The 5 top reasons you (and I) have failed in so many personal development attempts

July 17th, 2012 by Agent Kevin Miller

This comes from my personal experiences of failure, which are far too numerous. And…after five years of focused work, walking with people who are seeking to make significant change in their lives, it seems we’re all pretty consistant in our humanity.

Today I’m just giving the list. It’s not an exhaustive thesis, just what I see as the TOP 5. I’ll follow up in the coming days by going deeper into each reason. If you can relate and want to stop the cycle of failure, I’ll wager a mere $95 will give you 95% more progress than ever before in your life.

Here we go…top 5 reasons we fail in our personal development attempts:

1. We weren’t really committed
We were just trying, not really committed. Trying to catch fish is OK. Trying a new flavor of ice cream is acceptable. But trying to propose marriage or trying to sky dive isn’t an option. You either fully jump…or not. Whenever I ‘try’ to make a personal change, I fail. Only when I commit 100% with no turning back and no fall back plan do I actually achieve anything.

2. We attempted it alone
This is an American disease. The ‘self-made man’ and the lone wolf. Occasionally we’ll see a person achieve an area of success going it fully alone, but almost 100% of those who achieve that desired success, realize it the same way. Alone. When we go it alone, there is no cost to quitting (accountability) and we are relying on our own limited selves. Whatever I’ve attempted alone has either failed, or cost way too much time, money and relational strife.

3. We expected someone or something to deliver the results
We generally attempt to put our hope and expectation in a person or strategy and subconsciously put much of the responsibility for results in and on them instead of ourselves. That keeps the blame and weight off us. I can join the best gym, hire the best personal trainer. But unless I get my own arse out of bed, show up 3-4 times per week and lift weights to the point of pain and beyond…I’ll get zero results.

4. We don’t want to disrupt our current lifestyle
Which is odd, seeing as how we want a better lifestyle. Just as an abused kid who wants to be cared for, when given the opportunity for a new and better life, would rather just stay at their current home. Even with the beatings.  We truly want a different reality, but we don’t usually want to change your current lifestyle habits or do anything that would infringe upon our current habits, established routine and current comforts.

5. We didn’t take inventory of ourselves
It’s not hard to get inspired, motivated and take action. The view from the top of Pikes Peak is awe inspiring. So we show the view, invite folks to a party at the top, and the next morning hordes of folks show up. But…one guy is in flip flops. He won’t make it far, or he’ll take two days to make it an will likely lose some toes along the way. Another lady has top of the line hiking shoes, but is only in shorts and a t-shirt. Even in the summer a freak snow storm can hit. She’s gonna get hypothermia. Another guy weighs 500lb. He’s gonna need a couple years of work before he can even attempt this. How many of us take action with gusto without stopping to discern if we are prepared? I’m the king of “Aim, Fire!” Ready??

We’ll go deeper into these, but for now…any of this ring true for you, or is it just me?