This may be the Holy Grail of change
July 25th, 2012 by Agent Kevin Miller
The focus of all Free Agent shows, blogs, podcasts and events is ultimately personal development. At face-value the main topic of course is work and self-employment, but we only want work to be better because we want our lives to be better. And changing our lives is about changing ourselves.
I didn’t really set out to focus my vocational life in personal development, my focus was business development. Getting people to find what they cared about, and how to package that care into a product or service that benefits the world in some way AND makes a buck. Or better…a million bucks.
Hear the show where I expanded on this topic:
But what I found in people who are in traditional employment and want to work at something they find true purpose in…the crux – the root – the foundation – the primary challenge, the big enchilada is: personal development.
And further, even those already working at what they truly find purpose in and even those who are already successfully self-employed, when they want to progress further, the crux – the root – the foundation – the primary challenge, the big enchilada is STILL primarily: personal development.
What is personal development? Personal change.
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR US?! Why do we generally fail, and as a culture expect and accept a high failure rate?
We all have a long, long laundry list of ways we’ve wanted to change and grow and progress and yet failed. Why have we read hordes of New York Time bestselling books, plowed through miles of blogs, listened to countless hours of podcasts, been to seminars and conferences galore (including youtube videos like the most excellent TED content) and yet changed so very, very little…if at all?
You ready for my brilliant, insightful, genius, divinely inspired holy grail of truth?
Now I’m a little nervous. I could be wrong. But what sells me is…I’m just a regular schmuck like you, and this is what seems to get me every time. And I see the same thing with so many people I’m fortunate enough to walk with as they pursue personal change.
So without further ado, I believe the HOLY GRAIL OF CHANGE IS: We just don’t want to risk changing our current normal.
What is normal to us today has a stronger strangle hold on us than our desires, dreams, convictions, fears and hopes. Again, please stop and think about it; What is normal to us today has a stronger strangle hold on us than our desires, dreams, convictions, fears and hopes.
My experience is this reality exists for two reasons:
- What we know is safe. Even if it’s near hell. Beaten wives and kids and people whose loathsome work is giving them ulcers and suicidal thoughts verify this daily by staying in what is normal for them. At least they know what to expect and there is safety and faith in that.
- Our normal is usually made up primarily of our culture’s normal. And the cultural norm is, well, all we know. What were were raised up in environmentally is our greatest and foundational programming. Bucking the norm is fun to watch a character do in an epic movie, but we don’t do it ourselves or condone it in real life. It’s uncomfortable, we face ridicule, disapproval and ‘concerns’ from those who we really just want to please. We’re not much different than in high school where the overwhelming pressure was to be popular, or at least liked, or at the very least, not picked on and disdained.
We don’t want to change normal. We’re stuck in normal. Altering normal will initially hurt in someway because it’s unknown.
I wrote about twice as much on this and just deleted it. You get the point.
This truth (if I’m in fact on target…?) doesn’t make things easier for you or me. It doesn’t solve anything. It’s just merely an aid for understanding the score. To help us know what to expect. My great friend Gary Barkalow gives a great analogy of ‘knowing the score’ with an analogy of what kind of ship we perceive our life is on. Please watch this quick 3:26 video before you keep reading:
Now, if you desire anything to actually change in your life, you must resign yourself and commit to changing your current normal. Disturb the calm waters of the cruise ship you’ve been trying to journey on, and buckle down for a battle ship. Shake things up. Get out of your box. Or in other words…risk. Risk what you know and have perceived safety and faith in.
Will the effort be worth it? As my buddy Todd Zeller says, if your current normal is at level 6 and you want it to be a level 9, are you willing to risk going to level 2 to get from 6 to 9? Most are not.
And if not, at least save yourself the wasted effort and hope. Realize the next self-help book, podcast, blog, seminar or video is just an attempt for some feel good inspirational entertainment and not really fuel for true aspiration (where you take action).
The only way Free Agent Academy is able to help guide people to clarity on their Purpose and applying it to their work, creating a business and changing their life is if they are finally ready to disrupt their current normal for a better normal. We’re game to join you in this for a whopping $95.
Can you relate to this topic of changing normal? Have you been seeking and pursuing and desiring better in your life…but not really ready to change your normal yet? Or, have you had experience of finally changing your normal and realized the payoff?
Please share below…