Start with what you want and why
January 9th, 2013 by Agent Kevin Miller
This is one of my more brief posts, but much more than a mere…post. We are about to revise our trial membership offer at Free Agent Academy. A little shorter timeline and $2 more dollars. But most importantly…a couple requirements. One is some thought toward what the desired outcome is. Here’s what I mean…
Ask yourself or anyone, “What’s wrong in your life, what do you not like, what are you dissatisfied with, what causes you pain/frustration/anger/resentment”, and you’ll have little hesitation. For most, the answers are right on their sleeve and may even erupt like a volcano.
This is what fuels the ‘self-help’ industry. Pain, hurt, dissatisfaction. Books and seminars and eProducts fly off the shelves like free candy.
So why then, are fewer and fewer people changing and progressing and finding peace? Because they’ve never outlined what it is they want, and why.
Two assumptions have to be put in place though, and I’ll use a ‘j-o-b’ as the example:
- ‘Want’ must be defined as the destination, realization and fruition, not just the absence of the current problem. Meaning, it doesn’t count to say “I just want out of this hellish job!” OK, understood, but what job DO you want?
- The want must come from your heart, not your hurt. Meaning, the answer of “Well, I just want a freakin’ job where the boss isn’t an a**hole, people listen to me and I make more money!” doesn’t suffice. You’ve gotta get real with what you really desire aside from your present amplified emotion.
Stepping back and asking what you really desire is key, and hard. Most people will avoid it because clarifying and stating it creates accountability to your actions or lack thereof, toward what you state. Which is why it’s so much easier just to state the frustration or pain and not touch on a solution.
How can you know if you’re speaking your ‘want’ from your heart or hurt? Ask “Why?”. Then filter the why through
- Is it for purpose or pleasure?
- Does it align with my natural talents, abilities and values?
You should be able to discern #1, but many won’t have clarity on #2. Just do your best. Get as close as you can. Or…get help.
But right now, just consider that being aware of what you don’t like, is not going to help you. At all. Until you stop and consider what you DO want, and why…you’re stuck.
YOU, however…are not like everyone else. When can you stop and take 30-minutes with pen in hand or fingers on keyboard, and dwell on what you want and why? I’ll be waiting to hear…
P.S. Pictured is me…amongst my Life Plan. Dear friend, Free Agent Academy Professor and Life Plan Master Facilitator Jonathan Pool just spent two full days helping me see the threads of my life story and hone in on where I’ve been, where I’m at where I want to go. And lots and lots of…why.
Listen to the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes