We want results, but how do we deal with discouragement?

October 30th, 2012 by Agent Kevin Miller

ape

Yesterday I shared a confession of the heart from a new member and replied with a ‘Part 1′ response to his question. You can read it here, including and incredible comment by the guy himself, “I’ll never truly learn who I was made to be“. Here is Part 2 as promised, focusing on ‘discouragement’:

So there were these two young apes in Africa, Leroy and Bruce. They lived the life of a typical ape. Foraging for food, fighting off predators, weathering famine and injury and illness. Mating and winning a fight were highlights, as was a great kill and feast. Overall, the highs and lows, trials and triumphs of life in the wild.

One day they got chased by a bunch of men and Bruce was captured. They shipped him to America and he was placed in a fine zoo. He was no longer free. However, he no longer had to work for food, it was delivered like clockwork. He no longer had to fight off predators, he was alone and behind secure fences that while keeping him in, also kept any nuisance out. He had sun, shade and warmth. They even gave him powders to keep lice off, and medicines to ward off illness. They brought in a female occasionally for a bit of mating.

Over time however, Bruce was not well. He was in fact…pretty bad off. Discouraged. He’d lost his joy and confidence. He had no purpose. Truthfully though, he struggled even admitting those feelings. He knew his buddy Leroy was out in the wild facing possible death on a daily basis. Heck, he didn’t even know if Leroy was alive! In comparison, he felt guilty for not being somewhat grateful.

One day he caved in and sent a letter to Leroy, hoping it would find him. He shared his heartache and pain and then his shame in admitting his feelings. Weeks passed and he got a letter back from Leroy! True to form, Leroy was concise and to the point:

Dear Bruce,
Thanks for the letter. Brother, let your shame be gone. You are right to feel pain and heartache. I face death daily, but my heart is fully alive. You are safe from outside harm, but your insides are rotting. Your heart is dead. Why? You lost your freedom. I’ll take risk and freedom any day. Here’s to you finding a way home!
Your Friend, Leroy

- – - – - – - – - -

I give the above analogy to give credence to discouragement. We often minimize it in comparison to other’s circumstances. But discouragement is real and dangerous. A bullet or car wreck or rabid ape might kill us. But a dead heart certainly will. There are many walking dead among us.

So first, give the discouragement weight in your life and reality.

The next issue is then…why do we stay in our state of discouragement and let it hold us captive? Generally due to past failures at escape and life-change. In our above story, let’s assume Bruce initially tried to escape, to no avail. Maybe he was disciplined for the effort and it made circumstances even worse! Every avenue was blocked. He gave up.

But for us, unless you’re reading this from an actual jail cell, you are not a victim of true imprisonment. There are ways out for you, though they may seem overwhelming. You may have tried and failed.

Try again.

Assume you won’t get out till your 300th try. The only way to get there is to start knocking out the numbers of ‘tries’ ahead of 300.

Let me admit something here. I know discouragement. Presently. I have areas in my life that are not ‘well’ and when time goes by and they aren’t better…I get discouraged. All I know to do is show up the next day and try again. Battle some more. Try something different. Risk. Hope. Pray.

But never give in or give up. That lets discouragement win…and would be my death. I’m not here to die.

How about you?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1026054025 Wendy Sutter-Staas

    Kevin. . . through the years I have let discouragement paralyze me — but thanks to your team of leaders in FAA . . .and you and Teri — I REFUSE to give up this time. . .I am plunging forward. Ugh, it is hard some days, but honestly — I figured out how to keep the discouragement monster away. Of course trust in the Lord is key — but when I thought I was doing the wrong thing a couple weeks ago — I got blessed with the opportunity to speak about my passion. . . and it is still alive and well. I figured out I need to be around more like minded people locally. I am so fired up lately that I am scheduling my first event in February — I have 4 speakers lined up.

    I refuse to give up!!! I will not fear or discouragement defeat me — I will not!!

    I encourage every reader here to never give up — it has taken me 4 years to get here. . . and it is worth ever fight!! You can do it :)

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      You’re the free agent posterchild Wendy!!

  • Michael Parker

    Thank you Kevin. No more will I let discouragement paralyze me. I’m sure you have heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I have been caught in that discouragement cycle for far to long. I am certain that there will be days when I will be tempted to fall back into it, but I now know that the pursuit of my purpose in life is obtainable. People like yourself and Wendy are are truly inspirational! I’m glad that I took the initial leap of faith to partner with you. I feel that I am beginning to awaken to a self that I had lost and I look forward to digging a little deeper every day.
    Michael

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Here is something that is hard for me Michael, but I know it to be true. When you find yourself succumbing…reach out. Hey, you have my personal email. Use it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/mdparker04 Michael Parker

        You’re so right. Thanks for the offer too. I appreciate that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mary.lawson.397 Mary Lawson

    Great timing Kevin after a day of getting “beat up” by a parent. Discouraging was the
    word, for a while! Glad to see that you watched The Music Within – a movie we have used with staff and for people that we serve.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Mary…grateful to be of value. Hey, that movie was recommended by Gary Barkalow. So, so great.

  • redeemingcarolyne

    Freedom….such a wonderful and powerful word! The minute we are tied, chained, or yoked to “life” our imprisonment begins. It could be something menial to our entire existence but the minute we are trapped by whatever we are doing, it is like a pin pricking a balloon and all life is expelled from us. Want to find the “real” brilliance of freedom? It is when you attain it REGARDLESS of your circumstances and then live it out every second of everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This is a profound truth many of us don’t want to look at. If I have learned anything in this journey of overcoming it is that, “The longer you remain in oppression eventually your oppressor NO longer has to do his job……YOU will do it for him!”

    God bless you, Kevin!
    Carolyne

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Well Carolyne, this is a big part of why I post blogs. Because so often the comments carry far more weight than what I began with. I’m grateful to be a catalyst.

    • http://christopherbattles.net/ Christopher Battles

      Well put.
      Thank you Carolyne.

      The topic of Satan getting too much credit was brought up. A tire blows out and it is Satan’s fault and not the fact that they were bald to begin with.
      Our worst enemy can really be ourselves.

      K, bye

    • Terissa Miller

      holeee crap.

      This is so profoundly, painfully true:
      “The longer you remain in oppression eventually your oppressor NO longer has to do his job……YOU will do it for him!”

      And sometimes the ‘oppressor’ isn’t a person…its a habit, or generational-sin, or family trait, or wounded place deep within. A pain I keep re-inflicting upon myself. Dangit.

      Carolyne, you have deep wisdom.

      what an inspiration you are to me!!!!

  • http://christopherbattles.net/ Christopher Battles

    Thank you Kevin.

    Great story. I think people see the comforts/on demand lifestyle and what life should be. Then they finds ways to comfort and numb those feelings of being in the zoo with others. I was jogging yesterday and listening to Zig Ziglar talk about how things get resolved on television by punching someone, taking a drink of alcohol, hopping into bed with someone or something else. Under certain circumstances that are reasons why those would be fine, but I use that analogy different from Zig and in the realm of what gets shown to “fight” that numb feeling of being in zoo and never having been in the wild. In “The Butter Effect,” by Andy Andrews(it is a quick fifteen minute read) he points out our life matters and everything we do matters.

    America is going through this now even more with we praising how we are “free,” but also want to have all the comforts and things taken care of. People are scared as the job economy is changing. Changing for the better in the long wrong as it is forcing people to not just clock in and out for hours, but change is not welcomed with open arms when they do not realize that they were in a cage before. I am looking for/need some consistent work to get by now and will probably join FAA once I am at a place to financially do it(Note: the price is wonderful). So in some ways I am looking to clock some hours, but not wanting to “just go anywhere.” On my résumé I have something along the lines of “bloom where I plant myself.” I want to convey that I chose to be here and am not putting out a thousand résumés as we hear people tell your dad. At the end of the day though, I stop myself and am reminded that at my church we are doing a corporate fast, I need to silence more and pray more and truly take action.

    Thank you again Kevin.
    Reading these before the podcast helps to digest the information a bit better.

    K, bye

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Christopher, thanks for this, as always. America the free…I think not. We have become an incredibly dependent and imprisoned culture. We are free to choose anything we want, but most choose to give their freedom away to possessions and an employer (so they can afford those possessions).

  • http://seekoutwisdom.blogspot.com Joseph Iliff of SeekOutWisdom

    Studies have shown that people are most likely to quit trying right before their biggest success. It is easy to be discouraged and hard to keep trying, and the easy choice is rarely the best one.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      As I addressed in the show, great, true point Joseph. Thank you.

  • Terissa Miller

    Gosh, this made me cry.

    Hoping & wishing & praying FREEDOM in those hard areas, my Love. Freedom for us both.

    • http://www.freeagentacademy.com Kevin Miller

      Absolutely!

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