What can you learn from screwed up people?

November 2nd, 2012 by Agent Kevin Miller

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Everything.

My motivation to write this right now and send to you is…I’m tired. I’m tired of people thinking I ‘have everything together’. Just because I have some areas of success in my life and I get to teach about them and help others, doesn’t mean I’m bringing anything to anyone from some mount of wisdom and all-wellness. And I’m just as tired of others who have a platform to influence others…coming off like they have life figured out. I know way too many of these folks personally or through mutual friends. The truth is, most anyone who has achieved enough success that you are reading what they write or listening to what they say or doing what they tell you…they have some excesses and imbalances in their lives that might surprise you.

My point here however, is not to dog anyone, including myself. I’m proud I can deliver some value to others amidst my weaknesses and faults. And that’s they key. Not to let your junk overcome your glory.

You should applaud all the folks you revere and follow. NOT because they are superior or brilliant or genius or ‘have it all together’. Instead, shift your paradigm and applaud them because they too, are able to deliver value in spite of their shortcomings. You should also have more grace when some big name has a big downfall. The same excess that have made them succeed and be in that light, generally (I believe almost always) has a darkside fighting against them.

So what does this mean for you? Quit minimizing yourself. You’re screwed up too. The only difference between you and ‘them’ is you’re not delivering value anyway. Quit waiting to ‘have it all together’ in order to help others. Hone what you’re good at and make it great…and give it to others. Learn how to manage your shortcomings. Better them as much as you can! Just don’t use em’ as a crutch.

But also, please…hold on to your humility.

And for those of you who have a platform and are influencing and helping others, for petes sake, quit coming off like you have everything figured out. You don’t and you know it. You have an area of excellence to offer. Keep offering. But quit being scared you’ll be found out. Found wanting in an area of your life. Tip for the day, we’ll believe you, respect you and follow you more when you admit you aren’t perfect and your constantly struggling in areas of your life. We don’t believe believe you have it all together anyway, we’re just acting along with you.

Now…Go. Deliver. Serve. Be great where you’re great and have peace in your faults, even as you continually work to overcome them.

Signed,
Agent Screwed Up but Delivering Anyway

  • Ted Yoder

    Amen Kevin. I especially like you encouraging us to find peace in our weaknesses. We need to not forget that God made us human too. As the famous Rich Mullins wrote, “we are not as strong as we think we are.”

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Thanks Ted, great to hear from you brother! As usual, I’m talking to myself here. I watched ‘Music Within’ recently and the main character with severe cerebral palsy had such joy amidst his infirmity. Was something I needed to dwell on.

  • http://BrandonCordoba.com Brandon Cordoba

    “Not to let your junk overcome your glory…deliver value in spite of their
    shortcomings…quit being scared you’ll be found out (I still struggle
    w/ women & workaholism)…Be great where you’re great and have peace
    in your faults, even as you continually work to overcome them.” wow! nice Kevin! & thank you brother

    I read the other day, “we judge others based off their actions, we judge
    ourselves based off our intentions” (from the book Weird)

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      thank you brother! As usual, preaching to myself a lot here. Great quote.

  • Keith Branson

    Excellent example of transparency and authenticity in our influence of others! Thanks for encouragement for us to be real.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Keith…thank you. Just sharing what I’m learning

  • http://twitter.com/esggraphics Eric Gale

    Kevin,

    Great post today and a great show yesterday. I appreciate you sharing that you don’t have it all together.

    As some one that I look up too, at times it’s hard to remember that you are just as human as I am. You, your dad, Justin Lukasavige, Andy Traub, Gary Barkalow, and Deb Ingino, all seem to have it together. I forget that you all have been doing things longer than I have.

    In John Acuff’s book Quitter, he recounts a story where he was told “Don’t compare your beginning to some one else’s middle”. It’s hard to remember that.

    You’ve been self employed for years and I’ve been doing it for 2 months.

    Thanks for being real. It help encourage me (and others) to be real as well.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Thanks, as always Eric! Great quote. I’m prone to that as well. Grateful for you brother.

  • Terissa Miller

    Feels nice to have the mask off. Breathing free air & all that, y’know?

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      yep

  • http://twitter.com/iyasostuff Osayi

    Great post. sometimes I feel tempted not to share weaknesses, but people respond to weaknesses. Sometimes I feel like my weaknesses make me ineligible to provide value, but you are right, we are all valuable.

    Thank you for sharing this post, we should all talk about our weaknesses more often.

    Excellent post!

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Osayi, this was so much my point here, “Sometimes I feel like my weaknesses make me ineligible to provide value.” Most folks feel this way and we miss what they have to give. And the few people who DO step out to provide value, often get into a rut of acting like they are no longer weak.

  • Doug Gale

    Hey Kevin…Great title! I think about all of the screwed up decisions I have made and makes me think that there are possibly a lot of things people could learn from my crazy decisions…really! When I see those people, whether it is in person or on some internet presence, who claims or appears to have it all together I wonder what they are hiding, or what is happening behind the scenes. Maturity, after 40 some years, has taught me that I will make screwy decisions, but as long as I learn from them and hopefully not make them again then I am learning and growing.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Absolutely Doug. We’ll always be maturing, but always struggling. Gaining strength, but always weak. And able to do great things amidst it all.

  • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

    Amen Kevin. We’re all screwed up people living in an imperfect world. I’m just hoping my screwed-up-ness is bringing value and helping others live a better life.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      You’re screwed-up-ness WILL bring value to others…just gotta get over ourselves and go deliver what we can, eh?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1026054025 Wendy Sutter-Staas

    Well said, Kevin. Well said.

  • http://seekoutwisdom.blogspot.com Joseph Iliff of SeekOutWisdom

    “The only difference between you and ‘them’ is you’re not delivering value anyway. Quit waiting to ‘have it all together’ in order to help others.”

    This speaks right to me. I have been having a thought rolling around in my head recently: “Successful people do what unsuccessful people do not want to do. Successful people don’t want to do it either, but they do it anyways.”

    The successful people don’t love to do everything they have to do. And they’re not perfect at everything they have to do. They just value the results they get from doing it more than the discomfort they feel while doing it. They may not love it, and they may not be perfect at it. They don’t let either of those facts get between them and their goal. If it gets them the results they need, they do it. The discomfort and imperfection is temporary, but the result endures forever.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      You said it brilliantly Joseph. Do it…anyway. Thanks.

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