Is wanting to be self-employed selfish?
October 26th, 2012 by Agent Kevin Miller
My wife is a high achiever. It’s just who she is. She’s been that way since she was a little girl. Everything she did she excelled at. In early years it was mainly dance. She was Captain of the dance team at Austin Highschool. She danced with Ballet Austin. She went on to outdoor music theater in Galveston, TX and then onto getting her ‘Triple Threat’ (singing/acting/dancing) degree at Western KY University and performing constantly. Then…she landed a big contract singing and dancing at Opryland Theme Park, which at the time was the 2nd highest paying theme park after Disney World. She was on her way to Broadway!
We got married and she burnt out a bit on performing and tried her hand in the business world. She was literally the first employee Dave Ramsey every had, working out of his house in the cheap area of Nashville, TN in 1993. Then she landed a job as VP of Marketing for a big mortgage company in town and quickly worked her way into being vital for the company and I know would have kept on accelerating.
But then…1995 she had a baby and discovered a love and a life worthy of her full devotion. In 1996 she had another baby. 2000 she had another baby. From 2004 to 2010 she had four more babies to make up the tidy number 7. So instead of Broadway or Wallstreet, she’s been a full time mother for over 17 years now. The work is much harder and includes fulfilling too many roles and responsibilities, and the payoff is much more intangible. But…she believes in it.
QUESTION: Would Teri do all it takes to be a full time Mommy, as a surrogate mother and nanny? Meaning…do all the work for somebody else’s kids? Not kids in need mind you, let’s say it’s a wealthy family whose primary purpose was to be popular and ‘high society’. And Teri was to do all the work just as a mere job. And let’s say she doesn’t like the children, the parents, the family’s home and doesn’t share their beliefs or values. She’s solely doing it for the cash.
No freakin’ way. She’d go get a desk job that was easier work, better pay and she could leave it at the end of the day. Or more likely, she’s have gone on to Broadway or Wallstreet!
Teri works herself to the bone to grow and raise our kids. Every duty and chore is for them. The payoff is right at her hands everyday with face-to-face God ordained deep love and connection. Growing and raising a life that is truly part of her! Teri will spend her life enjoying the fruits of her labor in family and relationships and legacy.
Yet I’m supposed to go devote my effort and blood during the day as a surrogate worker for some biz owner? I get a paycheck and someone else get’s the entire life of a business enterprise? They die with a legacy and inheritance and I die using up my savings to pay for my piddly retirement?
No thanks. I wouldn’t do that anymore than Teri would do all she does for somebody else’s kids. I can’t see the point actually. My grandfather devoted his work life to his farm, building up land and crops and animals and barns which allowed him to achieve a level of success far beyond his peers who hired themselves out to others (read “A true free agent legacy, Ray Miller 1913 – 2010“). My own Dad worked harder than other men I saw, in order to own his work and have true skin in the game…building an asset with his toil. Today the payoff is what few will ever realize.
Back to Teri. If she were doing it all for someone else’s kids and deeply desired to be a Mommy for her own children that she loved and cared for, would we say, “Hey, isn’t that a little selfish? Having your own kids where your work has far more purpose and payoff would be great, but that’s a luxury.”
I think not.
This always brings up the question, “Kevin, so you think EVERYONE should be self-employed? That’s unrealistic because yada, yada, yada……..”
I’m not talking to everyone. I’m just talking with you. If you were complete being a surrogate, you wouldn’t be reading this, eh?