The problem with self-employment is…self

March 13th, 2013 by Agent Kevin Miller

support-group

“The problem with self-employment is…self. We want to own our work, not go it alone.”

If we study people who are successful enough that we’d pretty much all know them, it’s very, very hard to find one who made it by themselves. When we dig in, we find a prominent team of people who were part of the endeavor, even if the one we know got most of the recognition.

Conversely, the vast majority of people, most of us, who desire to achieve something worthy…go after it alone. Think back for yourself, how many things have you tried all by yourself? And how did it turn out?

OK, truthfully…this topic is not one of my favorites. I LIKE going it alone. I’m impatient, opinionated, enjoy solitude and get frustrated dealing with others opinions and ideas and perspectives. This is my nature. But at 42 years old I can simply look back at my life and see where I failed, I went it alone. Where I succeeded, I had support. That’s it. Period. So today I have to seek out a team. All in all, I’ll still admit it’s not easy for me, and I often veer into isolation. It’s just been proven in my life however, I’m not an exception. I can’t skip over what works. And going it alone, does NOT work.

We have elite runners stay at our house most weekends during Spring through Fall for high altitude training (we live at 9,300 feet above sea level). We’ve had marathoners and milers, very different disciplines. But all of them do two things the same:

  1. They run twice a day, first thing in the morning and late afternoon,
  2. They don’t eat before their morning run.

Those are just two habits among many. But imagine if I wanted to pursue elite running, and decided…”I think I’ll eat a big breakfast, then just do one big workout midday.”

Why would I do differently, when the folks who are at the level I want to get to…are all doing the same thing? Doesn’t make sense eh?

When we look at people who have achieved success in sports, work, business, personal development, fitness, finance or any area we’d desire great results in…we find a solid support group they are part of. Nearly 100% across the board. And culturally, we’re generally drawn to this. We just usually get away from it after formal school ends and we go off on our own. And…stay alone from then on in most of our endeavors.

We often try to cobble together some semblance of a group from wherever we land, which is often a job in some company. Where we’re generally paired with and surrounded by people we never choose to be with, and who often don’t share our same values, beliefs, morals, goals and interests. We just happen to share the same office fulfilling some task for an employer.

That’s not intentional and comparable to groups of people who come together to help each other achieve success.

One of my favorite ‘support groups’ of history is the Inklings. This was an informal literary group that met in homes or pubs or various places to discuss and debate aspects of their shared writing advocacy. The successes that came out of this group or profound, and include C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien.

I’m also fascinated by animals in the wild…especially on the African savanna. They ALL live and work in groups. And what do predators do with their prey? Try to single them out so they are vulnerable. For me it’s such a great analogy of spiritual life. The Enemy tries to isolate us and keep us alone. He knows we are then vulnerable and…weak. We’ll fail.

So back to us. If you can relate, and know you have desires for different/more/better but you’re doing it alone without a cohesive, invested group of others to give you the strength that successful people have, what do you do?

Well, you go after it and find them. If you want to run a marathon, you go join a running club. If you want to overcome an addiction you join a support group.

Want to start a side business or pursue self-employment fully? Want to pursue purpose and freedom in your life? I can place you with a team of six others pursuing free agency, immediately – check it out, we’ve still got spots left: Get a personal consultation with me, then join a 7-member small group

How about you? Are you going it alone? Or have a testimony about success in some area alongside others who bolstered your efforts?

If you’d rather hear the show where I expanded on this topic:Right-click to download / Listen or subscribe via iTunes

  • Brett Traudt

    Thanks for a great post Kevin. A few weeks ago, Le’ Zette and I were attending a new church near our new place in Clovis. The pastor was talking about their missions and he referenced something I had never heard. In Luke 10:2 Jesus calls our Father… Lord of the Harvest.

    Something hit me. For the last 3 years, I have been developing different ideas… soapmaking being one of them… and connecting with people online. One thing that I have failed to do is get out and meet people who share my wife’s and my values. We have been homebodies and haven’t met new people.

    Your post, is exactly what I needed along with the message a few weeks ago. He is calling us to His Harvest and we need to be open and willing to go… where I am sure He has people waiting for us to get to know. We need to stop going on this journey alone.

    Thank you.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      I missed your comment here Brett! Thanks for sharing this, so grateful it had value. I must say that being surrounded by people who I share values with is some of my primary fuel. I probably take it for granted…thanks for making me think about it, and be grateful.

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