

As children…freedom is what we are born desiring. As we age we often find ourselves desiring levels of captivity and imprisonment, but this is merely a result of pains and fears we’ve incurred. It doesn’t thwart the truth of our soul’s natural inclination and desire for…freedom. Anyone who has had children or spent time around them must admit, we were born desiring and EXPECTING freedom. 90% of my small children’s crying is a direct result of constraint against their choice or action. The other 10% is from a real or imagined physical pain.

This truth plays out in every epic story and movie. Good vs Evil…fighting for freedom from things that constrain or threaten to constrain us.

Today, are you free?

The answer is no. We’d like to think so, as we live in a ‘free’ culture and assume freedom of choice. Which by far-and-large is in fact true, though there are always exceptions. I found out when I bought land that I’m not in fact…free. I can’t build anything I want. Anything erected must pass stringent code. This pissed my off greatly. Not that I was going to build a house out of dead bodies or anything (we went with straw bales instead, much easier to get and better insulation), but it just angered me to not be…free. Free to do as I chose.

But most of our lack of freedom is self-imposed. We bought the stuff we now owe on, we hired ourselves out to the company, we initially agreed to the lifestyle…

Or wait. Was it mostly self-imposed?

As a young kid, were you ‘free’ not to go to college? In growing up in homes of traditionally employed people working at things they care nothing about other than making a buck, were you ‘free’ to pursue a passion or work at something you truly cared about? If you were raised in a city and neighborhood and all your experience is within there, were you free to seek out new places and different lifestyles?

You can debate this, but in truth…it’s relevant to contemplate the fact that you have not been free to partake of and participate in many, many things. Things you may long for today, consciously or subconsciously.

Examples: On a soft note, my children have not been free to eat meat aside from fish, simply because those who provide their food do not buy it. They’ve not been free to watch TV and be ingrained in the mainstream media their friends enjoy, cause their parents don’t pipe it into the house. Many would say they’re deprived! On a hard note, there are children right here in our county who are not free to be safe from abuse, whether being on the receiving end, or just having to witness it and have the acceptance and reality of it hardwired into their psyche. Their freedoms in security and safety and peace have been taken from them.

We could write ad nauseum in this vein of what freedoms we were constrained from us in our upbringings and past. This is a worthy exercise for every individual.

But I believe it will prove out: We were born and bred FOR freedom. But we weren’t born INTO freedom. Not entirely. It’s impossible.

Today you’re where you are, much as a result of a path you were set out on with much not of your choosing. Again, not entirely.

So the question is, what do you want and need freedom from? What choices would you make or actions would you take if you were in fact…free? Free from the realities of your past and your present?

What you come out with will then provide the answer to the ‘for’ aspect of freedom. Freedom from ______, for ______.

My favorite term for what we truly want freedom ‘for’ is…our convictions:

con·vic·tion
- a strong persuasion or belief
- a fixed or firmly held belief, opinion, etc.

Freedom to just be lazy and unproductive and needless doesn’t last long and generally leads to moral decay. In our matured desires for freedom we desire meaning and purpose and to be needed.

This then provides us with the headline categories for our answers of what we want:

Freedom FROM what constrains us (some chosen, some forced), FOR our convictions.

What then constrains you?

What are your convictions?

Thanks for your feedback and counsel.

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

In yesterday’s live show we discussed these two blog posts that garnered so much attention.

If you missed reading them, or better yet…reading all the comments, click the links below. Or listen to the show here where we expounded and took comments from the live audience.

Additionally, I talked about what we can learn about WHY these two posts got so much attention. Not just quick comments either, but lengthy, insightful sharings. It’s relevant for anyone trying to gain participation from an audience…and grow an audience.

 Jan. 11 – I admit it, I’m a fraud

63 COMMENTS AND 5 REACTIONS

 Jan. 15 – Astounding survey on what we most want (health), what’s it mean?

29 COMMENTS AND 2 REACTIONS

Right-click to download

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Free Agent Underground Show – “Frauds, health and what gets people to participate”

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Literally, I don’t end this with a huge “AHA!” I’m not really sure exactly what it means…and am asking for your input. Here’s what happened:

Yesterday I posted a quick question on Facebook:

If you had to pick ONE ‘wish’ today, which would it be:

A) Physically Fit – strong, healthy, energized, attractive VS overweight, frequent illness and not feeling or looking so well
B) Great car – the car you’d most like to drive VS an older car, high miles, frequent fixes needed, doesn’t look so impressive
C) Great house – the house you’d most like to live in VS older house, outdated interior, inefficient

The results were immediate and concrete, over 60 folks commented. You can go see the thread here.
If you’re not a ‘friend’ with me, I’d be honored if you’d hit ‘Add Friend’. I’m not doing a ton of posting at the Free Agent Academy fan page. Just too hard to separate life and work!

What were the results? Almost 100% of the responses were for ‘A’. If folks had to choose one of the three, they’d rather be physically fit. Whether that surprises you or not, the ramifications are pretty big. Check this out:

If we look at the reality of what people focus their lives on, we’d deduce cars and homes are most important. Why’s that?

• We have a LOT more people driving nice cars and living in nice homes…than we have ‘fit’ people,
• I believed if we polled people further to ask they they are NOT fit, they’d claim a lack of time to devote to the pursuit of physical fitness, primarily due to time spent working. Working for what? Money to afford the car and home. Hmmm…

All three industries are HUGE. Automobile industry, Real Estate industry and Health & Fitness industry. Let’s look at average prices:

1. Car = $30,000 (http://www.npr.org/2012/04/06/150112247/average-u-s-car-price-tops-30-000)
2. House = $172,600 (http://www.mybudget360.com/buying-a-home-in-america-today-is-expensive-thanks-to-the-banking-sector-examining-income-and-home-prices-from-1950-to-the-present-can-home-prices-fall-another-38-percent/)
3. Fitness – $1,200 per year approx.: $55 per month gym membership and let’s go ahead and add another $50 per month for healthier food

What we want is drastically cheaper! A friend of mine, Sutton Parks, author of ‘You can sleep in your car, but you can’t drive your house to work’, said this in the Facebook thread, “This is a fascinating thread. It made me realize I want a nice house, car and body but the easiest and cheapest and most desirable of the 3 is the body. So why don’t I focus on it? It is the key to other things. Fascinating Kevin!”

So what gives? Why does this dichotomy exist?

Honestly, I was geared up to give a big answer, but it really doesn’t hold water. I was going to say…”We can BUY a car and a house, but we have to WORK HARD to get physically fit. When we go purchase a car or house, we have it! But when we buy the gym membership and better food, we DON’T have it. We just have tools. We now have a year or more to work our butts off.

But that doesn’t fly. The car and house we work WAY harder for. We spend 40+ hours per week at work to afford the car and house. To be incredibly physically fit only takes about 4 hours per week. We endure commutes and managers and bosses and coworkers and office politics (and decisions and risk for us self-employed) and…so much, for our work. To get fit, there’s not much baggage. I spent about $150 getting weight equipment on craigslist and simply go into my rec room and workout. All I endure is interruptions to wipe my little boys butt. The stress of work pales in comparison to the stress of physical exertion to get fit.

So a fraction of the money, a fraction of the time, a fraction of the stress and effort.

I’m not going to try and solve this one. I’m asking for your input. Again, the ramifications are big when we look at other areas we desire. I’m in the business of selling Purpose and Freedom at Free Agent Academy. Big desires that I expect would rank higher than car and house too, and yet the biggest enemy is just the daily grind.

So what do you think? What’s the core issue here?

Well, that’s going to be a big process for your life! Even if you had a spare $2,950 sitting around and God’s-gift-to-helping-people-discover-their-idea was available…they couldn’t guarantee providing it to you. Not even for $29,500! Not quickly at least.

No more than when you were or if you are single, could someone guarantee helping you discover the person of your dreams quickly!

BUT…they could get you well prepared and in the right place for the opportunity to present itself so you could take full advantage of it.

That’s what we’re offering with an ‘IDEA’ Small Group Coaching Course that kicks off this Thursday, Jan. 17 and ends Feb. 5, 2013. We surely can’t guarantee you’ll fully nail down the best IDEA for you to pursue for a business or self-employment or even the exact direction to apply to traditional-employment. But we can guarantee we’ll get you:

1. Honed in much closer to the area of your primary idea, and
2. Get your primary, personal ‘filter’ developed through with you can run any current or future idea and know if it lines up with who you are and what you want to achieve

Is it possible for you to DISCOVER your idea, or to get fully confirmed on an idea you ALREADY HAVE? Absolutely! I’ll expect that from some of the students. And I know all will end in a new place with new clarity, confidence and direction.

The cost isn’t event close to $29,500. Or $2,950. There are only three numbers in the enrollment fee, which happen to contain a 2 and a 9 and a 5.

There’s also a guarantee on the value for your small investment. And folks, you’re being led by Jonathan Pool. I just had my persona Life Plan administered by him (which happens to go for $3,200). I really can’t give a stronger recommendation for this.

RESOURCES

Jan. 2, 2013 Free Agent Underground Show with Kevin and Jonathan discussing what it takes to discover your best idea:
- Get it here

*This was an immensely popular show

COST

• $295
• Compare this with Jonathan charging $250-$300 (depends on quantity of hours in his consulting packages) PER HOUR for one-on-one consulting.
• Plus you get the power and synergy of peers (in Free Agent Academy) who you’ll get to know and commune and journey with.
• You’ll retain online contact with Jonathan and the other students after the course, so it doesn’t just end.
• Jonathan will also equip and direct you to what you need following the course, that is available right in FAA!

MEMBERS ONLY

• This is for active Free Agent Academy members only
• 10 maximum
• Registration fee of $295 for this Fast-Track course is additional to your FAA monthly membership ($5 for 15-days, then $95 per month for as long as you desire to remain a member).

OBJECTIVES

1. Learn the importance of perspective, and how to put all of yourself in context and see the bigger picture.
2. Learn how to identify clearly what makes you unique and how that has played out in your life.
3. Learn how to build your success on what makes you unique.
4. Learn how to use the Idea Filter
5. Be prepared well to filter Ideas against who you are at the core

CORE TAKEAWAY

Take $295 into any average store and you see the entirety of what you are purchasing. Hire someone to perform a basic service you need with an estimate of $295 and you pretty much know what you’re getting. So what about here? We listed the ‘Objectives’ above, but what is the core takeaway?

First, I have to disclose it’s not…to fully nail down the best IDEA for you to pursue for a business or self-employment or even the exact direction to apply to traditional-employment.  Nobody on planet earth could guarantee that for even $2,950. But I will guarantee you’ll get $2,950 worth of value in regards to:

1. Honing in close to the area of your primary idea, and
2. Developing the ‘filter’ through with you can run any current or future idea through to know if it lines up with who you are and what you want to achieve

Is it possible for you to DISCOVER your idea, or to get fully confirmed on an idea you ALREADY HAVE? Absolutely! I’ll expect that from some of the students. But I know all will end in a new place with new clarity, confidence and direction.

WHAT’S INCLUDED

1. 3 teaching sessions with Q&A at the end of each
2. 1 open Q&A follow up session after 2 weeks
3. template for the IDEA FILTER
4. 1 month of access to a collaborative whiteboard tool for each student. Collaborative access to each other’s virtual whiteboard.

KEY ITEMS

1. This is a small group intensive.
2. You will be in it together
3. Success depends on your investment in each other
4. It will take work
5. It will require reflection and soak time
6. You will walk away with great clarity and confirmation on your best idea, or in what direction your best idea lies (and your best next step for discovering it).

DATES

1. Thursday Jan 17, 2013, 1PM – 2:30 PM EST
2. Tuesday Jan 22, 2013, 9PM – 10:30 PM EST
3. Thursday Jan 24, 2013, 1PM – 2:30 PM EST
4. Open Q&A and brainstorming session Tues Feb 5, 2013, 9PM – 10:30 PM EST

HOW YOU’LL ATTEND

The live classes (and replays for any class you can’t attend) will be here in Free Agent Academy on a private page. You’ll participate via phone and internet and chat.

VALUE GUARANTEE: If at the end of this IDEA Fast-Track course you do not feel the value was worth the full $295, tell us what it WAS worth to you, and we’ll refund the difference…down to $0. One requirement to qualify for the refund…you must have participated. It doesn’t make sense for us to refund you because you didn’t show up, as you are taking a limited seat that someone else could have had.

Photo by jnpoulos

Lately I’ve been facing a personal struggle with being in the ‘self-help’ industry and ‘selling a message’. And I’ve come off a helluva year, business wise and personally. Had some big successes…and some big failures.

Which is much…the point of this post today. By definition of what I’m expected to be as a leader, influencer, coach, guide…I’m a fraud. So if you’ve been reading or listening to me for a while and wondering, now you know.

Let me explain. First, I have a tendency to disdain a majority of speakers, authors, experts, authorities, coaches, etc…who I deem are mainly trying to make a buck and aren’t really committed to deeply caring for people. Plus, they are usually not the kings-of-the-universe they try to come off as. Having one area of wisdom does not make you wise in all areas.  And two, I don’t ‘have it all together’. I mean…I really don’t have it all together.

The public expectation from anyone leading and influencing others in an ideal is they ‘have it all together’. And if a serious flaw is ever revealed, there is often in fact, a fall-from-grace in public opinion.

So if you are communicating a message and an ideal and endeavoring to influence people for the better, you feel the pressure to come off like you do in fact…have it all together. And back to the first issue I sourced, I know a lot of leaders and influencers who have some serious struggles and flaws and weaknesses that would surprise you.

That said, most of them do in fact, have an area of expertise they can deliver great value in. And thus, they shouldn’t be discounted due to their downfalls. It would be better to view ‘self-help’ purveyors like star athletes or celebrities. They can deliver on the field or court, or on stage or the screen. But they may be having struggles with health, relationships, finances or even mental stability in their own lives.

My platform is helping people take their natural talents and abilities, marrying them with their values, then applying them to their work…with a primary focus on owning that work, i.e. self-employment. And…being free from the confinement and shallowness of cultural norms. That’s my platform. And my personal expertise is inspiring and influencing people to take action towards these ideals. I’m good at this and can deliver on it.

Further, the platform I espouse, I have in fact, achieved. I have work that harnesses my talents and abilities and fully lines up with my values. I’d do it for free. And I own it! My lifestyle is wrapped around my values and convictions and we lead a very countercultural life. If I had $10 million in the bank, I don’t have much I’d change circumstantially. So in that sense, I’m calling people to something I’ve authentically achieved.

But if you audited my daily and weekly life with the expectation that I ‘had it all together’, you’d easily see my deficits. And I’m not talking just losing my cool, like I did yesterday morning when my two little ones were playing tug-a-war with a toy and one of them started screaming…and I yelled at them and swatted one on the butt in anger. I hate I did that.

There are much bigger issues. I made some really bad decisions this past year and hurt my business and personal finances significantly, even as my message and audience grew significantly. I can’t believe I was so blind, and after getting a clue we made a massive turnaround for the better in a mere 60 days. But holy moly…I stressed a lot of relationships with the financial dive.

Next? The aforementioned business stress wasn’t the cause of…but was a catalyst, to stress my marriage and open pandora’s box on some unhealthy areas in our relationship. So we’re in marriage counseling, and I’m going to get some personal counseling to help me work through some bad patterns I’m not overcoming personally. I just had a Life Plan done by great friend and amazing coach Jonathan Pool. It’s been daunting to look at the truth of some unhealthy tendencies in my life…

Let’s see…amidst all that comes some decent self-doubt which feeds into a less than jovial attitude. I wouldn’t say ‘depression’, but I’ve had more than one close friend attest that the glimmer of my spirit has had some significant fading.

From all this, I’ve done some retreating. If you’re a long-time reader and listener of my blogs and podcasts, or seen me speak or present recently or in the past year and this all seems hard to understand, it merely attests to my ability to perform. You think the chipper newscaster you watch every day doesn’t have any problems? They do, they’re just able to compartmentalize and perform.

What’s the point of all this? Part of it is me finding grace with my place and my peers in the ‘self-help’ industry. They have areas of expertise that we can all get great value from, even if other areas of their lives are in ill health. Just as I can help people discover purpose and apply it to their work and become self-employed, amidst the downfalls in my own life.

But another is just salving my own self-worth issues. I care what people think. And I assume plenty are sitting back wondering if I’m worthy of listening to. Am I for real…or am I a fraud?

As self-help purveyors are defined and expected to have it all together, again, let me assure you: I’m a raging fraud. I have significant areas of struggle in my life. I’m a great guide in my area of expertise, just as you have areas of expertise where I could use YOUR guidance. But I do not…have it all together.

What about you? Ever feel like a fraud? Maybe it’s just me…

Photo by Coblat

This is one of my more brief posts, but much more than a mere…post. We are about to revise our trial membership offer at Free Agent Academy. A little shorter timeline and $2 more dollars. But most importantly…a couple requirements. One is some thought toward what the desired outcome is. Here’s what I mean…

Ask yourself or anyone, “What’s wrong in your life, what do you not like, what are you dissatisfied with, what causes you pain/frustration/anger/resentment”, and you’ll have little hesitation. For most, the answers are right on their sleeve and may even erupt like a volcano.

This is what fuels the ‘self-help’ industry. Pain, hurt, dissatisfaction. Books and seminars and eProducts fly off the shelves like free candy.

So why then, are fewer and fewer people changing and progressing and finding peace? Because they’ve never outlined what it is they want, and why.

Two assumptions have to be put in place though, and I’ll use a ‘j-o-b’ as the example:

1. ‘Want’ must be defined as the destination, realization and fruition, not just the absence of the current problem. Meaning, it doesn’t count to say “I just want out of this hellish job!” OK, understood, but what job DO you want?
2. The want must come from your heart, not your hurt. Meaning, the answer of “Well, I just want a freakin’ job where the boss isn’t an a**hole, people listen to me and I make more money!” doesn’t suffice. You’ve gotta get real with what you really desire aside from your present amplified emotion.

Stepping back and asking what you really desire is key, and hard. Most people will avoid it because clarifying and stating it creates accountability to your actions or lack thereof, toward what you state. Which is why it’s so much easier just to state the frustration or pain and not touch on a solution.

How can you know if you’re speaking your ‘want’ from your heart or hurt? Ask “Why?”. Then filter the why through

1. Is it for purpose or pleasure?
2. Does it align with my natural talents, abilities and values?

You should be able to discern #1, but many won’t have clarity on #2. Just do your best. Get as close as you can. Or…get help.

But right now, just consider that being aware of what you don’t like, is not going to help you. At all. Until you stop and consider what you DO want, and why…you’re stuck.

YOU, however…are not like everyone else. When can you stop and take 30-minutes with pen in hand or fingers on keyboard, and dwell on what you want and why? I’ll be waiting to hear…

P.S. Pictured is me…amongst my Life Plan. Dear friend, Free Agent Academy Professor and Life Plan Master Facilitator Jonathan Pool just spent two full days helping me see the threads of my life story and hone in on where I’ve been, where I’m at where I want to go. And lots and lots of…why.

You know the truth about weight loss, right? Burn more calories than you consume. Our culture has developed a million strategies and gimmicks, but none that can shortcut…burning more calories than you consume.

So, how do you find a business idea that fits who you are and what the marketplace needs and will pay for? Do a lot of work to know thyself fully, and get expert counsel.

Hey, I’m the guy always looking for a shortcut. But…it doesn’t exist. Is there a formula?  Yes, to a degree. Again, back to weight loss…there is in fact merit in a formula that fits you and helps you to ultimately…burn more calories than you consume.

With a business idea, we have a strategy to help you know thyself and get counsel.

In this week’s Free Agent Underground Show I was joined by IDEA Guru Jonathan Pool and we discussed what it takes to find a viable idea. Whether you’re seeking full-on self-employment, or just want to do something on the side to earn extra money (and maybe see what it could grow into?!), we cover the highlights of what steps you can take.

You can take the info and do your best to apply it to yourself. Or, you can join us in Free Agent Academy and go through Jonathan’s IDEA course on your own. OR…Jan. 17-Feb. 5, Jonathan will be leading 10 members through his Fast-Track, small group coaching program in Free Agent Academy. Three live classes and a live Q&A session and Jonathan’s personal guidance in your journey through doing the work. Only $295, and you must be a member with us. Unprecedented value for the cost.

Interested…simply join us in the $5 for 15-day trial and see if it’s for you.

Meanwhile, enjoy this powerful hour with Jonathan, myself and 20 folks who were live in the chatroom with us, giving comments and asking questions on these five points:

5 Foundational Objectives to Finding Your Best Idea

1. Learn the importance of perspective, and how to put all of yourself in context and see the bigger picture.
2. Learn how to identify clearly what makes you unique and how that has played out in your life.
3. Learn how to build your success on what makes you unique.
4. Learn how to use the Idea Filter
5. Be prepared well to filter Ideas against who you are at the core

Right-click to download

Leave a review in iTunes

Free Agent Underground Show – “How to find a business idea that really fits you”

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Photo by abeams

For the next six days, variations of offering ‘Happy New Year!’ will be passed around somewhere around a billion times. It’s a simple well-wish and nice gesture. But words matter. We rise or fall by them and the meaning behind them.

So with our thought and intent subconsciously bent on having a ‘happy’ New Year and hopes for a happier year than the last, is it really what we want?

Happiness is primarily a momentary feeling. A grand feeling! But momentary and generally based on our immediately present circumstances. The masses of our culture are primarily focused on this momentary happiness. Life is generally separated between:

1.  Activities of Absolute Necessity
2.  Activities of Momentary Pleasure

Only a small percentage is generally devoted to:
3.  Activities of Long-term Significance

Examples of Absolute Necessity

• Personal hygiene – we brush and shower and shave
• Work – for most, there is little meaning in work other than making a buck and giving us a vocational label and possibly some status
• House keeping – laundry, dishes, vacuuming
• Maintenance – from homes to cars to groceries
• Family – facilitating school, activities and so much more

Examples of Momentary Pleasure

• Eating junk food – anything primarily taken in for taste only, with little nutritional value and possibly even harming us
• Mindless media – watching and listening and reading just for entertainment. Measure this by discerning what redemptive, lasting benefit you received from the time, or did it merely ‘pass’ the time?
• Non-necessity shopping – just buying for buyings sake
• Talking about people – whether celebrities, co-workers, family… (“Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.”)

Examples of Long-term Significance

• True rest – not filled with media or merely sleep, but clearing the mind and seeking peace
• Serving others from your unique giftings – not just doing anything, but serving in a way that is unique to what you specifically have to offer
• Working toward personal change – not just reading, listening and watching, but having pen in hand or fingers on keyboard and applying it to yourself and committing to new actions, activities and behaviors and thus…a better reality
• Radical, irreversible actions – quitting a job, moving cross country, making a large investment

You can make your own lists according to where you see your personal necessities, pleasures and significance. These are just a quick smattering of examples.

Think about the past year. The days, weeks, months…the whole year. Is it fair to bet most of your time, possibly ALL OF YOUR TIME, was spent on Necessities and Pleasures? And very little was spent on Significance?

The bad news? You’re not alone. You’re in good company. Yeah…that’s bad news.

The good news? You can be in GREAT company and drastically alter your life if you’ll simply increase the time you spend on Activities of Significance by 5%. You don’t have to be brilliant. You don’t really even need to be that smart (I can personally testify to this). You just have to devote consistant time and effort to it.

IMPORTANT: The necessities of your life and entitled yearnings of your flesh will not let up. Make an effort toward Significance and they will actually seem to increase!

You decide which wins. Circumstance…or Conviction.

So here’s wishing you, a Significant New Year!

You want better for yourself and your life, and better FROM yourself to give to others. So you read self-help books and blogs and magazines and articles, you listen to podcasts and watch videos…you may even attend seminars and conferences.

Chances are, maybe you haven’t changed much. And you blame yourself. Like you, I’m always to blame to some degree for my lack, but…

This morning I was reading in the Bible from Isaiah 30. I read it yesterday, but today just got hit with verse 1 (bolded from me):

“Woe to the rebellious children,” says the Lord,
“Who take counsel, but not of Me,
And who devise plans, but not of My Spirit,”

And I thought, man…how often do I take counsel, but it’s not rooted in the Lord. Meaning…it could be solid counsel, but it’s not the counsel that I specifically need most…for what is the priority need in my life today.

I love the book “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. It’s foundational to my life. I’ve even given away a couple cases of the book. So I envisioned myself in the rec room at my house, crouched down and reading the ‘great counsel’ in the book to one of my smallest children. They sit, mesmerized and nodding and I think I’m being a good Daddy. Of course they don’t understand a thing they hear, they’re just stoked I’m giving them direct attention. And while I’m reading, they pee themselves and soil the carpet.

“What the heck am I doing, they don’t need this, they need me reading a children’s book to them on potty training!”

How often do you and I eagerly partake of some great counsel, that has no relevance to the acute needs of our life currently? Seth Godin is arguably the best business and marketing writer of our time, but if your marriage is in crisis, or you have no plans to really take action to change anything in your work life, is that the best use of your time? Michael Gerber wrote one of the foundational business books of the past few decades in the E-Myth. But if you aren’t self-employed or actively building a business…then while there is great counsel in the book, it surely is NOT the counsel you need to try and digest now.

Which brings up the question…what counsel do you need most? You have a finite amount of time to take in new counsel, a finite memory to retain much, and a very, very finite amount of time in which to take new action in your life. So deciding what counsel you really need is paramount, no?

So how do you figure that out? You’ve gotta know you. The last thing you want to deal with. I want to make an abundance of money, please just tell me how to do that. I don’t want to go figure myself out and get to the root of why I often sabotage my financial success. I want to participate in twitter and facebook in discussing the latest New York Times self-help or business best seller and not be the only guy not in-the-know, even if the book is not at all what I need. I don’t really want a ’4-hour Work Week’, I want a fulfilling, meaningful and consequential-to-humanity work week!

Is it possible you have an intake of counsel, but it’s not making much change in your life because it’s not the counsel you need?

I’m browsing for lists of the best self-help books of 2012 right now. No lie, this list has this book at number one, “How To Think More About Sex.” Uh…I’m sure it has great counsel in there. But I happen to know myself well enough to realize…this is not the priority counsel for me right now. Maybe if it was “How to think less about…”

How about you? Are you taking in lots of counsel, but maybe not the counsel you really need right now? Do you know specifically what area is priority for your needs right now? Are you taking in counsel and not seeing a lot of change in your life as a result?

Photo by BenSpark

This blog has no point yet other than to ask you for your work or job title and definition. Hopefully in compiling, I’ll discover a relevant point. Will you  help me real quick?

This comes from seeing a guy on Facebook who used his work title as the preface to his name. He was a pastor, so he had ‘Pastor John Doe’. I know some Doctors who do the same thing with their names. It just struck me as odd in the moment. Odd that they do this…or odd that we don’t all. And got me to thinking…

I actually posted this question on Facebook, but I want to go deeper. You can check it out here though: Facebook ‘Title’ Discussion

What’s my title, which is really the role I fulfill. For Doctors and Pastors, the title doesn’t say what they do specifically, it’s just the name of their role. Doctors have to have certain degrees to use the title, Pastors don’t necessarily, so a degree isn’t ‘t he point. And not all Doctors work on the human body, just as not all Pastors preach from pulpits. So again…it’s the overriding ROLE they get the title for.

So what about you and me? What would yours have to be in this perspective? And then what’s the definition of the title. Then…what is it YOU really do and how do you do it?

I’m mainly curious in compiling this to see if we can unearth something of value in the exercise.

EXAMPLES:

1. Title/Role: Doctor
2. Definition: a person skilled or specializing in healing arts; especially: one (as a physician, dentist, or veterinarian) who holds an advanced degree and is licensed to practice
3. What they do: obviously this varies widely, there are ‘Doctors of _______’ tons of things.
4. How they do it: unique to each

1. Title/Role: Pastor
2. Definition: a spiritual overseer; especially : a clergyman serving a local church or parish
3. What they do: Again, so many. Some preach, some teach, some lead humanitarian efforts and organizations, some just care for various sects of people in need.
4. How they do it: again, unique to each

1. Title/Role: Mother
2. Definition a: a female parent, b: a woman in authority
3. What they do: Birth, raise and nurture small humans from infancy to childhood to young adulthood and equip them to be independent
4. How they do it: Not enough space on this page to list it all…

So in asking myself…I had to think. At first I though ‘Inspirer’ or even ‘Seller’, but that’s what the title/role does. I guess it would have to be:

1. Kevin’s Title/Role: Business Owner (at first I had Businessman, but that was defined as: a man who transacts business; especially : a business executive, which could of course include those traditionally employed, which I am not. So maybe:
2. Definition: a person who owns a business
3. What I do: To be simplistic, I’d have to say: I run an online personal development and self-employment school and sell memberships.
4. How I do it: I broadcast communications to the marketplace in an effort to inspire and motivate people to pursue freedom and inspiration in their lives by discovering who they are, what they can uniquely offer the marketplace and help them create a viable business where their ‘who’ and ‘what’ intersect.

What about you? Would you briefly state your:

1. Title/Role: (what you are)
2. Definition: (what that is)
3. What you do: (what that title/role does)
4. How you do it: (literally, the primary tasks you fulfill on a daily basis)

Optional
- Are you proud of this?
- If not, what would you choose instead?

Thank you…I’ll report on this!

Want the secret to finding time for the important things in your life that consistently get overtaken by all the urgent things? Get selfish. Read on…

People come into Free Agent Academy because they want and believe in something better for their lives. Viable dreams and convictions and values lead them here.

The #1 reason they quit? Well, they say “I just don’t have time right now,” but that’s just code for, “This is not priority enough for me right now.” Which really means, I have my time so filled with other things which doesn’t allow time for this pursuit of freedom and purpose.

Now you’d expect me to give all the pithy statements about “We all have the same amount of time” and “We do what’s most important” and so on. True, but those quips don’t really help us. This is why our recommended first group in Free Agent Academy is ‘Priorities’. Three new members just posted their personal inventory work in there today!

Here is what I find with people achieving success in the important areas of life:

They do less than most of us.

We generally think of successful people as super disciplined and doing MORE than the rest of us, right? It just isn’t true. And they aren’t great time managers either. They just don’t do so many of the time wasting activities ‘normal’ people do, and they are much more discerning with what they commit themselves too.

So you want the formula for getting more time for the important things? Just whip out a calendar and think through your days…listing out your activities and the time for each. List it all out, but especially the scheduled and routine events.

Actually, we’re pretty much just talking about the things aside from basic personal hygiene and work. Out of all the engagements:

• Entertainment (TV, reading, browsing, sports, shopping)
• Kid activities (all the sordid events schools have kids doing)
• Social events (including church and volunteer work)
• Listening and reading to various media, self-help, whatever (podcasts, blogs, books, magazines, newspaper)
• Running errands
• Hobbies

Some of things are crap and you know it. But many of them you would rate as ‘good’ things. At the end of the day/week/month/year/decade though…all those ‘good’ things got in the way of the ‘great’ things.

And that right there…is what separates one person with an average/good life from someone similar who is achieve and realizing some truly great fruitions. Not letting the good get in the way of the great.

Hey, I’m preaching to myself as usual. I have 7 kids and live in a small town with a tight community. We’re involved in our church and social groups. And quicker than Santa can wink, I find myself having said “Sure” to so many ‘good’ things, and having no time for the ‘great’ endeavors of my life.

So I have to constantly stop myself and discern and often say “No” to the flattering requests to help lead a church or city event. I say “No” to the kid event where my kid will just be a head in the crowd for 30 seconds while they all mumble some recital. I save up for the special kid events. My kids get far more from focused time at home than me coming to every freakin’ school activity. I don’t run the kids to every thing they want to attend, my time is valuable and the healthier I am overall and taking care of me, the better I am for them when it counts. They don’t need a run-down chauffeur, they need a joyful Daddy. I say “No” to media. No to TV, one movie a week at most, no sports viewing, no newspaper. And that goes for self-help stuff too, most just use it for positive entertainment, they aren’t taking action on it…it’s not changing them, it’s just taking up valuable time. I say “No” to running an errand across town at any time and instead conglomerate my trips to be efficient. Or just do without. I say no to a LOT of good volunteer requests, which is hard…sometimes feels selfish. But I have to know my values and priorities and I’ll serve more people when I keep sacred what I know to be best, then if I just offer myself to anything and everything.

I could go on, but you get the point. We often budget our money, but not our time. And nothing is more precious. The most successful people I know…the people who are changing the world and greatly influencing other’s lives for the better…are incredibly selfish and discerning with their time. They do less. But what they do…counts.

So look at what you give your time to. What you do and don’t give yourself to shows the value you place on yourself and what you choose to invest in. And it will decide who and where you are in the future.

Someone please remind me of all this next week when I’m sprinting around like a chicken with it’s head cut off and I haven’t gone for a run or read my Bible in three days…
If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

Photo by cheerfulmonk

Take a top expert in a field and lay down the gauntlet…ask them to give their top 5 keys for success in their area of expertise. If you’re on deck to step up and really boil it down, it’s a daunting request.

This is exactly what I did with my Dad, Dan Miller…bestselling author of ‘48 Days To The Work You Love‘. He’s been self-employed all his life and walked with thousands who have gone after it, many succeeding, many failing.

Today he submitted the list to me, and I just posted them in our Free Agent Academy member’s community in preparation for our Wednesday, Dec. 12 ‘Reverse’ Tele-Seminar,

“Dan Miller’s Top 5 Keys for Transitioning from Traditional Employment to Self-Employment”

The point? It’s not just to get his list of headlines. They just won’t do you much good alone. The value is twofold:
1. The Why – Dan explains the essential “Why” and explanation behind each key. Why it’s so important and necessary.
2. Making it Personal – The power is in digesting his keys and explanations and discerning what area is most crucial for you…and asking him a personal question. That’s what the ‘Reverse’ is about. We won’t spend the class presenting the material. I just posted it all. We’ll spend the class answering your personal questions IN RESPONSE to the material.

So if you want the meat…this is just a tease. To come in and get his “Why” and a personal answer to what aspect is most critical for you…costs $5. And…includes a $17 hardback, autographed copy of his newest book “Wisdom Meets Passion”! Sweet deal, eh?

Simply join Free Agent Academy in our $5 for 15-day trail (which this exclusive Tele-Seminar falls within) and you’re all set. You get the ‘Why’ of Dan’s keys and get to ask him your personal question. If you feel FAA isn’t for you following the big event, you may cancel. We’re betting a lot that you’ll find the revolutionary hope and program we have in FAA irresistible and will stay on with us and journey together toward your free agency.

With no further ado…

“Dan Miller’s TOP 5 KEYS for transitioning from traditional employment to self-employment.”

KEY #1 – Know what it is that makes you “remarkable.”
- Dan continues: We’ve heard a lot about…

KEY #2 – Be clearer on what you’re going “to” than what you’re moving “from.”
- Dan continues: Nearly everyone I know who is moving to self-employment wants…

KEY #3 – Understand the difference between being self-employed and starting a business.
- Dan continues: Many people move from “employment” to “self-employment” only to realize…

KEY #4 – Have a clear plan for making money.
- Dan continues: Don’t just “trust God” that everything will work out since…

KEY #5 – See the future with optimism, hope, boldness, enthusiasm, and the confidence that can come only from having faith in what may not yet be reality.
- Dan continues: These are not just “positive thinking gimmicks.” They are real…

There you have it, the best from one of the world’s experts on self-employment. His best counsel. Well, the headlines to his best counsel. Want more? That’s what I’m selling. As my mentor Zig Ziglar quoted, “If you believe your product or service can fulfill a true need, it’s your moral obligation to sell it.”

Dan promoted this Tele-Seminar in his weekly newsletter that hit today…going out to well over 100,000 subscribers, so we’ve been busy with responses. I would be ever so honored to meet you and welcome you into Free Agent Academy to talk with Dan and the rest of us.

- Info and enrollment info here

Waiting to say hi to you…

Here I reviewed this post via audio:
Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

An air-traffic controller spends all day monitoring air crafts. I spend most days monitoring people striving for big life change.  When it all boils down to it, what do I see as the #1 “Law” of Change?

Doing the work:

• Doing a LOT of work.
• Doing more work than you’re used to.
• Doing smarter work – not just busyness based, but results based.
• Getting feedback and counsel and guidance on your work.
• Getting off track with your work…and working even more to get ON track.
• Stalling out, losing momentum, getting discouraged. And starting up again anyway.

Nothing compensates for not doing the work, not:

• Motivation
• Inspiration
• ‘Belief’
• Smarts
• Brilliance
• Experience

These are all highly valuable and should be sought after, but you can have them and you’ll still fail if you don’t buckle down and just do the work. Right now I have 90 new members in Free Agent Academy who are sitting down, pen in hand or fingers on keyboard…doing the work to achieve their goals. Many…for the first time. Not just taking in knowledge, but acting on it.

This truth and ‘Law’ pisses me off. I want to cut corners. I want to be the exception. I want to be smarter-than-the-average-bear.

I’m not, and it disappoints me a great deal.

On the upside,I don’t have to rely on whether I’m motivated, inspired, smart, brilliant or better experienced. I’m often found lacking in those things. But I can always, simply…do the work.

Do you know you need to join the ranks of us normal people and simply do the work to change?

How would you like Dan Miller’s latest, greatest wisdom and insight on what it takes to transition from traditional employment to self-employment? And an autographed, hardback of his newest book ‘Wisdom Meets Passion’?

Dan Miller, bestselling author of the career classic ‘48 Days To The Work You Love‘ book. Dave Ramsey’s career and work go-to guy. Arguably today’s most respected name in the field of ‘meaningful work’. And…my Dad, in case you didn’t know.

This is literally brand new, exclusive info and insight from him. I haven’t seen it and won’t till you do!

Read the rest of the message down below, or hear it via this 5 minute video or audio:

Audio Right-click to download

On Dec. 12th, 2012, inside Free Agent Academy, we’ll host a ‘Reverse’ Tele-Seminar with Dan, and send you an autographed, hardback of his newest book, “Wisdom Meets Passion”.

First…what’s with ‘Reverse’ you ask? In most Teleseminars you sit on the end of a phone or your computer and listen to a presentation. I see no reason to show up to hear something we could easily record. So, on Dec. 7th we’ll be posting “Dan’s Top 5 Keys for Transitioning from Traditional Employment to Self-Employment”. You’ll have 5-days to read, dwell and digest…AND form your most important question for Dan. Which you’ll post, and during the Tele-Seminar we’ll spend 100% of our time together answering your specific questions.

I’ll be live via video, Dan will be live via audio, and we’ll both be live in the Free Agent Academy chat room.

Immediately following the Tele-Seminar, we’re sending everyone in attendance an autographed copy of Dan’s newest book (co-written by his other son, and my Bro, Jared Angaza), ‘Wisdom Meets Passion’. This sells at the 48Days.com website for $17.

What’s the catch, what’s the cost? To access this Tele-Seminar and receive your book, join Free Agent Academy in our $5 for 15-days trial. We believe you’ll find so much value in our private membership, revolutionary courses and incredible guides…you’ll stay on and let us join you in your pursuit of free agency! Do you already have a business or idea you’re working on? Let’s ramp it up and get it more abundant and consistent.

Dan is letting his audience know about this special offer and we’ve already been welcoming in new members from his subscribers.

$5 for

1. A private Tele-Seminar with Dan Miller,
2. who will answer your personal question on transitioning to self-employment,
3. and send you an autographed hardback of ‘Wisdom Meets Passion’,
4. and you may just find the inspiration, community, support, personal guidance and resources you’ve only ever dreamed of…for finding purposeful work and OWNING it.

It’s definitely the best offer I’ve ever given for membership, but hey…it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas to You, from us!

>ENROLL NOW<

To take advantage of this special offer from Dan & Kevin

“Kevin, you know, it’s interesting to me that through this [brief] involvement with FAA, I am really getting a sense of what “I” truly want my business to look like, what is really going to fit and allow me to do interior redesign in a fashion that brings out the gifts and calling that God has given to me.”
- K. Anderson, Montana, Free Agent Academy member for 24 days – just posted at 1:45pm Mountain Time on 12/4/12 as I was sending this out

You’re desperately trying and wanting to believe you can be more and do more and achieve more. But chances are you’re utterly alone and unsupported. You have zero real support in going after something bigger and better in your life.

It’s not that you don’t have people who love and care about you and think very well of you. But in desiring a bigger vision for yourself and your life overall and contemplating taking action…do you have anyone in your corner literally saying,

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

“Hey, I know you. I understand you. And truthfully, I full out believe in you. I think you CAN do it! That thing you desire and dream about and long for…I think it’s possible and I can see you, of all people, making it happen! Sure, it will be hard and you’ll have to pull out more than you ever have, but [insert your name here], I just honestly can see you doing it. I’m with you and you have my full support!”

Read that again and imagine someone you know and RESPECT (critical) saying it to you. If you are aware of a specific thing you desire, put it in mind while you read this.

Can you imagine how you’d feel? Would it make your skin tingle and your eyes bulge a little? Would it be like hitting turbo on your heart? Would it finally push you over the edge in your self-confidence and determination to do what you know is best and right and true in your life?

You bet.

Today, Zig Ziglar died. His greatest legacy? Encouraging others. Today, Seth Godin wrote a short blog of testimony to Zig and in it said, “Thanks for believing in us, the people you almost never met in person, for supporting us with your voice and your stories and your enthusiasm.”

How many people achieved things they would have never gotten close to, because this one man believed in them and helped them believe in themselves? An unprecedented amount. Listen to this short session of video clips from an interview I was blessed to have with Zig himself when I hosted my first Ziglar Success 2.0 Show. He cites his number one role as that of “an Encourager”:

So, how do you get that kind of support and encouragement for yourself?

1. Buy any of Zig’s personal development materials at Ziglar.com. My favorite, the Strategies For Success DVD Series where you can watch and be impacted by classic Zig himself.
2. Join us in Free Agent Academy where we can come to know you, your story and support you from truly knowing and understanding you
3. Hire a personal life, career or business coach. If you need a recommendation, email us here
4. Seek out a real person in your personal life who you see does this for other people, and nurture a relationship with them
5. Pray and seek

It’s rare. Oh so rare. Again, my experience is hardly any of us have this. Finding it for yourself will be hard. However…

6. The one thing you can do today, for sure, no doubt…that may be the key for you finding true encouragement and support for yourself is, BE IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Encourage someone else. Encourage who they are and offer up your belief in them. Not just a platitude and word of support, but a look in the eyes or a personal letter that is specific and detailed and personal and real.

Have your perspective be, “How can I help them believe more about themselves and lift them up?” Do this to enough people over a period of time and you’ll experience the truth of one of Zig’s most famous quotes,

“If you help enough people get what they want, you’ll get what you want”.

We’ll be discussing this in today’s Free Agent Underground Show at 2pm MT / 4pm ET right here. Join us!

Do you feel in dire need of encouragement and support in your life? Feel alone? Have a story of what encouragement enabled you to achieve? Please share…

*Pictured, one of my most fond pictures from a day I got to spend with Zig 

In place of the live show today, I’ve posted two short podcasts at the top of these two blogs. I reviewed them, expounded on them a bit, then read some of the incredible comments:

• How & Why we medicate lack of purpose
• You need drastic change and you are capable now

Mike Loomis left this comment if it helps motivate you to take a moment and read or listen, “Holy crap, Kevin – This is super-sized awesomeness! Hope you feel better… I sure do – A nice jolt to accompany my coffee, and shape my day.”

I didn’t pay him for that, I swear. Though I would have…

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The point is having ‘gratitude’. The core of gratitude is ‘appreciation:

ap·pre·ci·a·tion
noun
- the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value.

Let me say…I immensely appreciate you finding value in what I write and record here. It’s a huge gift and honor. Thank you. Thanks for telling others about this ‘free agent’ message. The message is solid. The messenger…not always so solid. just a guy on a journey like you. Thanks for listening and reading and joining Free Agent Academy and enabling me to work at something that means so much to me.

Appreciation defined, “the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value”, is so convicting to me. If I truly step back and look at my circumstances and the people in my life and estimate their quality and give them proper value, how can I NOT be overwhelmingly grateful? How can I complain about anything?

And isn’t that pretty much all we have? Our present circumstances and relationships. All our ‘values’ in life pretty much come down to how we see things. Is the glass half empty or half full? If I list out any ‘lack’ in my circumstances or any fault in those I’m in relationship with, there is far more to be thankful for than not.

Of course it depends on how we compare ourselves:

1. To Bill Gates and billionaires and celebrities.
2. To our neighbors and peers.
3. To people in war torn 3rd world countries.
4. To our mind’s eye of what is ‘right’ and should be expected

It’s that fourth one which usually derails us, and it’s a doozy. I have my own to grapple with.

So this Thanksgiving, I wish you the ability to truly put your life in perspective and be able to fully ‘estimate the qualities of your circumstances and relationships and give them their proper value’ and realize…it could be worse. Much worse.

Blessings,
Kevin

P.S. If you’re self-employed, give your Boss a break this weekend. Remind him or her of their value. I bet their pretty hard on themselves..

A couple days ago I did my daily headlines check to see if anything really important was happening. Not much to report there. But I did happen to see a headline letting us know some Hollywood starlet had shed 60 lbs. Again.

Normally it wouldn’t have even registered. However, I’m in the midst of a fairly rapid and drastic change which helped me see it with different eyes. And gave me respect for the girl. To lose that much weight in a short amount of time is impressive.
If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes
It’s easy to discount, “Sure, if I could hire a personal trainer and spend 2 hours a day in the gym…If I could afford all the healthy food…If I was paid millions for a movie role, then sure, I could do it.” It’s not really fair though. Whether you are poor or rich, only your personal resolve can enable you to eat less calories than you burn. So really all we’re saying is this girl is more motivated by money and results. Hmmm. So if I paid you, then you’d put down the M&Ms?

But my personal story that made it relevant is lifting weights. I’m an endurance junkie and don’t enjoy standing still and lifting heavy things that cause me pain. When I run or ride at 9,000′ above sea level I get somewhere, see the sights, feel the wind in my hair. However, at 6′ I was close to dipping below 155lbs. My core wasn’t strong, lifting heavy stuff around our house and property wore me out quickly, I had shoulder and back pain from old cycling injuries and my wife wasn’t as thrilled with my ‘slight’ physique. What was the future for me? A thin, bent over, frail old man. A big pair of lungs in a skeleton.

I’m not OK with that picture. I want to hoist my great grandkids onto my shoulders when I’m 85 and help my kids build a house. I had to start now. So…I did. I knew the morning from about 7-8am was available time. While helping my four little kids get breakfast and keep them quiet for the rest of the family, I could workout amongst that.

123 days later, significant change. It’s been hard. So often I didn’t want to do it, but I feared if I quit, I would just backslide and lose it all. I just made it routine, like getting coffee in the morning. Most folks won’t miss their fave TV show, I don’t miss my workout now. The increase in my strength, the lack of aches and pains, and the way my wife looks at me…I’m sold. Even my teenage kids are kind of shocked, “Daddy’s buff!” It’s a new world. After only 123 days of consistency. Well, and a lot of wincing.

So all the Hollywood stars and celebrities and the drastic body transformations they go through…it’s pretty darn impressive. There may be better looking and more talented people out there, but they just aren’t able to commit to necessary ‘drastic change’. And they don’t make the cut.

What about you and your desire for change in your life? We usually go after change in our lives in little bits. Just try to add a bit here and there without disrupting things. It doesn’t work. Any decent change comes from some drastic efforts. Some life disruption. And you’ve done it before, it was just probably reactive instead of proactive. It happened to you instead of you happening to it. You took a 2nd job to pay the bills and lived a crazy life for a while. You decided to get a degree on the side of your day job and added a ton of time and work into your life. You had a kid and had sleepless nights for a long, long time. You got laid off and moved into a house with family with too many people in too little a space. Or worse. And you made it.

If you want a different reality for your life, you just need to happen TO IT. Maybe for the first time. Proactive. Drastic. I love drastic. I’m a fan of it. Matter of fact, in dwelling on this it occurred to me that ‘drastic’ is what I’m best at. I’ve changed my personal coaching and consulting to ‘DRASTIC CHANGE & RESULTS COACH’ (check it out if it sounds fitting for you). My past clients would attest that this is where I’m best and provided the most value…helping make drastic changes. Sometimes baby steps are best, but I’m just not that competent at them. I don’t do moderation well. I tend towards excess.

Right now. Here you are. You want a different reality. How about brainstorming some drastic changes, which are probably necessary to jar you out of your current reality (rut?) and toward your intended destination. I’m not talking about huge risk and throwing caution to the wind. There was no danger in my taking 45 minutes of my mornings to add in working out and do it for 123s straight. But it was a big alteration of my life.

Most every day for you is routine and is headed in a specific direction. Want to chart a new course? You’ll have to make some relatively drastic changes. A few degrees shift will usually result in barely making it up the curb and then…slide…right back into the old routine. You need a jolt. A big shift. Crash over the curb and escape your current inertia.

Ready?