Do your kids need you to pursue free agency?
August 7th, 2013 by Agent Kevin Miller
Are your kids to blame for you not being able to pursue something better for your life?
You’ve gotta put food on the table, a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and of course…help them get a college degree (really?).
You can’t afford to do anything but keep your nose to the grindstone, right?
Or…could one of the greatest gifts you ever give your kids be YOU going after your free agency?
Would they benefit most from:
- Never lacking for anything?
- Seeing their parents crawl out of bed to go to a job they dread?
- Not understanding and experiencing any connection between heart and passion and work?
- Never experiencing trial and overcoming?
- Not being a part of a quest?
Or would their best equipping for life come from your example?
This is on one hand daunting, but on the other hand, might be the exact permission you’ve needed. What if the main thing that’s been holding you back is in fact the best excuse you have to go after a bigger story?!
The other day on Facebook I shared a really disturbing article that should strike fear in the hearts of every parent:
- A record 21.6 million millennials (18-31 years old) live with parents
Quite a lively discussion ensued in the comments. Most people felt it was a result of parents not equipping their kids.
I’ll merely offer this…in walking with hundreds of people desiring more meaning and purpose in their work, the folks who struggle the most are those who saw their parents clock in and out for a lifetime in jobs that were solely to provide a paycheck.
Are they grateful their parents did what it took to provide food, clothing and shelter? Sure. But today they are testifying to two things:
- They sure as hell do NOT want to sell their lives away for a mere paycheck like Mom & Dad did,
- However, they feel severely handicapped to do or understand anything else.
If we don’t want kids dependent upon a degree, a job, the government, the economy or US, then what do we do?
The best equipping doesn’t come from teaching, it comes from example.
What do you want for your kids? A life of ease and anonymity? Or do you want them to make a mark in the world, be worthwhile to others and contribute something unique?
- You know how we get the best grapes for premium wine? Stress them. Make them fight for survival.
- How do we get the strongest trees? Prune them back.
Does this mean you TRY to make your kids life hard? Of course not. Just let them be part of a good story, and any good story will have challenges to overcome. Overcome them together. Equip them. Strengthen them.
Afraid of failure, risk, trial? Check this out: The best gift you can give your kids = Failure
Do you hope your kid lives a worthy life and a good story? Do you desire them to be strong and resilient and able to really stand on their own? Let them experience a quest now. Aside from your love, it might be the best gift you can give them.
*Disclosure – While I got to experience the benefits of my own childhood ripe with adventure, trial and triumph, the oldest of my seven kids just turned 18. I can’t point to the grand successes of my own kids. I’m in this with you, looking at them and working to figure out what will serve them best. Another reason I don’t call myself a leader. Just a guide…scaling the mountain with you.